Post # 1
I have always wanted to have kids and be a mom…never a queston for me. Not so much with my partner.
Before getting engaged, she was ambivilant about having children, so we saw a therapist and I remained firm that I did not want to get engaged until she was absolutely positive about wanting to have children. Last year, she proposed, saying that she was over the issues that led to her thinking that she wouldn’t be a good mom and that she did want children.
We were married 9 months later, this past October. Around January, she started saying that she was worried that she really doesn’t want kids. So, we went back to therapy. Last weekend, she said that she is sure that she doesn’t want children…and we discussed how this was my deal-breaker and that we would need to break up.
We have been together for 6 1/2 years, married for 5 months and we haven’t talked in 6 days. I think we are getting divorced and it feels like my life is falling apart. I’ve been walking around like a zombie all week.
Has anyone dealt with the issue of a partner changing his/her mind about children after the wedding?
Post # 3
Oh I am so so sorry you are going through this! How heartbreaking. 🙁 I haven’t gone through this myself (not married yet), but it would be a dealbreaker for me, too…((HUGS))
Post # 4
That really sucks – I’m so sorry. I haven’t gone through that but I know more than one couple that has struggled with this. I think it’s really really unfair of someone to enter into an engagement on certain terms and then change her mind. That said… if she really loves you then it may explain why she convinced herself that she wanted kids. How old are you guys? (if you don’t mind my asking…) could she see herself wanting kids in a couple of years? I hope that you guys can get through this…
Post # 5
Man that’s so unfair of her to do. I’m sure she can’t help what she feels, but seriously! Esp since she is the one who proposed.
Honestly it’s also unfair to bring kids into a family where one parent may be kinda ambivalent about having them. So even if she does another 180 this may not be the right relationship to build a family in. Sucks big time. I’m sure you already know that, not too helpful am I. I am not sure there’s a good solution to this where nobody gets hurt 🙁