- 2 years ago
- Wedding: August 2017
I’m back at Wedding Bee because I loved this community and the support I felt when I was planning my wedding (got married two months ago – tons of stuff went wrong but had an absolute blast and have the fondest memories of the day! We just got our pics, let me know if anyone would like to see!)
Now I’m back as a newlywed bee, hoping for some further much-needed love and support. My husband and I moved to a new country 1 week afer getting back from our honeymoon. I had a high stress, high profile (and if I may say for context, fairly well-paying) job back home, but I am unable to work in a similar position in the new place due to different licensing systems etc. We moved for my husband’s career, and it is only a 3 year contract.
I was really looking forward to the move and the break from my stressful life, thinking it would be this incredible life affirming journey of learning other skills (beside my job) and growing as a person.
Two months in, I feel really disillusioned and disappointed with myself. I am struggling with the language, I have made no friends (despite doing my best to join every possible event etc, but just finding people very “closed off” – quite friendly, but no follow ups to develop a friendship at all, and almost no expat:english speaking community), I have gained weight, and I’ve been struggling with various health issues. I just did not expect to feel so lost and lonely and like a failure.
I do get out of the house about 3 times a week for some temp work (which I hate because it feels so trivial and pointless) and obviously run errands etc, but I feel like I’m doing the bare minimum, and I’m usually a very bubbly, overachieving a-type person. Now I feel like I just sloth around and have become so boring.
My husband is extremely kind and supportive, I have no complaints there, but I hate feeling so dependent on him all of a sudden – both financially and especially emotionally. I’ve never seen myself as a needy or emotionally “unstable” or moody person, and I’m struggling with dealing with these negative feelings. I’m wondering if my husband feels disappointed in me that I can’t “hack” this adventure with him… he hasnmt said anything to this effect, but he is adapting much better than I am.
I was wondering whether anyone else experienced two such big life changes simultaneously, and even though they were good things, struggled to adapt to the new situation.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Much love to you all.