(Closed) Newlywed Bridesmaid Dilema

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Seriuosly it’s one night without your husband. You should either have him drive up on Sat. or get a hotel room/stay with a friend. Its your friends last night as a single girl it sounds she needs you to be there for her.

Post # 4
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee

Her request for a girls-only doesn’t sound bad to me….so, if it were me, personally, I’d hang w/ her for the girls’ night and let my husband decide whether he’d rather stay in a hotel or drive in the next day. 

Post # 5
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I think that it would be more fun to go hang out with the other Bridesmaid or Best Man – it’s only one night and absense makes the heart grow fonder. 🙂

I think maryalison’s suggestion is a good one: let your husband decide what he wants to do!

Post # 6
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I don’t think it’s a big deal to be without him for one night.  It sounds like she just wants a girls night on the night before the wedding.  I was considering doing the same thing.

Post # 7
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

What would you prefer to do, if you can’t have both?  I don’t think your friend is being particularly rude, but in the end, it doesn’t matter- you still have to choose =)

 I don’t think it’s fair to make your husband choose.  See how much he cares about going/staying alone/etc, but the end decision should be yours.  If you make him pick, he might feel pressured and worry that you’ll resent him for his choice (I would!). 

Would you rather have your husband with you that night and at the wedding, or would you rather spend time with your friend?  I don’t think either choice is better than the other- there are arguments for and against both.  Here’s how I see it:

Spend the night with friend + girls:

PRO: you’ll have a good time with friends, it’s her last night as a single girl

CON: husband will be stuck with long drive alone, hotel room alone, or won’t come; you’ll have plenty of other opportunities to hang out with your friend, no reason that should end because she’s married

Stay with husband:

PRO: you’ll have him with you at the wedding (will you spend much time with him, or will you be with the rest of the bridal party?), he won’t have to drive alone or stay at a hotel alone

CON: friend will probably be mad

 

Post # 8
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee

Just to clarify:  The idea wasn’t to get the husband to choose what Brooke86 should do….the idea was to let the husband choose what _he_ will do on his "night off," assuming she decides to stay w/ the girls.

Post # 10
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I take it that the rest of the gals are single?  If not, what are their husbands/SOs doing that night?  Maybe the guys can all get together and have an evening of fun as well.

I think that you would have a good time with your girlfriends, but some kind of enforced singles slumber party is not that cool.  If you want to spend the night that way it’s fine – but you’re right in that your husband is around for good now, and the number of invitations that purposely disinclude him need to be limited, and need to be something you both agree on.  There’s nothing wrong with camping with the girls until midnight or so, and then high-tailing it back to the hotel room to hang with your hubby.  As for having him stay in the house somewhere, that’s up to you both – but if I was him, I would probably get a hotel room, especially if it was so clear that I wasn’t welcome.

FYI, it will be funny to see how your friend’s attitude changes the next time around – once she’s married.

Post # 11
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018 - The Rivers Club

Suzanno, I think that is a great suggestion. My (will-be) Husband and I will be flying to Florida for a friend’s wedding and he will stay with her fiance while i stay with her and the ladies.

Post # 12
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 10 years ago

be a friend…your husband will still be there the next day!! I don’t think your friend’s request is rude…I’ll do the same thing and my then Darling Husband doesn’t have any issues with it! RESPECT her choice.

Post # 13
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My bachelorette party was in Seattle, which is about 3 1/2 hours from where we live – and while my fiance wasn’t invited along, my girlfriends absolutely didn’t just say he wasn’t welcome.  We were both invited to stay at one friends’ house (she is married, by the way) and my fiance spent the evening with her husband, and was quite happy about that.  It was sort of a similar thing, in that we both had to be in Seattle the next day.  Nobody would have thought (especially with gas at over $4 per gallon) of suggesting that we drive there separately, or of suggesting that he sit in a hotel room by himself.  So yes, I do think Brooke86’s friend is being rude – not in the idea of wanting a girls’ night before the wedding, but certainly in the way in which she is failing to make any accomodation for her good friend’s spouse.

The topic ‘Newlywed Bridesmaid Dilema’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors