Post # 1
My husband and I got married 6 weeks ago (yay!) and we have been loving married life. My only problem- I NEVER want to hang out with friends anymore. After work, a friend will often try and get dinner or do something. I just have no desire to meet, and when I force myself to plan something, I dread it the whole day! We have fun when we hang out but I count down the minutes until I can go home. Is this normal?! Most of my friends are single and are very demanding of my time- if I let them, we would hang out every day.
Is it weird to just want to be home with my hubby? I love my friends, how can I get past this? Is this just a season most married people go through?
Post # 2
That sounds depressing.
Just because I get married doesn’t mean I’m a totally different person who doesn’t want to hang out with my friends. Sorry you feel that way?
Post # 3
If you dread plans with your friends it’s probably time for new friends.
Post # 4
This doesn’t sound normal. I can’t imagine not wanting to spend time with my friends. I really don’t have any advice to offer than to say no, I don’t think its normal or usual for most people.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill
Did you live together before marriage? It sounds like you could just be excited about your new life with your man and settling in. Trust me it will change!
I felt a bit distant from my girlfriends when Fiance and I moved in together at first. We were figuring out our routine and since he moved from his city to mine, I felt bad leaving him all alone at first. But now we both just make plans with friends whenever we want too. I can’t say I didn’t want to see my friends at all, it was more that my life slowed down (less partying etc). and I found myself enjoying staying home more often.
I think if this lasts a long time, there may be something else going on.
Post # 6
I don’t know if it’s weird-what is weird is subjective. I sure don’t think it’s depressing. You’re a newlywed, with less than two months under your belt. Seems pretty good that you love nesting up with your new husband right now if you ask me. Why shouldn’t you take some time focused on enjoying your new found marital bliss? Everyone should be so lucky.
Only you can tell if this is just a season and you will regain balance between your female friendships and home life with your husband. But unless you know of some red flags indicating an antisocial problem I’m sure the water will find its level again and I wouldn’t worry.
Post # 8
I’m curious to know what your relationship and friendships were like prior to marriage. Is this your first time living with your husband? I think its very important to care for and make time for friendships.
Post # 9
Thank you! This makes a lot of sense to me. I still feel like I am decompressing from the wedding and honeymoon and I think that might be it.
I’m not anti-social, I promise! 🙂
Before we got married, we never lived together. I still lived with my parents which was also a huge investment of time- I was always busy with them and working. I guess that I am just feeling like I haven’t even gotten to take a breath and re-adjust.
Thank you! I agree. I think that might be it- adjusting to a life change.
Post # 10
It’s not depressing. Once my work day is over I get so excited to go home to my hubby! It feels the opposite of depressing, actually 🙂
Truth. A few of them are much younger than me and in completely different life stages. I feel more like a mentor than a friend sometimes!
Maybe I am realizing that I am just “me” with my spouse and I feel less comfortable with friends than I used to be? I don’t know. I’m sure this will get better with time. I was just wondering mostly if anyone else ever felt this way when getting married!
Post # 11
As I get older I have grown more introverted and hanging out with people sometimes seems like a chore, especially after a long day of work (I’m a teacher so lots of social stimulation all day long). I think as you are settling into married life, it’s sweet that you are excited to spend time with your husband. My only concern would be that your friends don’t start feeling like you’ve dropped off the face of the earth so I do think you probably should continue making an effort to spend time with them (not every day, obviously). If my friend got married and suddenly stopped wanting to hang out, I’d probably be concerned about her.
Post # 12
6 weeks isn’t a whole lot of time post wedding, especially if you went on a honeymoon right away, to get used to living with your now husband and away from home for the first time. My friends that are married and myself all went through a period of time that we were a bit removed from social functions just trying to get a handle on married life, it went back to normal! I’ve been married for almost 3 years and I would say I never dread seeing my friends, and if I did at this point, I’d find some new ones 🙂
Post # 13
I don’t think it’s normal to hate seeing your friends and dread it. But I certainly don’t hang out with my friends multiple times a week. So I guess if they’re demanding multiple days a week I could see that being exhausting.
So, no, I never went through that.
Post # 14
Thank you! I also work in education and am interacting with others almost every minute. I agree- I may be becoming more introverted as well. I see your point on the other side, too, that they might be worried and frustrated. I definitely think I will make an effort and make it work out until I have that desire again, for their sake!
Post # 15
I went through this as well, but I got pregnant on my wedding night, soooo… I was pretty tired all the time for the first few months! I think you should forgive yourself for the next month if you don’t want to socialize, and re-examine the issue at that time. DH and I lived together for about 4 years before marriage and I STILL find that I’d rather just hang out at home with him than go out with friends.
That being said, sometimes if you want to keep your friendships alive, you just gotta force your butt up out of your chair!