(Closed) Newlyweds! Living with in-laws after marriage…Some advice please!

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 46
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee

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MrsP0801:  To be honest, i wouldn’t do it. I did it and it was the worst decision i ever made. My Mother-In-Law is divorced from Father-In-Law and is lonely and relies on son for everything. When i moved in she started competiting with me on everything and got annoyed that i was a better cook, made more money etc.

If you do have to move in with them. Set a timeline and make sure it is clear that you will be moving out. I wouldn’t recommend more than 3 months.

Post # 47
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hi

I’m living with my inlaws after my marriage. There are ups and downs.

I do agree with the bees that say 3-6 months will fly by (you won’t even realise) and that if it means you’ll be able to get a house go for it. Your marriage is about you and your DH, but is also about your families. The responsibilities you had to your parents, you share it now with him (and viceversa).

Downsides:

– stay out of the kitchen (at least most of the time). I like food shopping and cooking, but… it’s her house. Accept that. Help on HER dishes. Maybe learn from her you r DH’s favourite food 😉

– it’s their rules. This is the difficult one… Specially if you were living alone before like me. Also, rules with your husband will have to wait until you get your own house.

But be vveeerrryyy patient and establish a good relationship. Hint of needs to have your own house and be alone when they star getting to attached to have their son under their roof still :p

Don;t worry about privacy. You’re newly married, and so have they been. If they’re considerate they’ll give you privacy

Post # 48
Member
1656 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I know this is an old post, but I 100% would’ve done it for 3-6 months. That is a very short amount of time and the benefit of starting your marriage together debt free will likely help your relationship more so than the cost of losing privacy for a few months. I honestly wish DH and I could’ve done something like that!

Your married relationship should be very similar to your relationship prior to marriage as the only dynamics that should change much are your legal titles/obligations and maybe sharing finances for the first time (EDIT: well, unless you haven’t been living together/’consumated’/etc. – which means I don’t think it would be too terrible waiting/sharing your space with someone else for just a bit longer?).  

Post # 49
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Not to bring up an old thread. Plan to live with my future Mother-In-Law after the wedding. I don’t know why I feel embarrassed and feeling guilty with this game plan. The Mother-In-Law and my FW seems like a great idea. As a man I feel guilty not to support my FW. Fiancé is in the midst of career changes and finishing LPN school next year. Our wedding is at the end of next year. Myself I am in midst of trying to stay above water paying bill’s and find full time work. Add in going to school so I can get a job that can be able to support my family in the future.

 

Add this stress with the stress of leaving the house. The issue is I have a fear of death. I feel I need to be with everyone because time is so precious. I lost one pet and fear that when I leave with my FW will be the last time I see my cat.

 

It’s dumb not sure why all these stresses and worries are going on. I love my FW very much.

Post # 50
Member
969 posts
Busy bee

ETA:  Didn’t realize this was an old post that had been resurrected by someone.  So, delete my comment it is!  😛

Post # 51
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

My Fiance and I have been toying with the same idea, renting our place out and moving in with my parents. 

If you can get everything paid for in 3-6 months DO it! That time will go by quickly and you’ll start your marriage on better financial footing.

For Fiance and I it’d be more like a full year and we aren’t sure we can commit to that length of time even if it a fiscally smart move! 

Post # 52
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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MissesAwesome:  LOL I just did the same thing!!

Post # 53
Member
969 posts
Busy bee

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lanvin19:  LOL  It happens to the best of us!  😛

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