Post # 1
I am new here but did lurk a little bit during my wedding planning process. Now that it is over, I have time to be on the computer :). Anyway, I have seen how helpful you all are and was hoping to get some advice/moral support.
My husband and I are enjoying every minute of being newlyweds and have had a lot of fun celebrating with friends recently. Last night, we were at my long time friend’s house having a few drinks. Her new roommate (they are both single) has been hanging out with us recently because we are with my friend pretty often (my BFF is wonderful). So, this roommate has made multiple comments to my husband about how she is a virgin and she likes to fool around with women. That alone was bad enough. Well, last night she came running up to me to tell me that she was outside “humping” my husband. This was not the first time she has touched him inappropriately. She was very proud of this. I immediately took her aside and told her my feelings without flying off the handle. It did not go very well.
My problem is that I don’t know how to handle it from here on out. We are never going to their house again but I am worried about alienating my best friend because I don’t want to be around this chick. They are together all the time. My husband handled everything beautifully and I am in no way angry with him. It was 100% her trying to get a rise out of me. I guess I know the answer to what I should do about it but I just needed to vent. Am I overreacting?
Post # 3
@jambee: Did your husband remain outside after she came running in to you?
I agree that it’s best to not go over there anymore. How has your best friend handled it? Has she said anything to her roommate? I don’t think you’re overreacting; that’s rude and really weird.
Post # 3
@jambee: I don’t think you are overacting at all, she sounds very immature and needy.
What does your friend think of this behavior? Does she see it too?
Post # 4
No matter how great your bff is, you need to protect your home and family first. Your bff should support this. If she doesn’t, it’s a hard but necessary sacrifice, IMO.
Post # 5
I think since you pulled her aside and told her how you feel without flipping out that you were very mature about the situation. I’m not sure I would have been able to stay as calm! Doesn’t you best friend realize her roommates actions are going to make your friendship awkward now? She must. With that being said, try to spend time with her at your house, where her roommate is not welcome. Tell her how you feel when her roommate acts like this, and that you don’t want your friendship to be different but you can’t be happy around her. Hopefully she understands how you feel.
Post # 6
That is not okay to me, in no way shape or form. This woman obviously isn’t mature, what mature woman humps a married man? No other woman shoul hump your husband. That’s very out of line. & To me, she seems to know this as you said she is trying to get a rise out of you. Your husband comes first & if your friend doesn’t want to help by supporting you for not coming around her house anymore or by atleast saying something to this roommate, maybe its best to distance yourself. It seems like you said your peace to this roommate & done all you can do. Stay away from this woman & make lunch dates with your friend to keep in contact. Or invite HER over to your house, not the roommate.
Post # 7
Thank you guys for reading and being helpful. My husband remained outside for a few minutes after she came in and told me she was humping him. He was talking to his brother who was with us. My friend is understanding but I don’t think she understands exactly how upsetting/annoying this was. My husband and my brother in law both said that the girl is exaggerating but they were completely understanding about how mad I was. Either way, the fact that she ran in to tell me is all I need to know that she wanted me to be jealous. Honestly, I feel like it was a personal attack on me more than anything to do with my husband. You girls are right, we are definitely going to be having Saturday night drinks at OUR house from now on, with no invite to the roommate.
Post # 8
How strange. And I totally agree with your assesment, it sounds like she was trying to get a rise out of you.
She sounds very needy for attention, and doesn’t care if that attention is negative.
How did she respond when you pulled her aside? Did she apologize, laugh it off or what?
You handled it a lot better then I would have. I probably would have made some smart ass remark about how I was going home to really show him a good time while she would be sleeping alone in her virgin bed. Then walked out the door and asked my husband if he was ready for some real humping at home and left.
As far as your friend…does she see this girls strange behavior? If she has witnessed it, I’m sure she can understand why it makes you uncomfortable. It sounds as though she hasn’t grown up yet and doesn’t really understand how to act around boys 🙂
Post # 9
This is so immature. I don’t even know what I would say to her! I’m honestly surprised it’s not some kind of joke and she seriously humped him…wth.
I wouldn’t see her anymore for sure. She just wants attention.
Post # 10
Agreed that she just wants attention. Your DH sounds like he handled it maturely. Sorry you were in this awkward predicament!
Post # 11
If your BFF is amazing as you say she is, I don’t think she should mind you avoiding her roommate at all costs now. Have drinks at your place, go out to dinner, to see a movie, doesn’t matter, but your friend should understand that her roommate crossed a line and that is reason enough for you to avoid placing yourself and your husband in an uncomfortable position.
Post # 12
Not trying to change the subject, but has anyone else noticed that it still says jambee has only made one post when she’s posted twice in this thread alone? Her post count should be increasing.
Post # 13
Still trying to figure this all out, maybe I’m doing something wrong?
When I “talked” to her, she cried and begged for forgiveness but I was not having it. I was very, very stern. I’m settling down a little bit now, it felt really good to write it out though.
Post # 14
How are you not mad a your husband for tolerating this!!!!???
Post # 15
While she was “humping” him…did your husband just stand there? I’m confused.