Newlyweds needing time apart

posted 2 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
748 posts
Busy bee

Can you elaborate on the issues? Did these just crop up after marriage or are they long-standing obstacles? 

Post # 3
Member
6918 posts
Busy Beekeeper

What are you fighting about? Why wre you so quick to suggest spending time apart? 

Post # 4
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

Why were you fighting?

Did you have the same problems before getting married?

Post # 5
Member
2069 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

How long were you together before marriage and did you live together?

Post # 6
Member
8582 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

lesy89 :  

You had a very short  engagement it seems ( you have a post 8 months old saying he proposed and you have already been married 2 months) . Now there is nothing wrong with that – mine was about 3 days lol and we have lasted. But, it might be a factor esp if you didn’t live together or hadn’t known each other long .

The time apart solution is not a good one, or at least not at this early stage . Far better, unless the reason for the fight is extreme and unforgivable or is an utterly unresolvable issue like a sudden no children turnaround, is to sit down and listen to each other. Really listen without interrupting or arguing  or attacking or defending. Then see what is left at the end of that conversation and make a decision as to how you will handle whatever the issues are. It usually involves compromise, and a resolution to not just walk away when the going gets tough. 

 

Post # 7
Member
931 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey

 I’m sorry this happened bee, but you still have time until the holidays. Why don’t you guys talk again about it? Especially now that you feel sorry, he’s probably upset about this situation too. There’s no right way to start a marriage, every problem is specific and should be dealt with respect and patience. 

Post # 8
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

lesy89 :  Why did you suggest this? Can you tell us more?

Post # 9
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

lesy89 :  tell him you regret suggesting it. Tell him you miss him. Make nice plans to spend the next holiday together. 

Post # 10
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Yeah this is no where near enough information

Post # 11
Member
201 posts
Helper bee

Have you been fighting ever since you married your husband? Why did you want time away from him?

Post # 12
Member
47 posts
Newbee

OP there really isn’t much information to go off of here. If your go to resolution is to say we should spend time apart from each other then that’s something that needs to be examined. @elderbee gave you some solid advice. Certain things are unforgivable, but if y’all were just bickering and couldn’t come to a solution, pushing each other away is probably not the greatest resolution tactic. If both of you need a second to cool off, retreat to different corners. If he’s the type to not address an issue right away, and you get anxious and need to address an issue right then and there, it could be a communication issue. 

What exactly brought you to the brink of frustration here? I agree with PPs who requested further clarification.

Post # 13
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

We don’t have nearly enough info to answer your questions.

 

1. Should you be happier two months into marriage? I don’t know. Were you happy before you got married while you were dating and engaged? What is causing the conflicts in your relationship? 

 

2. How will your marriage work if you couldn’t even make it a few years without problems? This IMO is the wrong mindset. All marriages have conflict at some point. How you handle your conflict as a couple is what will determine if your marriage will work.  Running home to mommy & daddy for Thanksgiving is not a good way to resolve conflict and shouldn’t even be an option. You need to view yourselves as a team. 

Post # 15
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

lesy89 :  The transition from seeing eachother twice a week to 24/7 is going to be EXTREMELY rough, especially considering you both have different living habits. You both need to try and compromise on the way that household affairs are conducted, for example, you could try both adopting a new sleeping schedual that meets half way and communicate more that if you put something down for a bit ie. dirty plates or clothes, that you are coming back for them and he neednt worry about it. I have to say, this does not sound like the ideal situation to now be planning on bringing a child into. You need to learn how to function together as a couple before you go adding the HUGE emotional strain of a child into the mix. Additionally, please dont get a puppy if you cant devote the very substaintial amount of time needed to care for it, its not fair on the dog and again, is adding yet another element of stress into your relationship that you should be working on trying to stabalise.

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