(Closed) Newlywed forgot to plan honeymoon

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 16
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

Here’s what I would do:

Find the nearest fancy hotel and park yourself at the bar. Eye up a lonely businessman. Go up to his room for fabulous anonymous sex. While he’s sleeping grab his wallet and find your dope husband. Cue montage of a wild spending spree. Add in lots of wardrobe-changing silliness. Bonus points for dramatic hats. Bam, sirens and flashing lights. Get chased by the cops. Hold hands and look deeply in each others eyes while your car careens off a cliff. Dramatic explosion at bottom of ravine. End scene.

Post # 17
Member
2341 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

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newbride69 :  This is very bizarre, if it’s real.

If you only have $87 to your name, you don’t get a honeymoon. Go home, work, save money, take a honeymoon when you can afford it. How is this even a question

Post # 18
Member
1496 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

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cherryberrypie :  yeah it makes no sense to spend all of your money on a wedding and not even have enough to buy gas. Nevermind the honeymoon…bigger issues here.

Post # 19
Member
2883 posts
Sugar bee

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newbride69 :  I understand that you’re trying to salvage your new husband’s mistake. But you can’t – not with $87. For someone to wait until the morning after your wedding to tell you that he’s lied for months and never booked, planned, or paid for anything for your honeymoon is a huge case of delusion, and shows that your communication is not where it should be. Then, for him to refuse the solution you offered, camping, shows that he’s not willing to put aside his personal preferences to fix his mistake. All of this leads me to believe that you have way bigger issues than no honeymoon. You need to go home.  Get counseling. And set aside money for a honeymoon that you plan for later. This time is already ruined and will always be overshadowed by his lies. It’s better to work on fixing things so that you can take a honeymoon you’ll enjoy later. 

Post # 20
Member
4370 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

Go home bee. Wait until you’ve cooled down a bit and then discuss your communication issues with your husband. Him lying to you about having the plans under control is unacceptable. You trusted him with something important and not only did he just NOT do it, he lied to you about it. Talk about leaving you in the dark! That must be a really awful feeling, I’m so sorry OP!

Post # 21
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

 

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newbride69 :  Even if your husband was ‘planning the honeymoon’ wouldn’t you both discuss a budget, how much to allocate to a honeymoon vs the wedding etc? Seems odd that you only have $87 and seemingly didn’t discuss anything relating to a honeymoon whatsoever. I agree with all the PPs, go home and have some frank talks with your new husband.

Post # 22
Member
3116 posts
Sugar bee

Go home.

Have a very serious and blunt conversation with your new husband about the fact he lied to you about planning a honeymoon.

Have another very serious conversation with your husband about the fact that you both need to focus on financial responsibility and make better choices, as you mention after paying for the wedding you have less than $100 to your name.  

Do not take a honeymoon until you have worked together to develop a budget, a savings plan, and have saved up an emergency fund.

Post # 23
Member
448 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

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lifeisbeeutiful :  It has to be! 

Post # 24
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2022 - Maui

I smell annulment

Post # 25
Member
9443 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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newbride69 :  he didn’t “forget” he chose not to plan anything. And who can really blame him when you only have $87?! He shouldn’t have lied about it, but you can’t afford it. You can barely cover a week’s worth of groceries let alone a honeymoon. Go home and read some personal finance books from the library for your honeymoon. 

Post # 26
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

In the off chance that this is real, I’d get that marriage annulled.  Routinely lying to you about a significant event over a significant amount of time is a character problem, not a money problem.

  And the fact that he waited until you were legally wed to tell you he’s been lying?  All of that is a nope.  You could have saved money on the wedding, eloped, done a lot of different things to make both the wedding and honeymoon come to fruition.  Or you could have decided together to skip the honeymoon.  He’s a liar and he’s made a fool of himself (and you). 

I’d take the $87.50, kick his ass out of the car and head home to plan starting over. 

Maybe other bees think a fiance lying to you repeatedly and only coming clean at the very last second is allowable/ forgivable. I do not.  

Post # 27
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

*wary 

…there are more, but this is arguably the most important. 

 

Post # 28
Member
1127 posts
Bumble bee

What the heck? Don’t be angry at him because “women are normally the ones taking charge?” How did you get these messed up gender views? You SHOULD be furious at a partner who lied to you about what they were doing. And men and women should each do their fair share of work, including planning labor. 

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sparklyglitterbee :

Post # 29
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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aoifeo :  this is the best response EVER!!! Thank you! I needed that on this long dragging ass Friday. 

Post # 30
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee

Did you ever even ask where you were staying? This is so odd. Was the honeymoon supposed to be a surprise? I would never go on a trip without knowing what the details were ahead of time.

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