- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
While DH and I were engaged, we went apartment hunting in the city where he would be attending medical school. The night before we went, his roommate at the time (they lived together all 4 years of undergrad) told him that he had been accepted into a graduate program in the same city. He wanted to know if we wanted to get an apartment together. DH and I discussed it and agreed that if we could find a 3BR apartment, we would do it. (The rule in this city is that for every person over 1 year old, the apartment must have that many bedrooms). We thought it wouldn’t be a big deal because DH and his roommate got along so well and we were all really great friends.
Fast forward to today, after living together for half a year….I think it was a horrible mistake. I don’t know why DH and I thought this was a good idea. We each have individual leases because that’s how this apartment complex does it, and DH and I pay 2/3 of the rent, our roommate pays 1/3. Yet, I feel like we’re living in HIS apartment. I ALWAYS tell him when we’re going to have guests over. He has guests over all the time and at all hours and never informs us. A couple weekends ago, my mom and stepdad came to visit. I let him know as soon as I found out that they’d be there for the whole weekend. The first night, my mom, stepdad, and I were out in the living room talking. Our roommate had a friend over and they were in the den. They were playing music SO LOUD that we couldn’t even hear each other talking, so I had to take them to my bedroom and close the door. That night, around 10:30, mom and stepdad went to the guest bedroom carrying PILLOWS right in front of roommate to go to bed. Roommate has a couple people over at that point and he starts watching a movie SUPER loud. I’m talking like surround sound on and turned up so freaking loud that we could hear it over OUR tv in our bedroom (we were on complete opposite ends of the apartment) We finally confronted him over it, and he said that he didn’t know my parents were going to sleep. He didn’t see the problem because it was early.
I also get irritated because he always has this girl over who uses our kitchen. So it always ends up interfering with our dinner. They have also decided to do this at 11;30 at night after DH and I have gone to bed because we both had to get up early the next morning. That girl was laughing SO LOUD that it woke me up several times throughout the night. And this has happened on several occasions. He also apparently let her sleep in our spare bedroom, which would have been fine if he had simply asked us. Like I said, we all have individual leases and we were each assigned a bedroom. DH’s assigned bedroom became his study/guest bedroom. We would have not minded the girl staying in there, but all of our stuff is in there, so it would have been nice for him to have asked.
This apartment doesn’t have normal locks. It has a keypad and we have a code to get in. He’s apparently given his code to his sister and she just walks in without knocking when she comes over. I don’t think this is really acceptable.
I try to be nice. I try to stay out of his way. But honestly, it’s just so freaking annoying. We’ve ended up already having a couple arguments over this stuff already. He always ends up saying he’s sorry and he didn’t know…blah blah blah. But he keeps doing it. I mean, is this NORMAL roommate behavior? I had roommates in college and they never were THIS annoying. Sure, they were sometimes loud, but we always got along. I think part of the problem is simply that we are married and settled down. He’s single, so I guess we have a completely different idea of what apartment life should be like.
OH, I forgot to mention that after we got back from spending the holidays with our families, we had to clean puke or something from off the kitchen counter. I know he was here for New Years – that’s fine. But clean up your own messes!
Ugh, any advice? We’re locked into this lease until July 2014. And honestly, we were all really great friends…