- 11 years ago
I hope someone can give me some input, because I’m not sure what to do.
My main question is: How are your husbands when it comes to spending time together after being married?
A little background info. We’ve been married for about six months. We’re living with my parents because we can’t afford our own house yet. I know, what some of you may say, trouble right there, but let me go on. We have our own bedroom and bathroom and my parents’ basement is sort of consdered our own living room. My parents also work A LOT, so most of the week they’re not home in the evenings. The extra factor is my 90year old grandma who also lives there, but keeps to herself and goes to bed superearly. My husband gets along with them and he actually has it easier, because I’m still treated like the child sometimes and he gets to do his own thing.
So we have quite a bit of time and space to ourselves, not perfect, but not bad. The sad thing is though, that my hubby has no problem going out without me multiple times during the week, or sometimes even the weekend. Less than one week after the wedding, his single male friends were having a birthday dinner for some acquaintance, and he just couldn’t wait to go. We fought and he stayed home, but it sucked. A few weeks ago I had a lot of school work (I’m doing a part-time degree), so I had to spent most of the evenings at home. He went out on the Monday to an event we were both invited to but I couldn’t make it, then he went out the next night for a steak dinner with his male colleagues. I had class that night, so that was somewhat ok, but he got home later than I did from night school. The kicker, was the Friday night – he wanted to go to a movie night organized by his male and female colleagues, where spouses were not not welcome. His work often does this – organizes events where the significant others are not invited. This was also the case a couple of times before the wedding, where they went to a restaurant after work and stayed out until 11pm. Also, one week before the wedding, where he went to a work party and spent the night there because he was too inebriated to come home. The women supposedly went home. I almost called off the wedding because of it, but he apologized and cried, and so we married. Next week, he’s going to a baby shower for one of the girls at his work, on a Sunday afternoon. All the women from his work are going, and a few of the guys who are friends with the pregnant girl, again without spouses, to keep male company to the husband organizing the shower. When I question him about his going out he said at one point, that I often object to his going out (before the wedding he went out A LOT in the evenings with his male friends, so I do frown about most of these “guy” outings) and that he sometimes feels like he’s in prison. As for the work thing “it’s no big deal, you’re such a drama queen.”
Am I in the wrong here?