(Closed) {Newlywed/Married Bees, advice please…}

posted 8 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - The Atlantic Beach Club

Spaniel just posted about it, but check the Better Busienss Beaureu and reviews before booking any vendor. It is extremely improtant for piece of mind.

I highly recommend a makeup trial. I was too cheap to do one and I wish I had. It wasn’t that I didn’t like my makeup, it just wasn’t me. I wanted something more bold than I usually do. The makeup artist did a great job and did exactly what I showed her. I was so happy the day of, I told her I loved it, but later I realized I really didn’t.

And don’t sweat the small stuff. A million things can go wrong on your wedding day, and most likely something will go wrong. You can’t control everything, but you can control how you react. Make sure you enjoy your wedding day, you don’t want to let any bad incidients ruin the whole day.

Post # 4
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

1) have an advocate – someone who can speak up for you and make sure things turn out they way you planned them (bride brain will get the best of you!)

2) If its in your budget, hire a photographer for your rehearsal dinner

3) Make a shot list for your photographer and discuss your desires with them before the day of the wedding!

4) Understand that something will most likely not go exactly as planned but that you probably wont care that much during that moment because you are just going to be very happy!

5) Eat, drink water, eat some more and drink some more water (especially if you are getting married outside in hot hot heat) same goes for your bridal party – make sure they are hydrated!

6) Photography – do your research and find someone who fits your style and also realize that your wedding will not look like every wedding they shot – people are different and their photos will be too even by the same photographer

7) Favors dont matter, no one will notice them so if you dont want to do them (or dont have the money) then dont worry about it!

8) A great looking cake doesnt always taste great. People will remember the TASTE of your cake more than the look (as was evident with my wedding cake!)

9) FOOD is one of the most important things – guests love to be well food and eat delicious food!

10) Hold your husbands hand, kiss him, spend a moment alone if you can and just enjoy the night!

11) Soak it all in because it only happens once!

Post # 5
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t know that I have advice to give that I wish I had received – – I received great advice and used it all up, every single parts of it.  Below are some tips that I can offer Wink

  • If family or wedding party offers to assist in the days around the wedding day – ALLOW THEM, by that time any and all assistance is greatly appreciated and you will be thankful in the end.
  • If you feel as though you’re getting overwhelmed – pull aside your Maid/Matron of Honor or mom or whomever you feel most comfortable with, share your voice, stresses, and concerns and then allow them to handle/manage/control/execute the chaos for you. It will bring you back to pleasant calm zen bride.
  • YOU CAN”T DO IT ALL ON YOUR WEDDING DAY please don’t try.  If something isn’t the way its set to be, its all good bc the new way will work just fine.
  • Remember what your vision for the day is – stay focused on that – if you stay focused on what your vision is, your day will be exactly what you hoped/wished for plus more.
  • If you run into a vendor complication – hear out the vendor. DO NOT REPLY straight away.  Absorb the issue and if you can’t figure it out, pass it off to moms, fh, or collectively work together to find the solution. Then return to the vendor. 
  • Hug – – Even if you aren’t a ‘hugger’ just hug. It will help you stay in the moment.
  • Take a time out once a day and breath, be thankful, get excited, and enjoy every moment of whats ahead.
  • HAVE FUN LaughingLaughingLaughing

I hope some of those help – they got me through my day with flying colors, LOL

Post # 6
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

  • Make sure your bustle is secure!!! Mine got ripped out and it was SO annoying
  • In that vein, make sure you have safety pins/tissues/an emergency kit packed
  • Get a videographer if it’s in your budget–I am in love with our highlights video
  • When picking a photographer, check out their pictures of wedding receptions. We got 1300 photos and most of them are great, but a lot of the reception ones are blurry/out of focus because people were dancing and there wasn’t a ton of light in  the room. So just check out your photogs reception pics and let them know of any potential issues with lighting in your reception venue
  • Make sure you have transportation from your gettiing ready location to ceremony location (if they’re not together). We had black cars to pick us up but they were late and then had no idea where they were going. It was a rather stressful few minutes!
  • DON”T let family members speak to you or your Fiance on the day of if they’re going to tell you about any problems. DH’s dad was calling him about an issue with an uninvited guest, and he really shouldn’t have been bothered about that.
  • In that vein, get a Day of coordinator! It’s a huge relief having someone there Just in Case.
  • Most of all, try not to stress too much about the details because on the day of, none of it will reeeeally matter that much (at least it didn’t to me) because YOU”RE GETTING MARRIED!! Woo hoo! 🙂

Post # 8
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@LuxeEventsNJ: One of my friends did this and I was totally jealous I didnt thnik of it! I had SO much fun at my rehearsal and there were so many great moments AND it was really gorgoues (I actually liked the decor of my Rehearsal Dinner better than my wedding!!) and there arent many good pictures of it!

Also, totally agreed with hilsy85 about the bustle – my bustle came undone while dancing and it kept getting stepped on!

Post # 9
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I had to read through this, I found it helpful!  thanks for posting.

Post # 10
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This one might be Too Much Information, but be careful what you eat and drink the few days before your wedding.  Between drinking a lot throughout the whole week and the stress of having so many people calling, texting, and looking for me, I didn’t eat much.  No food + beer = a bad combo.  I was chugging Pepto Bismol while I was getting my hair done.  Luckily, all was good by the time of the wedding, but still, that morning was miserable. 

Don’t drink beer the day of your wedding, it makes you bloated.  One of my BM’s told me that and only let me have wine while we were all getting ready. 

Eat the food at the reception.  Even if you have to tell them to leave it at your table for a while if you have to mingle and stuff.  We had the most amazing food and I got like 5 bites and all I heard for a week afterwards was how good the food was.  I wish I could have enjoyed it at least a little! 

Favors – unless they are edible, no one cares. 

Be sure to tell the DJ exactly what you want and the style of music that you like.  If he starts to veer off from what you want him to play, tell him or have someone tell him.  I told my DJ what we liked and he played music that we hated all night long and I didn’t have time to yell at him for it.  I’m still pissed about it.  The only time he played songs by people we liked were during dinner and then the songs we picked for the cake cutting, etc.  Even songs I gave him as must play songs he didn’t play.  Jerk.  Sorry, still bitter about that.  lol

I agree about the bustle, too.  But make sure whoever is doing the bustling knows how to do it.  Don’t let a Bridesmaid or Best Man that hasn’t seen it bustled before help bustle you. 

That’s all I can think of now, though I’m sure there is more. 


Post # 11
803 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I didnt regret anything about our wedding day, but i took a lot of prep to make sure of that!  here are some things i was thankful i knew:

1. hire someone.  we didnt worry about a single wedding details for about a week and a half before the wedding, and even before that, the only thing i had to work on was the place cards.  seriously, nothing.  it was so amazing to get to spend time with our families and friends without the stress of running around, last minute details, setting up, etc.  i didnt lift a finger for anything but my manicure 🙂

2. hire reliable people.  all the vendors we hired were recommended by our coordinator/designer.  they were all vendors she trused and knew well and because of that, not a single thing went wrong.  if something did have a hicup, we didnt know it at all.  part fo that was becuase we had a coordinator who took care of all that stuff.

3. dont leave his side.  my mom actually told me this and it was priceless.  the whole day, no matter what we were doing, we made an effort to stay together.  Im the social one, and i have a tendancy to wonder off to talk to people.  i was so careful to not ditch him and because of that, we spend so much great time together.

4. my designer was there was my dress was altered and made sure there were enough ties in my bustle that it wouldnt rip if someone stepped on it.

5. we were organized.  well, my event designer was.  every last detail was taken care of so far in advance. it was awesome.

6.  we made our priorities with our coordinator.  we made a list of what was most important to us and book vendors and our budget accordingly.  it made our day perfect, memorable, and wonderful for our guests. 

7.  we remembered every moment.  every part of the day.  every detail.  take your time in planning, hire someone, and be organized.  the day didnt seem to rush by at all.  when it was over, i felt like i had captured every last second. 

Post # 13
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

– I wish I would have had my makeup professionally done. It looked good, but I was shiny in the photos… hopefully they can be touched up

– Relax and don’t make a big deal out of small things that go wrong

– Make a shot list for the photographer… there are a lot of shots that we didn’t get that I wanted but didn’t think of at the time

– Make sure you have time to eat!


Post # 14
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I wish I had know that planning a wedding would be a stress on our relationship. It turned out amazing but I wish I had been less stressed.

Our photog missed pictures that we had specifically asked her to take. Put someone in charge of the photo list to make sure it is done .

Post # 15
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Clair gives great advice.  I second the ‘stay with him’ and hiring someone to be in charge.  I was basically the ‘go to’ for all the questions and cried twice the morning of the wedding b/c I was SO stressed out w. the details.  AND my husband disappeared during the reception to do shots with his boys and I cried again.  PS, it’s an emotional day 😉

Post # 16
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

The main thing I wish I did was I would have really tested my dress out.  It fit great in the fittings but it’s strapless and after about 20 mins it started falling down and all night long I was trying to hold it up.  


I second the try to stay together.  It’s hard because so much was going on and I found myself forgetting my husband some of the time. If you stay together, you’ll get better pictures and not regret that you pretty much partied without the main reason you were there that day.


Also second the If you have a shot list, make sure someone else is in charge of it.  I had one but didn’t think I needed anyone else to make sure we got all the shots and when the photographer asked if we got them all, i couldn’t really remember and just said yeah.  I would have wanted a shot of both our families together and we missed that.


I hated when my husband was telling me this when planning but keep in mind that something will probably not go the way you envisioned it.  DON’T let it ruin your day.  At that point you can’t do anything about it and usually no one would know.

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