- 6 years ago
- Wedding: January 2013
I recently got married on January 5th of this year. Around our wedding date, one of my girlfriends from college moved 16 hrs away for a position in the unit at the hospital I have worked at for 2 years. I am happy she has finally obtained the job she has dreamed about. I let her know of the position and put in a good word for her with my nurse manager. She ended up living with my parents for several weeks until she got her own place.
My gripe is that she literally texts me every day to hang out. Or she will follow me around at work and talk me into getting dinner Afterwards. We probably hangout 2-3 times a week which is more than I’d like. I probably turn her down 5-7 times a week. She is single, she has issues with men and has told me in the recent past that I shouldn’t rush getting married and certainly not rush having children because I need time to be young…..her advice is not advice, it makes me feel guilty for wanting those things. Which are perfectly normal for a 23 year old. And I have already discussed with my husband that WHEN we are pregnant she will be the last person We tell. I feel like the fact that she has had issues with the men in her life causes her to have a lack of respect for the NEWLYWED relationship my husband and I have.
My question is, am I wrong for feeling like she is overbearing? I recognize she has moved from far away. But she has made several friends already. And I give her a few days a week of my time. I feel guilty every day for turning her down and I’m sick of it. She wants to have sleepovers and go out and dance and run errands together. We are not roommates! I am a newlywed who wants to sleep in bed with my husband in our home alone! she will talk me into sleepovers where she sleeps on the couch and i go to bed with my husband. But we want to be alone!! What she really needs is a boyfriend. I cannot figure out if she is controlling or jealous, but I am at wits end with dealing with her. She knows no boundaries. When she comes over our house she helps herself to everything from food/dishes/ my clothing!!!! ( I do not share my wardrobe with my sisters, so you can imagine how this angers me) without even asking! Part of me thinks it is jealousy, since I have found a husband and have had the job she’s dreamed of for the last few years. I recently went brunette from blonde my natural color and she never said a word about it to me. ( it looks a hundred times better) I feel like she is more critical of me and hardly ever offers compliments. I have tried ignoring her many pestering questions and suggestions but then she will be like “why have you been so out of it lately is everything okay”” or she will consistently call and say she is worried about me cause I didn’t text back. My mother NEVER even did that in my whole life!! Help!