Post # 1
- Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall
I’ve read enough to know that the bee is full of experienced and intelligent ladies who tend to give good advice.
I recently found out I am pregnant and I am only in my 5th week of pregnancy (4w2d). This is my first pregnancy and I find myself being super careful about EVERYTHING! I am careful about bending over (tight pants, lots of cramping), stretching, what I eat and drink, etc. I realize this could be considered overboard, but I just don’t want to lose our little bean!
The biggest challenge so far is knowing what I can and cannot eat. I keep finding out I have eaten things I am not supposed to! Like processed meats, sausage meat, pre-made salad (mostly potato salad), etc. The more research I do online the more I find to worry about, like listeria and toxoplasmosis. I worry I have exposed (or will) my baby to these.
Another thing is I tend to eat ordered/delivered meals a lot and all this reading has me thinking, how do I know this food has been prepared safely?
I do realize all this worrying is not good and I certainly cannot spend the next 8 months freaking out over every little thing, but right now it’s on overdrive!
Perhaps I am extra stressed because this pregnancy is still so new?
I am thinking I should start cooking more at home, but there will still be times I will want to order in… Maybe I should stick to pizza?
I guess I am looking for reassurance that what I’m feeling is normal and that chances are I won’t do/eat something that will harm our peanut.
Thanks for your support <3
Post # 2
istanbee : breatheeeeeeeeeeee momma! I ate runny eggs for my first several weeks of pregnancy before I remembered they were on the no-no list. My kid is fine. Your kid will be fine. It’s normal to worry and be cautious but don’t let it consume your life! And you can bend over – you won’t hurt anything. Your “little bean” isn’t even as big as a bean yet! Uteruses are squishy and well protected.
Post # 3
I worried throughout my pregnancy that something would go wrong, so I get it. What helped me was reminding myself that baking a baby is something our bodies are designed for. LO is well protected in there and can withstand so much. What also helped is reminding myself that most MCs are due to something completely out of your control. No matter what you do (or don’t do), it isn’t something that you could have prevented by not bending over or by not eating that piece of cake.
I’d really recommend doing all that you can to relax (even if that means lining up a few counseling sessions or whatever) — pregnancy is a special time and in the grand scheme of things, such a short time of your life, so it’s worth trying to enjoy it as much as you can (until you feel like an immobile whale and just want them out). And once the baby’s here, there will be 349829085 more things to worry about. I think it’d be well worth it to try to learn tips and tricks to help bring your anxiety levels down now.
Post # 4
1st relax. everything will be ok. read the book. expecting better. it really takes away the fears of some of the pregnancy misconceptions.
let’s just talk deli meat. if it was contaminated and you got sick, you would get sick whether you were pregnant or not. as an adult you can likely overcome the sickness while a fetus cannot. heating deli meat to kill off the bad bacteria works.
i remember being at a party with my 2nd IVF pregnancy, trust me i was super careful about everything because of all the money we spent to get pregnant with each child. they were serving subs. i just ate them and didn’t give it a second thought.
i don’t see any reason why potato salad is off limits, although i don’t eat that anyway.
Post # 5
istanbee : I was the same my whole pregnancy. Coupled with the fact that I had two miscarriages prior, I was on overdrive until I heard his first cries in the delivery room. All I can tell you is to try and relax. We ordered out on a regular basis but I stuck to fully cooked foods, no salads since I didn’t know how well a restaurant washes their veggies but high heat cooking should kill any bacteria for the most part.
Pizza was my go to though buy partly because I craved it.
Congratulations and a happy and healthy 9 month’s to you!
ETA: I slept on my stomach until the second trimester and ate a few things that were on the no no list until I realized I couldn’t.
Post # 6
Agree with others- first, take a breath! Second- read up on the basics: no/very little booze, avoid unpasteurized cheeses, cut back or eliminate caffeine, cook your meat/eggs and just generally avoid questionable foods (like lunch meats or prepared salads that might have been sitting around for a while). When in doubt, microwave. Leave the litter box scooping to someone else (win!) if you have a cat. I’m on my third pregnancy so I’ve thrown most of the rules out the window at this point (I had a turkey sandwich and potato salad for lunch with a fully caffeinated coke and a half glass of wine last night and I’m 7 mos pregnant) but you’re right- you can drive yourself crazy avoiding, well, everything.
Kepe reminding yourself that your body was built for this- and your baby is already suuuper strong! They’re built to survive! Also, cooking at home is always good- might as well get used to it- it’s a real bear to take toddlers to dinner out 😄. Congratulations!
Post # 7
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Keep in mind that a lot of those rules are the ideals given various complications that could arise- for extra protection- like how the expiration dates on foods are set early enough to be certain the food hasn’t spoiled and to protect the companies providing it. We don’t expect that eating something that has recently expired will cause us to drop dead like Snow White with her magical apple.
All of the worrying is going to more directly negatively impact your baby, though, so it’s most important that you find a way to relax and get some ease flowing in yourself. There are some great guided meditations that you can listen to and some mental/emotional decompression practices that I found really helpful. I was worried about everything my first pregnancy and it was super helpful to have experienced mamas who were able to say, “Nope- that’s not something it’s worthwhile to expend your energy or focus on.”
Post # 8
I would try to get rid of that mindset, because if something does happen, it won’t be your fault. That’s the first thing the doctor tells you. Statistics help me. Think about all the babies out there that do get born. Think about how many of those moms take even a fifth of the precautions that you are. Embryo/fetus/baby things are pretty much parasites determined to get born if at all possible. Sometimes things go wrong, but it won’t be because you reached too high or bent over. The best thing you can do is relax and let your body do its thing. Because that’s very hard, I’d recommend maybe temporarily getting a therapist to talk to or seeing if you can make an early appointment with the doctor. Anxiety like this is a real head trip and it’s very hard to strike a good balance when something is going on in your body that you pretty much have no control over.
Are you in the pregnancy group for your projected birth month on this site? That’s a great source of people to talk to. I can’t really say the worries go away, but the time does pass and it somehow seems to get a bit easier.
Post # 9
Not to be morbid, but if you’re going to miscarry, it’s going to happen regardless of whether you follow all these dietary rules to a T. There is nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage unfortunately. I’m not saying this to scare you but rather to hopefully give you a sense of freedom?
My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks. I had followed all the rules. It made no difference – it was just a random fluke, not caused by anything i did or didn’t do. My second pregnancy is now a six month old healthy baby and I was pretty laid back about the dietary restrictions throughout it. I recommend reading the book Expecting Better – she condenses the leading data behind the various restrictions and gives you the info you need to make your own informed decisions about what to avoid or not.
Personally, I avoided tuna and anything unpasteurized throughout, but that was it. I ate raw fish, runny eggs, a cup of coffee a day, and an occasional small glass of wine in my 2nd and 3rd trimesters.
Anyway, congrats on your pregnancy! I hope it’s a healthy and boring 9 months for you.
Post # 10
Oh, I was definitely there with you! It seems there are SO many things you can’t do, eat, etc. and it’s so stressful thinking about it! I know it is SO much easier said than done, but it’s important to try not to stress too much since that’s bad for baby too! It sorta doesn’t make sense, but when I realized in my early pregnancy that I was pretty much going to have some measure of low-level anxiety over this kid pretty much forever, then it kind of became easier to accept it? If that makes any sense at all.
I would definitely second joining the birth month groups- usually someone on the board here will start a Facebook group that you can join which are GREAT for sharing anxieties and talking through things. There’s always someone else there worrying about the same things that you are- you’re not alone! I also recommend the book “Expecting Better” by Emily Oster- the author is an economist and goes through all of the pregnancy recommendations and the science/studies behind them. It really helped me calm down on a lot of things, since it goes into how small a lot of these risks really are! (She also just released a book about parenting birth through preschool which I just picked up- very timely since I’m 28 weeks now!)
Post # 11
tiffanybruiser : Haha I was still working on my comment when you posted so didn’t even see that you recommended “Expecting Better” first!
Post # 12
Oh man OP – I feel you 110%. I’m 4w2d too, and in the exact same boat. Don’t have any advice really, but just know that you’re not alone <3
Post # 13
Pregnancy is very stressful, and like some people on here I struggled all the way through. For me, I think pregnancy hormones threw me over the edge (compared to some lucky people I know who are quite anxious normally and felt very mellow and relaxed during pregnancy). To echo pp, if anything goes wrong it won’t be your fault. Just do your best with the rules. Definitely try to work on some coping/relaxation techniques now, so that hopefully you can feel more confident as time goes on. When you visit your doctor for the first time, which I did around 5 weeks, they should be able to give you a list/point you to reputable resources that might help you feel more confident in things you can and shouldn’t do. Congratulations, and good luck!
Post # 14
I worried a lot during my pregnancy too. Some worrying is normal, but if you start to notice it’s becoming more extreme or that it’s interfering with normal life, please don’t hesistate to talk to your doctor.
I had untreated Pre-natal anxiety and it robbed me of so much of the joy I could have experienced during pregnancy.
Post # 15
tiffanybruiser : I thought Expecting Better was a great read, too!