- Mrs. Kiwi
- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2007 - Radisson Hotel
Hi there. I thought I’d create a post for those of you who may be in the same place in your pregnancy (or have been) as I am.
I’m currently 6w1d pregnant with my fourth pregnancy. I have a 3.5 year old whose pregnancy was as uncomplicated as it could have been (aside from the birth, but that’s not the issue here). My last two pregnancies occurred in September (a day past the technical chemical dating, but whatever), and the other was a missed miscarriage culminating in a medical miscarriage in January (conceived in November).
With my second loss I had betas done and early monitoring, so we were sure things were going well. We even saw a heartbeat. Then, at my next scan, the baby was gone. After waiting two weeks for my body to expel the “products of conception” naturally to no avail, I took misoprostol and miscarried over a weekend. I am ANA+, which means my body clots new growth, cutting off blood flow to the developing fetus and placenta. I am taking baby aspirin daily to try to stop that from happening, as it’s a blood thinner.
When I found out I was pregnant again, I decided that I would do whatever I could to know I’m doing all I can to sustain this pregnancy. Despite that, I am forgoing early scans AND betas because it didn’t help last time, as everything was looking perfect and still went wrong. My OB kindly prescribed 200mg of progesterone supplements the day after my bfp at 10dpo, and along with the aspirin, I feel that I’m doing all I can within reason.
I’m still testing on cheap dollar store tests every now and then, but when tonight’s test appeared a smidge lighter than the last time (coupled with the loss of any symptoms I had), I freaked out. Normally you have the lack of bleeding and cramps to put your mind at ease, but with my missed m/c I don’t have that luxury of being able to rely on that.
I’m extremely hesitant to join any Birth Month groups because I keep thinking the day I do, I’ll be jinxed. I am trying to keep the faith that this is our Rainbow Christmas baby, but sometimes it’s so hard.
I’d like to welcome all who have been in my place, who can give advice about coping with this paranoid and fearful life those who are pregnant after a loss lead. I’d love to have a place for others in this precarious position who just want to talk about various fears, and symptoms, and questions. This can be a place of support and hope, if you let it.