(Closed) newly Engaged…Don’t even know where to start with the planning! help!

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
8590 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I did the venue first. All the vendors will want to know your date so I think the venue is the best place to start.

Post # 4
48 posts
  • Wedding: January 1992

We chose our reception venue before everything else. That way we weren’t limited by a date.

After reception venue came date, then ceremony venue, I found a dress somewhere in-between.

We also chose a photographer soon after picking a date because she was inexpensive and happened to be available during our day.

We still have flowers to finalize, his suit, invitations are picked just need to be ordered and favours.

Post # 5
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Figure out your guest list size because that will influence your budget and venue options. Once you know your rough guest list size, then you can look for venues that will work. We actually started from the caterer to look for venues because it’s a kosher wedding, but most venues will either have an in-house caterer or a list of preferred caterers to pick from. After that, you can worry about photographers, flowers, etc. Dresses take 4-6 months to order if you go the salon route, so start looking sooner rather than later if not buying from David’s, Craigslist or recycledbride/preowned wedding dresses, etc.


Post # 6
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

First of all….. try to set your date far enough in advance that it won’t stress you out too much trying to plan it in short time, because you should also give yourself time to enjoy actually being engaged.   we got engaged november 2010 and wedding is september 2012

We did our guest list first. but keep in mind, your guest list will continually be changing in the beginning and probably almost up until you’re ready to send out the invites. 

then we picked out our wedding party.  

then we started the search for the venue.  that took a long time but alas we found the perfect place.   it was a grueling search.   upon that we decided on our “theme”.  Our venue also includes catering and a coordinator(3 – 1 hour consultations pre-wedding, and she is included in the day of as our coordinator)

We chose our photographer before the venue even.  haha, we found him at a wedding show and LOVED him, so we booked him almost instantly to get the deal he was offering. 

then i found my dress!  still no bridesmaids dresses.(going to look next week)

then i ordered the bouquets and boutonnieres, because i bought the fabric/brooch ones off Etsy

we booked our band recently.

now we are in the process of making our own invitations and decor/and coming up with songs and menu and our soon to be sourcing out our JOP, etc.  

One step at a time.

We did have kind of a budget in the beginning but we’ve already gone over by like 5,000 soooo…… we don’t really have a budget but we are just trying to keep costs down by doing alot of our own stuff like the invites and decor etc.   i knew if there was anything i was going to want to spend money on was the venue itself, the band, and the food.   everything else i have no problem cheaping out on. haha. 

Post # 7
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Figure out your budget and guestlist first. Both will be HUGE factors into what you can afford for everything else. 

Budget may mean talking to other parties (in laws, family) about if they are going to chip in.

After that figure out venue and ceremony so you’ll have dates for other vendors.

Then book your officiant, photographer, and DJ. They are vendors that can only serve one wedding a day and they can book up in advance. It’s better to book them earlier to make sure you have options. 

Google wedding checklist–there are a lot out there that will give more help about when certain things ned to happen.

Good luck! I was also totally overwhelmed at first, but things are definitely starting to fall into place. 

Post # 8
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think the best thing to do is think of the overall picture. What kind of feeling are you going for? Romantic? Rustic? Modern? Luxury? etc..

Then do a rough guest list.

These two things will help you to decide how big the wedding will be and that will get you started with the budget.

Once you have an idea of the budget, look into the venue.

When all of that is in place, you’ve got a date set and the rest of the planning can begin.

Post # 9
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i recommend theknot.com.  i feel like i make this recommendation so often that they should pay me to be their spokesperson.  you can enter in your date and it will calculate a to-do list for you.  beware, it’s a really really long list full of details you may have never heard of, but just cross off the ones that don’t apply to you and it wittles down quickly.  but it’s a good guideline to see what you need to get done to be “on track”.  another amazing feature is the budget calculator.  you put in your total number and how many guests you’re having and it breaks down roughly what you can spend on food, flowers, photography, etc.  basically, when we used that, it showed us that the number we had picked for our budget was totally unrealistic (given what we wanted) and we had to DOUBLE IT!  that being said, here is my own personal recommendation:


1. get the venue.  but in order to do this, you need to make a rough guest list, and a rough budget.  a lot of venues require you to use their catering, and if you don’t know how many people you need to feed and what you can afford overall, you won’t know if their per person charge is too much for you.

2. while you are looking at venues, start to look at dresses.  you should ideally order your dress by 7 months before your wedding in order to leave time for delays and alterations.  you have about a year (good amount of time!), so if you start on dresses soon-ish, it will give you about 4 months to mull things over and feel okay to change your mind a few times.  

3. if your vendors are pretty important to you (as they were to me), then start reading reviews to help you decide, because the good ones will book the fastest.  we cared a lot about photography, for example, and not about flowers.  so we booked our photographer pretty far in advance to make sure that we didn’t miss out.  

4. think about what things are going to be hardest for you personally (guest list because your parents are going to be really involved, dress because you don’t have any clear ideas, flowers because you know nothing about them, etc) and start on those things early.  

another piece of general advice – wedding planning goes differently for EVERYONE.  some people have been thinking about this day all their lives, some didn’t think it would ever happen (me), some want to please their family, some want it all about themselves, some want to do it budget, some want a grand event, etc.  so there is no right or wrong way, and it’s hard to take advice from others if you’re not operating on the same wave length.  so, you may not be similar to me at all, but one thing that happened a lot for me was that i felt so many details were dependent on each other (my budget determines the venue, venue impacts the overall feel and dictates how fancy my dress needs to be, which then goes back to budget, which gets adjusted over and over) that i needed some time to plan something, see how it affected the subsequent decisions, and then go back and change it.  in normal life, i do not operate like that at all.  so perhaps give yourself the leeway to gradually develop a vision, and each pieces of the puzzle that you fit will make all the following ones easier. 


good luck!

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