(Closed) Newly married? What Would You….

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

Great question!

What I would do differently….

~ I’d defintely find WeddingBee before the wedding and not after.  I guess you won’t have that issue.

~ Think outside the box more.  For example – I just assumed all grooms wear a black tux and didn’t think much about it.  My husband is not a ‘wear black’ kinda guy – he’s outdoorsy and sticks to the brown/olive green color scheme.  So I know it would have made him really happy to wear a brown tux or nice brown suit.  I really wish I’d arranged that for him.  Opps.

~ Also – I had the reception planned out on a schedule.  I let my ADD step-father fluster me to rush some things out of schedule.  Really what I should have done was ignored him and followed my plan.  He really managed to put a damper on my mood during the reception – and I shouldn’t have let that happen.   

~ I spent too much on invitations.  Since I only had to send out 26 I knew I could spend more with my budget.  They were beautiful – I loved them.  But really I prob could have DIY something for less.

~ An issue I’m torn on.  When to leave for the honeymoon.  We choose a 6 am flight the next morning.  It gave us an extra day in Costa Rica – which was wonderful!  We arrived and relaxed the entire first day!   BUT.  With a car service issue (flat tire) we got to the hotel at midnight after the wedding and had to leave at 4am for our flight.  Not the most relaxing first night being married!  So was the extra day in Costa Rica worth it?  I think next time I would get married on Sat, enjoy a little extra time with family on Sun – plus plan something super sweet/relaxing for the hubby and me that day – then fly out on Monday.  I’d also make sure the honeymoon was 8-10 days and just suck it and take more time off work!  It’s worth it!

~ Probably would have spent a lot less on the e-ring.  Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE my ring.  But the reality of it is the cost of my ring would probably build us a great deck or be a good start to our kitchen remodeling fund!  I should have insisted we use a family ring (that he thinks is too small… but I love) vs letting him buy me a ring 🙂

~ I would have put more of an emphasis on being green and eco-friendly.  Not that I was un eco-friendly (I didn’t have programs and used potted plants for center pieces) – it just wasnt’ really on my radar as I was planning – and wish it had been.

~ By far my best decision – we made things a weekend affair.  We had a dinner at a local buffet with live bluegrass on thurs night.  Friday we had a riverfront picnic all day with games/canoeing/hanging out – followed by a bbq (pulled pork) dinner at our house.  Sat morning the guys played golf and I invited all the women to the spa to get pampered while I got ready. (toes/nails/massage/hair/facial – I gave them a $25 gift card to use towards whatever).  With all these other events we were really able to spend quality time with our families and they were able to bond.  The wedding itself goes by so fast and has this different energy – I don’t think anyone ever feels like they have enough time with guests.  I felt the same way – it was a blur.  I’m glad I had these other events to spend relaxed time with family.

~ Also a bonus was having the wedding and reception at the same venue.  It was convienent.  Very cost effective as we used things for both without a big moving hassle.   

Ok sorry – Most of this stuff is not buget related.  I’m pretty happy with how our budget worked out.  We stayed right around 10K.  It helped that we were blessed with the photography as a gift.

Post # 4
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

too funny, jilian – we did the same thing with our honeymoon!  we had to stay up all night – we got back to the room around 230 am, and had to leave at 430 am.  there was no way we were getting any upgrades the way we looked!  then we didn’t get to sleep until 9pm sunday night!  We also went to Costa Rica.  So, Cyd – definitely book a later flight if you are leaving the next morning!

One thing I was sad about was the day of – I had figured we had all day to get our hair and makeup done, then pictures before ceremony, etc.  However, naturally things ALWAYS run behind, so we rushed through some of our portrait session which is the most important thing! It didn’t help that our driver was an idiot! he got lost several times, for almost an hour!  thank god for the champagne.  So – #1 – plan for things to get off schedule, and leave extra time.  #2, get your photographer for the whole day, or at least your entire reception.  Ours stayed until 10:30 PM, but our reception ended at midnight.  There could have been a lot more great party shots!  He asked me too – I should have had them stay!

Other than that, don’t overthink, overplan, or get stressed too much!  Oh – if you have a guestbook, have someone go around asking people to sign it – only like, 30 people signed ours ; (

so anyway, there is always going to be "one more thing" you can add to the list…..try to stick with the original plan.  No one notices the tiny little details at all.  they really only notice the food and the music and if you are having fun!

Post # 5
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

just got married last month and here is my two cents:

i would have spent less on the florist. i wouldn’t have downgraded the flowers, just shopped more for a florist. i went with the florist recommended by our venue and he was someone who did a lot of corporate events. he ended up not caring very much about our wedding and not being very nice. i would go with a smaller business who was more interested in doing a good job and charging less.

 i would have spent less time worrying about the stationary. i obsessed over every little indentation and font. just not worth it. no one noticed.

i would have spent more time on being more specific about what kind of florals i wanted. again, this may have had a lot to do with my florist.

 i would have spent less on the dress. at the time, it seemed like i had to have the perfect dress. but you literally wear it for only a few hours! i spent a lot getting a kenneth pool dress because i thought it was very fashion forward, etc, but i could have found something great for cheaper.

 i would have spent more money on . . . nothing! if you do your research and listen to other bees in the hive, it will pay off and you should be able to find vendors at reasonable costs. just make sure to shop around before deciding.

Post # 6
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

great post – very helpful for those of us still in the planning stages.

Post # 7
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I would have….

Spent less money on champagne toast.  I adore champagne and sparkling wine, but I think I was the only person out of the 50+ people at the wedding that even finished my glass.  I went to take a glass off the waiters tray thinking he was bringing more fresh glasses out- but they were actually being picked up from after the toast.

Spent more time on figuring out the really small yet important details- like telling people which chairs were reserved and which weren’t. Guest overestimated our family that needed to be in the first row- and no one sat in the 2nd row at all.  🙁  

Oh and maybe spent more money on flower petals to make a flower petal aisle – i didn’t use anything for the aisle (we were outside)

Do less worrying.  Not worth it- no one will notice the little thing you torment yourself over.

Include more family/friends activities before the wedding. We had a get together for a couple of hours on friday night and on a sunday morning brunch.  But I would have loved to have an entire day with them.

Do differently-  I would have spent a little more money on our honeymoon and stayed another day or two  🙂

Etc – Honestly,after thinking  I don’t think there is anything I would have changed, I loved our wedding- it was everything and more I thought it would be, for me it was perfect

Post # 9
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

Best thing I did:  I had a party with my friends 2 days before the wedding.  Since most people didn’t know each other, I think it was a great ice breaker and helped them enjoy it more.  

I also had a separate get together with my family before and after the wedding.  Again it just helped me not feel so pressured to catch-up with EVERYONE.    

What people liked the most:   People loved all the prersonalization.  For our program, we did a whole playbill with everyone’s photos and bios.   People LOVED it.  We had little cards with message opposed to just a table card.  WE also had custom fortune cookies, and engraged chopsticks.

High expense I don’t regret: Make-up and hair, showed how much I cared when looking at rehearsal vs wedding photos.  I didn’t like my make-up at rehearsal.  I also paid for my bridesmaids hair as part of their present.  I’m glad I did because they looked really good.

Could have saved on: Photo guest book.  Guests didn’t always get it, we really needed to have a full time attendant.  I would have been equally happy to tell the photographer to make sure s/he gets a table photo or take lots of photos of our guests. and just put the photos in after the signature pages.

Possible other savings? the dress.  I loved my dress, but I realize I could have save $600 on alterations, cleaning etc and just gotten a long dress and had the bridemaids wear shorter dresses.   I really wanted a big dress at the time, but I realize now that it probably wan’t a major issue.

Save the Date magnets.  I seriously don’t think we needed them.  Most people don’t even remember them, or threw them out.  Cute souveni, but, if needed, a cool designed postcard would have sufficed and been half the price. 

 Things I wish I thought of:

I found out that most our vendors need explicit directions to do things, they’re not necessariliy proactive or good organizers. 

1) I assumed our day of coordinator would MANAGE the event.  She was absolutely awful at actaully coordinating.   I gave her a checklist of stuff she needed to do 2 days before, but she didn’t look at it and wasn’t proactive, so a lot of things were missed.   For example, one item was "we need bubbles for the kids"   We should have said give kids bubbles at reception.   I heard the bubbles were somewhere at the wedding, but we nor the kids ever got them.    I think being overly controling might have felt like a bridezilla, but it would have completely decreased stress levels, and made sure things things we planned happened.

2) Given a list to our photographer of photos we want with clear instructions to remind us that we wanted these photos, if we didn’t think about it.   We e-mailed her a list of photos, but we just discussed it.  She didn’t bring the list because she assumed we would remember, but we were completely brainless that day.

 3) Minor things, but I wish i got the copy of my make-up sheet, it would have been a cute souvenir.  I also wish I did more blogging, photos during planning it would have been great to make a photo book out of it.

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