Post # 1
So lately I have been thinking a lot about the stuff after the day we all freak out about – marriage! We all spend a lot of time and energy on the big day (myself completely and totally included) but with my bachelorette last weekend and 10 hours in the car (to/from Chicago for it) I was able to spend some time thinking about what I want to be as a newlywed – what I think makes a good wife!
Obviously there are all the relationship things that go into being a good wife but I do feel we have a lock on that! Its kind of the household stuff I have been thinking about! I have come up with some “goals” and “tasks” that I want to be better at to be a good wife! They are:
1) Sunday (since I wont have wedding DIY stuff) I want to make this Laundry and Family dinner day! I need to get into a habit of doing the household Laundry on the same day every week and not letting the hampers get full and over full!
2) Sunday dinner! I want to (and have said so for a while) have a designated family dinner day – all welcome! I think it would be a great tradition to start and with football season coming up I think we could get some quality family time out of this! Besides – who does love big chicken or pasta dinners on a cool fall day?
3) Cooking more! I used to be SO good about cooking 3-4 meals a week. I’d like to set a starter goal at 3 meals a week and a baked item each week!
4) Establishing our joint budget, setting realistic goals and helping us attain them!
5) Planning out our 2012 with some nice weekend trips for us! With my Fiance in Law School from 2007-2010 we only now are getting financially stable enough that we can start taking some mini vaations and exploring thr country together!
What about all you other soon to be newlyweds or newlyweds…do you or did you have newlywedded goals?! What were they? If you are soon to be a newlywed what are you going to do to attain them?
Post # 3
I’d like to take culinary classes. I can cook alright, but it always is the same old thing and nothing is ever GREAT to me. So I’d like to learn more.
I too, need to have a dedicated laundry day lol.
We want to start our businesses very soon after getting married. That is the most important to us.
When we get a house I’d like to host a holiday at our place. We always have to make the rounds to all the relatives each and every holiday, it would be nice to have one at home.
We REALLY want a dog or two. It’s kind of pathetic how much we want a dog lol! We seriously go to this dog park/lake at least once a week and watch people play with their dogs.
There’s more but I can’t think of them at the moment.
Post # 4
Wow you two are domestic divas! I’m not really big on cleaning at all!
I’m hoping I get more into nesting once we get a house again.
Post # 5
What a great idea!!! 🙂 We were together for a long time before we got married so we went through a lot of this stuff but everything changes, all the time. We went from me being a student w/a part time job to him being a student and me having the full-time job, back to back semesters. So we’ve had a LOT of learning to do, all over again!
a) I’ll designate nights to do different chores and watch less t.v. (it’s pathetic how much I watch!)
b) I’ll know when Darling Husband has tests and try to make sure he has a good meal the night before 🙂
c) I’ll try to stop obsessing over TTC…we have plenty of time.
d) Clean out the closests in the spare bedroom and the office (truth: so we can prepare for a nursery) 🙂
Post # 6
Darling Husband and are are working on eating healthier and doing a better job avoiding snacking and going overboard with portions.
We want to put more money toward our payments.
We want to renovate the basement, we have a lot of planning to do along with budget for that.
Most of all, we hope to get pregnant really soon. That is our main goal.
Post # 7
@MapleBecky: Ah! We’re trying to re do our basement too! It is such a wreck. 🙁 It just seems hard to justify when there are so many other things we’d rather pay off before spending more out of pocket…
Post # 8
I’d love to actually decorate for the holidays for a change. We are never at our apartment for Christmas, so we always say “eh, what’s the point”. But then I’m sad because it never looks festive.
Also, I would really love to buy my own sewing machine and learn how to make at least some basic things. i made our napkins for the wedding, but I’d like to make some fun things like a tablecloth or blankets and such.
Post # 9
I have many goals – even have several of them written at the back of my planner to read every day.
- get our photo album and parents’ albums done
- complete cross-stitches for the two expecting ladies in my circle
- organize our 2nd bedroom and most of the apt 😛
- save up to buy a newer car for me, pay off student loans, and start toward a down payment
- travel! we never, ever, travelled while dating – we were always saving toward the wedding. I want to mini-trips around the country and a couple nice longer vacations to St. Lucia and the U.K.
- be more domestic – especially with cooking 😛
- go out and be more social – we’ve both somewhat recently moved to the area and have been TERRIBLE at making friends/going out. Darling Husband actually went and played basketball tonight – first time since he moved here in Dec. that he’s gone out on his own. And they want to play volleyball next week and I’m invited! yay!
That’s enough for now, lol. Back to thank-yous and cross-stitching….
Post # 10
I second the decorating – we didn’t do that last year either – Darling Husband was graduating/moving in with me and we were only really going to be at our apartment for about 4 days around Christmas and I was the same way – what’s the point. I want to be all holiday-ish this year! Maybe even have candy for the kiddies at Halloween 😛
Post # 11
We just had a whirlwind year and I knew it would be crazy going into it, but I thought once we hit August things were going to settle down. Uh, no. its kicking back up again at 100mph! Just to give you a taste, in the last year we:
- Got Darling Husband through the Maryland bar exam (passed, yay!)
- Moved him cross-country from DC to CA where I attended law school.
- Got engaged at the beginning of my last year of law school.
- I went to law school full-time while also teaching undergrads.
- Got Darling Husband through the CA bar exam in Feb (passed, yay!)
- Planned a wedding in 6 months and got married in March over my spring break.
- Moved to our first place together in April.
- Graduated from law school in May.
- Spent June and July studying and preparing for the CA bar exam. (Yes, if you’re keeping track, that’s 3 bar exams between the two of us in ONE YEAR).
- This month we started DH’s private law practice and signed his first big client.
- I start my new job on Tuesday.
Um. I’m tired just thinking about all that! Now after 5 months of marriage, just when I thought things would settle down, we’ve set new goals that are going to make things just as crazy! Most of our goals right now are financially related. Since our last “family budget meeting” we’ve agreed to:
- Pay our major bills (rent, gas, utilities) on DH’s income and pay as much of his law school loans as we can on whatever is leftover. (We live in a cheap apartment and don’t have any car payments, so this is almost doable for now).
- Darling Husband might take a 2nd job as a lecturer with a local college once a week, as well as a 3rd gig with the federal government that wouldn’t conflict with his law practice. It would be a lot of hours, but it may be worth it for a year or two while we try to get our ducks in row before having kids.
- We’re going to use my income for health insurance, extra household expenses, and to pay off my credit card (which should be done by November).
- Save up money for holiday travel and Christmas presents (surprise, now you have TWO families you need to visit and buy presents for! Not to mention birthdays, Mother’s/Father’s days, etc.)
- Then beginning in 2012, all my income will go into savings for a down payment on a house. We definitely want to put down at least 10% on a 15-year mortgage, but hopefully we can have a bigger downpayment than that if we wait until the end of the year to buy.
- We’re planning on getting a dog soon – maybe beginning of 2012? I’d prefer a puppy, but that’s going to be so much work! Maybe we’ll get something a little older…
- We’re also looking at TTC sometime next year as well (eek!) so getting that house would be awesome.
- We were thinking about replacing my car with a small SUV, but now I think we may just put some work in it and just drive it for a few more years. Its got really low mileage and no major problems. Its just that its a small sedan and not family friendly. DH may just switch cars with me (even though he loves his big Jeep) when we have kids and suck it up until we pay off more student loans.
- We’re leading a couple’s small group at our church starting in September, which means preparing a weekly Bible study every Sunday.
- Once our household budget allows for more extras, we’re going to get a regular housecleaner. For now, Darling Husband does dishes, laundry, garbage, recycling, and vacuuming. I do all the shopping, cooking, and bathroom cleaning. (Yep, Darling Husband does more around the house than I do!)
- I mostly cook all of our meals, although we eat out about twice a week, so that’s pretty good. Now I’m just looking to focus more time and effort into preparing really nutritious food to keep us healthy and to prepare myself for pregnancy.
- We also want to get a bit more in shape. We like swimming or taking walks together in the evenings, but its been awfully hot lately! We should probably start going to the gym once the weather gets colder (it rains here all winter).
- Start slowly hoarding baby stuff as we find good deals. We’re not TTC yet, but its never too early for bargains!
- Our lease is up in April, so we’ll have to decide if we want to move to a bigger place or stay until we buy a house (it will probably depend on if I’m pregnant or not).
I told my mom how overwhelmed I felt by how much my life has been changing in the last year and that it just feels like GOGOGO all the time and she said “Get used to it, it never stops! In fact once you have kids, its exponential!”
Post # 12
@Ginger123: ahh, just reading your list made my head spin.
As far as married things, we struggle with keeping the apartment clean since we both work pretty long hours and like to enjoy the weekends out of our apt. particuarly in the summer when there are so many BBQs and things going on. We are considering gettign a cleaning service to help. Some other things we are working on with moderate success:
- eating in/eating healthy dinners
- spending time together doing nothing (this si harder than it sounds)
- traveling together
- building relationships with each others friends/colleagues
- supporting each others careers
- being financially responsible via investments and purchases
As far as major goals like buying a house or startign a family, we’ve decided to focus on careers for the next 3 years and then focus on setteling down. This gives us time to save up for a house as well as to enjoy traveling. We’re already planning a trip to South Africa next year and I’d love to get to Thailand and Hawaii in the upcoming years too.
Post # 13
@Ginger123:Wow I feel your pain! FI graduated law school May 2010 and getting him through the Bar was very difficult! Those 3 months of waiting were the worst of my life! I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!
@6598731ssfse3: OH I want to take cooking classes too! I love to be in the kitchen, I am a great baker but need to work on cooking! Williams Sonoma offers free “classes” and there are lots around the holidays. Also, I just found that Sur la Table has classes where you cook a 4 course meal, I think I am going to do a couple of these with my mom as her Christmas gift! They aren’t super cheap but the food looks amazing and some of them come with freebies!
As for the Holidays I totally agree. I hate going from place to place! I had Christmas Eve last year but it was pretty hodge podge! I am having Christmas day this year and SO excited! I love opening my house up to everyone and having a big mix of people!
@slicey19: FI was in law school for much of our 5 years of dating so we never really traveled together! I am trying to plan some smaller (weekend trips) for next year while we save up for a big trip to Europe in 2013! So far I have Chicago, Toronto, Naples (free condo!) and Madison on our list of places to go – all budget minded!
Fiance and I have lived together for a while but only in our house for 8 months! I’d really like to develop some strong positive habits as I make the transition from gf to wifey! I actually love the whole homemaking side of it! I have loved decorating our house and hope to be able to work on my next two projects (our master bedroom and our guest bathroom remodel) after the wedding with all my free time! I told Fiance last night that I have some “goals” for my behavior post wedding and discussed them with him – he said he had a few too so we are going to work on a system to stay accountable for these things we’d like to do! 🙂
I am super nervous about when the itch is going to start and all of this is going to get derailed by my desire for kids! I am good right now – no real want in the short term but I know as more and more people start having them I will totally cave and need them right then! 🙂
Post # 14
@jboltz19: I see Madison is on your list of weekend trips – that’s where I live currently 🙂 Feel free to PM me anytime if you are looking for things to do in the area 🙂