(Closed) Newlywed friend had a baby, and other interesting waiting developments

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Ahh! I love moments like this!! My bf and I were filling our papers to make an offer on a house the other day and we got to the marital status part and he said can I put soon? Joking but still it was sweet and gave me butterflies! πŸ™‚ I hope it happens for both of us soon! 

Post # 4
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@Creiddylad:  hmmm, grad school and getting engaged are not mutually exclusive. ..

Regarding your friend, sometimes people meet and click and truely *know* right away. Sounds like that is what happened for her..

Others like yourself and your bf sometimes take longer…hopefully it will happen eventually. Smile



Post # 6
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Creiddylad:  I’ve been with my SO for going on 8 years this December…. and waiting can be hard espeically when your in school (I am also). All of our friends &/or relatives that have recently gotten engaged or married have been dating less time then us and some are either pregnant or have one or two kids already so I totally get how your feeling. Sometimes people know but like to take their time and some like to dive right in as soon as they feel like they “know” it’s what works from the couple. I love when my SO gets like that to he refuses to call me has Girlfriend anymore lol and he has other people calling me “wife” also. I try to focus on moments like that during the waiting time instead of “OMG why is it takign sooooooooo long!!” lol Your creating a better life for you your future husband and children finishing up your schooling and will be complete with all of your goals before having to worry about the needs of others.

Post # 7
9682 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Creiddylad:  Can I ask how old you are, ma’am? I’m starting to think we are around the same age. I certainly got engaged fast (within 3 months) and legally married fast (within the first year) but we still haven’t had our official ceremony (that is next year). And we still don’t have kids. All of our friends either have kids or are trying to. I always thought I’d be a young mom and now I’m pretty sure I will be an old one, lol.

It’s hard when friends move into different life stages ahead of you. It isn’t that you aren’t happy for them, it is just that it serves as a reminder about where you’re at in life and where you want to be. What I try and do is focus on the things I have that they don’t (very mature, right?). Sure, they are having babies but I own multiple properties; I have more money than they do; and when I do have a child, I will be able to give him/her whatever they want rather than just squeeking by.

There is always a positive for every negative, you just have to look really hard to find it sometimes.

Post # 8
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

@Creiddylad:  I know its hard but you cannot compare yourself to others or you WILL feel behind in life πŸ™

I had one goal when it came to marriage-be married with kids by 30.  I’ve talked about it before lol.  I’m 30 and not even engaged and it used to be sooo rough making it harder that I will have to accept there won’t be an engagement for a year or more πŸ™

I have to put up a mental stop sign and say NO NO NO  I will NOT let myself get in this mindset.  My life is awesome, my SO is awesome!!  And you need to apply that mentality to your life too!  In the siu blog you also mentioned that it’ll likely happen around april…that is soooo close!!!!!  You will be married too, you are not behind in life, if anything you have a more enriching life because you are going to graduate school!!!!  Hnag in there!

Post # 10
2037 posts
Buzzing bee

@Creiddylad:  +1

I’m impatient too!  AND I REALLY WANT TO BE MARRIED ALREADY hahahaha!!!!!  It’s the reason I stumbled upon this blog haha!

Post # 11
9682 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Creiddylad:  I recently turned 26 as well.

I agree with what you said and I don’t (as usual). I dated my ex for nearly 10 years. We were engaged, but never married. I knew him inside and out. That didn’t make us right for each other. I dated my husband for 3 months before we go engaged. Did I know every little thing about him? No. However, I enjoy the journey of continuous discovery. As long as the “big things” match up then the rest is just details.

That’s just my own frame of reference though. When you know, you know. Spending years dating is not always a good thing (at least in my experience). I am so happy that my husband was excited about our next phase of life and that he was so committed right off the bat. Was it fast? Yes. Did I ever think I would do something like that? No. However, I often find I make the best decisions outside of my own comfort zone πŸ™‚

Post # 12
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Agree with @MrsPanda99: sometimes you just know.

I knew pretty quick with Mr TTR (matter of weeks)… and he the same

BUT because we were both Encores, and had suffered greatly in the past with our Divorces, we were very very gun shy of marriage

It took us literally 6+ years to convince “ourselves” (that little inner conscience) inside that it was ok to TRUST in that huge way again

I know I was overcome with LOVE for him many many times… and then I’d try to somehow have “my head” talk my heart out of it

“Seriously hon, you hardly know the boy.  I mean look what all this talk of Love & Marriage got you the last time… nothing but heartache, misery and grief.  What makes you think this time will be any different.  Maybe you should break up with him, and go back to just being you… the single you”

Lol, of course THAT never happened.  Somehow I stayed the course, as did he.  We say now it was because we were just sooo dang good for each other, that it was hard to be apart.  He’s the only guy I’ve ever met who could make a boring plain jane day something to long for.  I mean seriously we are together almost 24/7… and we never get sick of each other.  We just plain love being together.  And we may have wee disagreements & tiffs now and then… mostly about how “set in our ways” each of us tend to be in our 5th & 6th Decades of life.  BUT WE TRULY NEVER FIGHT !!

I’ve clearly come to realize that there will NEVER EVER be another man in my life like Mr TTR, so I am bound and determined to make the best of the time we have together.

And time is a precious commodity at our age.



Post # 15
2478 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m a “when you know, you know” case. We knew we were going to get married before we were six months into the relationship, although we didn’t get engaged until we were together 11 months. I know a lot of people who are in serious relaitonships and have been together way longer than us and they aren’t engaged yet. I hope they don’t judge me and think I’m rushing into things. Anyway, good luck to you.

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