- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
This will be a long post i appologize in advance. I just feel the need to tell someone and even though i have expressed a little bit to my groom a few of my dissapointments I just dont feel like I can be honest with people and I guess at this point what does it matter ya know?
So I got married on July 25th and Honestly everything went so wrong that I feel like I didn’t even enjoy my wedding. It really makes me want to tear up just thinking about it. I know every bride is stressed but I was so stressed due to the happenings of the day that I my bridesmaids litteraly said that my back and chest and neck looked as if it was breaking out in hives during my ceremony. When I think about my wedding I can’t think about good things all I can think about is the bad. I honestly wish I could just do it all over again. Does anyone else have these sort of blues and how do you deal?
I guess i should tell you the problems of the day we experienced. So we had very much a DIY wedding and i worked so hard pouring every spare penny into paying for my wedding myself and every free minute I had working on everything and planning and crafting everything. I did most of this on my own and really was only banking on having my bridal party to really pitch in and help setup and get things ready the day of.
So here is how the day started we were to be at the venue at 10am in the morning to set up and decorate Ourselves. There were suppose to be 2 of my groomsmen (fiances brothers) my groom, my 4 bridesmaids, Me My groom my mother and one of my good friends.
It was only Me my Groom 2 Bridesmaids, my mom and my friend. So in turn with having half of our people a no show to help us set up… It took us twice as long to do it.
When we show up we were 30 chairs short of what we ordered & 1 table (we ended up getting them but it took alot of calling ) and the chairs were not set up in the way i had asked them to be … in fact they were set up so bad on the brides side they were more diagonal not even facing where the bride and groom would stand but where my bridesmaids were to be off to the side.So i had to spend half my morning rearranging my ceremony chairs.
I finally had to just leave with my 2 bridesmaids without settting up the last few details setup for the ceremony like my sand table, cake table, sweetheart table & guestbook table or my lanterns on my shepards hooks. We made the decision not to set these items up because one of his brothers was suppose to stay at the venue for the next few hours until our hostest got there because we had an outdoor location to ensure that none of our items blew away into the pond behind the venue. So we just made the decision that we would put them up when we came back to the venue to take pictures hours before our guests arrived.
As some might have read my brother in law decided not to do my food 6 days before my wedding so my mom and my sister stepped up to do it which was fine and the food turned out great but.
One of my bridesmaids still doesnt show up to my house.
The day of we were suppose to be leaving my house which is only 5 mins away from my venue at 4pm to start pictures. My mom and my Maid/Matron of Honor sister show up at my house at 330 with nothing done. No hair fixed no makup nothing. INFACT my sister had to go back to her house because she forgot her makeup brush.
SO i actually had to finish getting ready by myself so my girls could help do my sisters hair and I actually had to end up doing my moms hair and makeup.
So at 4:30 my groom texts me and asked me about leaving (he was up the hill from me on the same road and I tell him to go because we would be leaving shortly & I didnt want him to see me getting in the car and such. well at 445 they have still not left the house yet. So i make the decision after calling and texting him a bunch of times and having no reponse just to go ahead and get in the car… and of course they come down the hill at the exact moment I am in full view outside.
So at almost 5pm we make it back to the venue and are suppose to do a first look at the gazebo down from our ceremony location. We pull up in the car and all of his brothers are standing around in the gazebo and he was no where in sight. We had talked about this a million times HE was suppose to be in the gazebo waiting for me with his back turned … everyone else waiting in the cars until time for group pictures and then. It was suppose to be a special moment with me and him and the photographers. It took me like an extra 10 mintues to get the message to him to go get in the gazebo and someone to chase his brothers/ Groomsmen away which btw they moved like 5 feet from the gazebo.
So here we were over an hour late to start pictures. My ceremony was to start in less than an hour and I could not get anyone to finish setting up my tables which My bridesmaids were suppose to do and they should have had PLENTY of time to do. All it took was putting down the table cloth on 3 tables and putting the items that were sitting in a box on the tables just had to be set out on the table and some petals scattered. l So finally one of my friends went over to do it. She couldnt find everything because some stuff had been moved since we left and they kept calling me asking me where stuff was and i didnt know because it wasnt where we had left it.
So at 530 we send my bridal party back over and at 545 me and my groom head back over to the ceremony spot and this is the point where my guests were suppose to be seated and the prelude music was suppose to be played and everyone lining up to get ready to walk.
I sit in the car in the back and stressing because it is 6pm and no one is in their seats my guests are all standing around int he middle of the barn where i am suppose to come through before walking down the aisle. My mom finally has to tell everyone just to go find a seat. WHICH By The Way my groomsmen fiances brothers were suppose to seat people & they just stood there & by this he was suppose to help anyone who needed it… and only about 10 actual seats were reserved … every others open to whereever they wanted to sit.
My DJ has now played my last prelude song 4 times because no one can line up yet because my guests wont get out of the barn. I mean I realize it was hot outside but when the ceremony is planned to start at 6pm and at 6pm your standing around still not even down at the ceremony location common sense should tell you you need to go find a seat.
I had to send my groom and my Maid/Matron of Honor to get everyone where they needed to be and to make sure stuff was setup.
I am waiting and waiting and waiting and finally my Maid/Matron of Honor motions me to get out of the car and I come up in time to see that no one is lined up how we rehearsed and I have to move everyone around back to how they should be and grab my dad to practically run to get down to the aisle in time for our cue to walk.
Coming down the aisle I wasnt happy I wasnt glowing I was an emotional wreck. I literally felt like I was about to have a break down & I am pretty sure it showed on my face.
As I stood there infront of my groom I just looked into his eyes the whole time and I was somewhat relieved I could see the love in his eyes and his teary eyes kept making me teary eyed but in a good way. I had never before seen my groom tear up and show such emotion.
MY DJ WHO was playing the music for our ceremony was horrible though! THE SOUND QUALITY would have been better if we would used a karaoke machine! You could barely hear the music. She brought the wrong kind of microphone. We were suppose to have a wireless mic on a stand she brought a headset mic. There was so much screeching and noise like the mic had a short in it you couldnt hear the pastor which btw tried to fidgit around for an off switch which wasnt there after SHe didnt turn the mic off for well over 5 mintues of this. I was furious and this was the point in Girls informed me that I turned spotted and red all over my back and chest and neck.
We were handed a wireless mic to say our personalized vows and during my grooms vows she hadnt turned the sound back on where she cut it off from the other mics noise. She turned the mic back on halfway through my vows.
My grooms vows on the other hand even though not many people heard them they were short but they were perfect. I was very impressed with what he wrote because I know he struggled with knowing what to write.
The DJ started the song at the wrong time for the Sand ceremony and our sand ceremony didnt go too well either.. we had 3 of us pouring and my groom didnt end up pouring with us (he said we were crowding him out) so he instead dumped his sand in on top of mine and my daughters blended sand.
Our recessional did go just like I had hoped and people did toss the rice onto us and the music was cued perfectly. BUT (we didnt practice the recessional at rehearsal bc we ran out of time because no one was there when they should have been) but i gave simple instructions Bride and groom flower girl ring bearer then everyone else just like you came in just follow behind.WELL my wedding party didnt follow us over to the side to wait to make our entrance and take a few last minute pictures THEY walked right into where the reception was and stood around.
So when they did the grand entrance song and announced the bridal party guess what no one walked in because they were just standing around looking like WHAT!
Me & my Grooms entrance was great though and our first dance went well except for the sound quality there was times when the music would just fade off into where you could barely hear the words. We did a funny mega mix dance and everyone loved it. No one blew bubbles like they were suppose to during our first dance though.
My guys only turned the lanterns on at almost the end of the night when i commented on them not being on when they were suppopse to be turned on at the begining.
Other than a few things my decor was just like I wanted it to be .The food was great. The Snow Cones were a big hit. My candy bar was a big hit. My cake turned out just like I pictured it.
Even though one of my monogram letters went missing before reception time So instead of my cake table having aHa on it for Amanda & Andy Harless… Someone made it just say HA
Our sweetheart table wasnt setup someone had placed his grooms cake on the table & there was no petals and the candles nor the centerpiece were placed like they should have been so i tried to quickly rearrange them before they sat down.
Everything else from this point was mainly just my DJ. I gave her a very specific list of songs to play and not to play and while she didnt play any DONTS she also didnt play but maybe a few songs off my list. Even though I had given her a timeline of when to do things it was like I had to go and tell her … its time to do this… its time to do that. She played songs that just didnt make sense to play and some songs were really really loud like tooo loud and other sounds you could barely hear them. She got no one dancing my daughter and 2 of my friends were the only people dancing besides me. She didnt play any of those songs that make ppl get up and dance like the cha cha slide etc… ones people know. So everyone just started leaving.
I felt like i got to spend no time with my groom because he wouldnt mingle he wouldnt dance with me. He said he was gonna work the room but instead what he really did was stop at this one friend he hadnt seen in a while and talk to him for an hour while not saying hello to anyone else and none of my family or friends he was just meeting.
Only 3 single ladies got up for the boquet toss… there was alot more.
Only 4 married couples got up for the anniversary dance… there were alot more.
My cake lady who was paid extra to stay and serve and clean up didnt clean up all of the mess and forgot to leave us with the container she promised us to keep our top layer of cake.
My reception was suppose to last until midnight by 945 pretty much everyone was gone because there just wasnt any life to the party by my DJ to keep people wanting to stay around. Clean up wasnt suppose to be till around 11-12 my mom decided she wanted to go ahead and start and by 1020 everything was down and we were left in an empty shell of a barn.
I just feel so down about this. I just feel like I worked and worked and worked for months and planned everything so much and No one respected me enough to care about my wishes. I knew things wouldnt go perfect and I honestly was trying not to be a bridezilla and I look back on and think well maybe I should have been because honestly I feel like my Wedding party and My DJ were the cause of most of my troubles. I told my DJ at the end of the night I was very Dissapointed and that I had wished I had saved that money and just played my own playlist off my Laptop.
So has anyone else experinced this and how do you overcome it?