- 6 months ago
Women in war zones manage to carry (most of) their pregnancies to term. You’ll be fine.
Women in war zones manage to carry (most of) their pregnancies to term. You’ll be fine.
hampsterdance : Just because women in war-torn countries carry to term does not negate the worry and fear OP has. You may be trying to reassure her instead of diminishing her concern or anxiety, but as someone who is in her shoes (to the day) that blase ‘you’ll be fine’ doesn’t help. 🙁
istanbee : First of all, take a deep breath. I totally understand the worry. I spent most of my first trimester with my living son convinced I was going to miscarry. The important thing to remember is that there is NOTHING you can do, short of doing hard drugs and constantly drowning yourself in alcohol (and not always even then), that could possibly cause you to miscarry. It’s normal to be worried until you get out of the “danger zone”, but you need to manage your anxiety. SO much extra stress means extra cortisol, which isn’t healthy for either of you. I also recommend reading Expexting Better to help you sort through some of the myths about pregnancy. Bending and stretching during your pregnancy is actually very good for you and baby! It will help with the back pain that comes as you get further along.
Try to do something relaxing and enjoyable. If these worries are becoming intrusive, like you can’t stop yourself from thinking or distract yourself with something, you should speak to your doctor. Pre and postnatal anxiety is very common, and there are all sorts of things you can do to help. You’ve got this!
istanbee : another worrying preggo lady over here. I was ridiculous in retrospect.
I worried about…
deoderant, skincare and makeup ingredients
food (listeria) – salads, takeaway, foods prepared by friends/others, storing/eating leftovers
swimming in chlorinated pools
exposure to a battery that had leaked out of a remote and touched my skin
contact with bleach when doing laundry/cleaning
im sure the list goes on and on and I just forget, lol.
omg. I don’t know how my partner survived me. My baby is totally fine despite my worrying about freaking everything. Also I am so so much more relaxed with him outside of my body. I just needed to know he was safe.
If I were to get pregnant again, here’s the things I’d worry about….
heating up takeaway/day old leftovers to piping hot
Enjoying baths that aren’t stupid hot
I think it’s natural to worry to an extent. Try to stay off google and get advice from your doctor if you have ongoing concerns. Google made me insane.
Congrats on your pregnancy!
You’re going to be a parent so on some level you’ll be worried until the day you die 🙂
But on a serious note, PLEASE KNOW & BELIEVE that you cannot cause a miscarriage or something to go wrong with the development of your baby (unless you’re truly engaged in reckless behavior like drugs or working with harmful chemicals in a plant on a daily basis). If heavens forbid something bad happens with your pregnancy, it was NOT caused by you bending over in tight pants or eating a sandwich.
The last few listeria outbreaks have come from fruits and veggies than are healthy to eat during pregnancy and sold at any high quality grocery store, not from Jimmy Johns or Subway. The chances of you eating something and getting listeria are almost 0. The chances of you being in a car wreck are well above 0 but you keep driving with a seatbelt on, right? So generally eat what you want (unless you like your burgers raw and you eat imported unpasteurized cheese…then, back off).
I had a high risk pregnancy and worked out hard 3-4 times a week except for a bit in my first trimester when my OB benched me. I even ate a little sushi and drank a half glass of wine a few times! I was in a small car accident while 20 weeks pregnant. I used all my regular makeup and beauty products. I took a lot of hot baths, almost everyday in my 3rd trimester. I went down a water slide! And this was our IVF baby we paid a ton of $$$ to have! Said baby is now a healthy, happy almost 2 year old. The chemical pregnancy we lost before our child was never meant to be. Something was wrong with the embryo that made it not implant right, and it’s not because I used lipstick or put gas in my car or ate cheese and crackers while bending over that caused it.
Concern in pregnancy is valid. Fear is real. Just try to discern which fears are warranted and which are irrational. It will help you get through the next 9 months!!
I ate gas station hot dogs and nachos for breakfast for like half of my pregnancy. I like to think all the nitrates and red dye no. 4 fortified my daughter and made her stronger.
I think you’ll be okay!
First of all, congratulations! When you wake up each morning, be thankful that today you are pregnant and try to take joy in the present moment. I know it’s hard not to worry- I’ve had two miscarriages and am gearing up for a frozen embryo transfer in 2 weeks, and am nothing but a bundle of nerves, so I truly get it. I felt the exact way, especially with my second pregnancy after prior loss. But try to gain confidence in statistics- you more more likely to have a successful pregnancy and birth than miscarriage. And everyday you are pregnant your risk goes down. And to echo pps, most loss has nothing to do with anything you did or did not do. And it’s true, women have children in war torn countries, in time of famine and disease with little to no prenatal care. Heck, some women go the majority of their pregnancy not even knowing they are pregnant and eating all the food and booze and caffeine. Women have competed in the Olympics while pregnant, run marathons and lift heavy. I am not saying that to push your concerns under the rug, but really thinking about that reality helped me in the past. Your body is an extremely safe home for your fetus- have faith in that.
i pretty much ate everything throughout my pregnancy, except sushi, raw seafood and alcohol. Never had any issues. I think when it comes to the food thing you cant read to much into it. Avoid the obvious big no no’s and just be cautious what kind of establishments you eat at.
The first rule of pregnancy should be NO Googling. Seriously it will save your sanity.
The only thing I’d recommend reading up on is the benefits of exercise during pregnancy. A prenatal yoga class could be fun and relaxing for you. Bending over won’t hurt your baby!
I am so relieved reading these replies. Thank you for your understanding responses. Reading all of your experiences, kind words and advice is helpful. I appreciate everyone taking the time to help me and I am feeling pretty darn thankful to have found the bee!
I definitely tend to worry easily and this new pregnancy has sparked some anxiety. I want to do this right and minimize any risks but at the same time I will worry/exhaust myself silly by strictly following every little rule.
Y’all are right, I need to get my anxiety under control sooner rather than later. I can’t control everything and with a child on the way, there will always be something to worry about.
I like the book recommendation and I will check it out!
And if I am struggling too much to calm these anxieties by myself, I will follow the recommendations for counseling. Being a mom will be challenging enough without all the added anxiety I put on myself.
And I’ve absolutely been going a little Google-crazy. *Put the Google down* lol
I’m sorry about the anxiety and worry! Fwiw it may make you feel better to find a few scientific studies or reports on some or the big “no” foods and rules we follow in the States. There are good arguments and evidence that more people contract foodborne illness from chicken than high quality raw seafood each year in the US, for example, and that the benefits of eating tuna and other fish in moderation (Omega-3s, etc) outweigh the very slim chance of contracting something. Most countries do not agree with the outright ban on sushi, deli meats, etc as long as the source iof the food is high quality.
We tend to have pretty strict guidelines for pregnancy and babies due to a range of reasons, and as a parent you will have to evaluate what makes sense for you. (We threw the “absolutely no cosleeping ever” rule out the windoe pretty early on for a lot of personal and health reasons!). Expecting Better is a great start, and there is lots of additional evidence-based research that can help you navigate all the “rules” to find an appropriate and safe set of guidelines for you. Good luck!
I worried in my first pregnancy too. I would research stuff like this almost every night especially in the very beginning… then after 3 months I caved and started eating cured meats, runny eggs, etc. Also when I was around 8 months pregnant I’m pretty sure I had a dessert with booze in it (not encouraging this but I’m sure the amount was so minimal it wouldn’t do any damage). My daughter turned out perfectly fine.
i just found out I’m pregnant again and I’m way more relaxed this time. If something is going to go wrong, it’ll happen no matter what you eat or do.
Editing to add that I actually got food poisoning a week before my daughter was born. I was terrified and was on the phone with my family doctor and even a nurses line, but they told me it wouldn’t affect my baby and would only make me sick (which it did lol). As I said above, my daughter was fine!