(Closed) Newlyweds and constant fighting! :( Advice…?

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Have you seen Mrs. Trail Mix’s two posts on the challenging time she went through after she and Mr. Trail Mix got married? I’ll link the two posts:


The Hard is What Makes It Great

It sounds like you might just be going through a tough adjustment phase like she did. It happens, and it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or your relationship.

The one piece of advice I’d give is to keep things in perspective. Let the little things go, and if there is something you want to bring up to your husband, by all means do so, but do it in a calm, non-aggressive way. I’m guilty of making a big deal out of little things, and it took me a long time to realize I just needed to put things in perspective. I do a lot of little things that probably drive my husband crazy, but he lets them go, so I try to do the same for him. 

Post # 19
4211 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@sullengirl222: I understand these types of fights. These were the types of fights we used to have but it was getting to be too much. We had a conversation about how I can make a mountain out of a molehill (Like saying something EVERY time he leaves the toilet seat up instead of just asking him nicely to put it back down) and then I realized I need to choose my battles. ALl of these little things really don’t matter and it’s silly to let them get to me. I started to understand that my brain and my husband’s brain just don’t work in the same way and I can’t fault him for that. He does try, but sometimes it doesn’t seem like it and that’s what I was getting upset about. Luckily we haven’t really had that many fights since we got married. Unlike you, our engagement was not bliss at all. In fact, it was terrible and I think a lot of our fighting happened at that point. I am happy to say that it was just a rough patch, and that seems to be what you are going through. Open, honest and CALM communcation are key. Good luck!

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