(Closed) Newly Wed VENT

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Does he want to stay home this summer to focus on school?  Does he intend for this to be permanent?

Post # 5
Member
3981 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am going to sound mean when I say this but I promise it isn’t intended to be mean. I am with him though. Get a job. I don’t see any real reason not to. I see excuses. So unless there are things you aren’t telling us, yeah, I have to side with him on this one. I would be pretty pissed if I were working and going to school and finally got to enjoy a summer break and Mr. Hedgie jsut stayed home, cared for one woman and cleaned. Let him take over the house duties. Heck, this may even give him a chance to see what you have to deal with on a day to day basis!

Post # 6
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would talk to him and let him know how you feel… Communication is key (as im sure you know already) but a friendly reminder never hurt anyone.  🙂 good luck!!

Post # 7
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

There are a lot of things I’m confused about here. 

1) If you are too disabled to work, why are you not on disability? that would be a source of income, if you are truly too ill to work

2) what license? there is no such thing as a photography license. It is not an accredited or monitored profession

3) photography is a very physical and unflexible job— how are you able to be a photographer but not sit at a desk or work from home telemarketing or something?

4) did you not discuss who would work before you got married? seems like you two had different expectations coming into the marriage

Post # 8
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@CorgiTales: Disability doesn’t pay much. Maybe she is but it’s still not enough income? And I don’t know about the physicality of photography, but from knowing someone with a similar chronic condition, I know that sometimes are better than others and this makes temporary work feasible, while steady work long term would just stress the condition too much. They need a lot of downtime between jobs otherwise they end up in the hospital.

Post # 9
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

why can’t you work online, too? That way you can still stay at home w/ Grandma, and continue to earn income.

Post # 10
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@windego: i understand that temporary might be better than 40 hours/week but i don’t understand how someone with a chronic condition that has them in and out of the hospital on a regular basis could be a photographer. You book weddings a year or more out sometimes and your clients are trusting you to show up and work 6-12 hours with almost no break. You can’t fake your way through that if you feel shitty and you can’t work at all if you’re in the hospital. photography seems like a very odd choice for someone with chronic health problems is my only point. 

Post # 13
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

my thoughts are its not right to expect one person to be the sole breadwinner when that person is telling you that they need you to share the responsiblity of financially supporting the family – its not fair to expect one person to shoulder this if they dont 100% want to plus you have already had your turn at being home so maybe its now his turn

your husband is telling you that he needs more from you to be a equal partner in your family – that doesnt make him a bad guy on what little you told me.

Post # 14
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ugh that sucks.  Are you seeing a doctor to find out why you are producing so many kidney stones?  If they know the composition, they might be able to tell you what to avoid or eat in order to reduce the severity of them.

Is there some type of work that you can do at home that wouldn’t interfere with taking care of your grandma?

Really, I think the two of you need to discuss this calmly.  Is there some other type of work he can pick up during the summer?  Teachers must be able to get temporary work during the off times of the year.

Post # 15
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@CorgiTales: I understand what you’re saying. I think it’s risky too, but I can see how it might work for the individual because you are your own boss, and people hire you months in advance so you have plenty of forewarning. My friends condition doesn’t usually flare up overnight, he can tell when he’s starting to run down and might need to go get checked out. They usually put him on meds and if that doesn’t help, he’ll go into the hospital for a week for the heavy duty stuff. Some days, he can just push through it to get whatever needs doing done. Since photography contracts are usually 1 or 2 day engagements, I can see how it might work out. Especially if you know some people who’d be willing to cover you on occasions where you absolutely can’t be there.

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