Post # 1
Anyone else experienced some post-wedding blues? I’m just having a “bleh” night, and am looking for some company… lol.
Get married last week. Awesome day. Married to my soulmate.
But since then, I’ve been struggling. I’ve been working fulltime since the wedding so I only get evenings off. In every evening, I’ve gone over to my hubby’s parents house to visit with Out of Town relatives. I understand that we rarely get to see them, but I silently still wished we had some alone time. They left yesterday, so I was looking forward to settlingly into our new place as newlyweds. However, leaving work, I got a text that hubby was at his parent’s house for supper. Went over there. After supper we went back to our place, only to have his parents come with us, eventually they left. However, by then, his cousin had shown up and since then they have been playing video games. I’ve since hid out in the bedroom since I’m bored of watching them hang out.
I feel so bad for having expectations about what it would be like to be newlyweds. I know the logical and right thing to do is to talk to Hubby about it. However, its hard to do when I’m clearly wanting to hang out with him, more than he wants to hang out with me. Bleh… wish my friends would answer there phones… 🙁
Post # 3
Maybe it would help to plan a special date night for you and your husband? Get all dolled up and go out together, just the two of you.
Post # 4
Sounds like you aren’t communicating very well with your new husband. He can’t know you want alone time to decompress with him if you don’t tell him. Marriage = communication. No better time than now to start.
Post # 5
@skipper2010: That’s a great idea!
OP like you said, he’s not going to know unless you tell him. That being said, I honestly don’t feel like there was much of a difference between pre and post wedding for us since we lived together beforehand. I think it’s easy to fall into a routine together, so it’s up to the both of you to work together to keep things fun and new. Talk to your Darling Husband, tell him you want some downtime for just the two of you, no parents, no cousins, no phones, no video games. Just you guys and whatever makes you happy. Don’t think that he doesn’t want the same thing, guys can just be dense and not realize that just being in the same room together with a bunch of other people present isn’t “quality time”. I seriously had to explain that to my Darling Husband.
Post # 6
One thing our pastor told us again and again through our marriage counseling and even in our ceremony was to never stop dating. That could mean a special night out or even a special night in. But you’re right–as newlyweds, you guys need some quality time together. Guys don’t always get the whole “quality time” thing, so you should let him know how you’re feeling. And don’t be too down on the whole married life thing yet! Congrats! 🙂
Post # 7
Hey thanks. Doing a lot better now. I eventually got off my moody butt and did the mature thing and just talked to the hubby.
Expectations are tricky. I wanted us to feel all newlywed-y. Cuz we did even technically wait to move in together. But its just us. Same as before. We’ve always been a couple who struggled to do the date night thing. But maybe its worth bringing back.
Post # 8
@MissShork: We’re really bad about designated date nights too, and then sticking to them and having Darling Husband turn off his phone for the night. I find we sort of have to get to a point of me having a near meltdown before we do one. It’s easy to let it slip through the cracks, don’t worry.
Post # 9
@bakerella: Thanks for the support. 🙂
Post # 10
@MissShork: I’m all over the post-wedding blues. Mainly because I thought I’d have a job by now… and I don’t. I keep getting the run around and it’s just depressing. He goes to work everyday and works extremely hard. While I sleep in (9am), take care of our dog and other errands, clean the house, and then lounge on the couch. I feel so bad for not bringing in any income. But it’s also hard for me not to get annoyed when he leaves the house a mess. Yea, I have nothing better to do, but he still can help by not leaving trash around the house. Anyway, yea I have the blues currently. It’s fun on the weekends though when we can actually spend time together 🙂
Post # 11
A wedding is a big thing, a stressful thing, and it takes a lot of energy. I think it’s totally natural that you’d want some down time with just you and your husband afterward to relax and unwind and start to recoup the energy you’ve been pouring into the wedding.
It may be that he just doesn’t reralize you need some “down time” right now. Or it may be that he’s feeling awkward, too, and not sure what he’s supposed to do so he’s filling up the space around you guys with other people. Either way, I agree with PP. You need to tell him that you need a break from the social calendar and some time alone together.
Post # 12
@MissShork:Yikes! Sounds like you need to communicate this to your new husband. You are starting your life together, it doesnt mean that you both have to leave your families forever, but you need to have alone time. Alone time is the only thing that gets couples back on the same track.
Post # 13
Honeymoon! I loved our honeymoon, it was the perfect thing ever. Consider going on a mini- moon.
Post # 14
Hey sorry. I haven’t been on weddingbees in a while. The honeymoon ended up being really what I needed. A week away in Jasper, Alberta and I feel a lot more secure now. I feel a lot less needy now and its ok that he’s seeing everyone else now that we’re back.
I think it was tough because we really didn’t get any alone time in the weeks leading up to the wedding and it really made me miss him. Obviously, communication is key, but its tricky when needs don’t always align themselves.