(Closed) Newlyweds: Post your “I Do-Over” for the Brides to Bee

posted 12 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
30 posts
  • Wedding: May 2008

I would have taken better care of myself before the wedding. I got bronchitis the week of the wedding and with everything we had to left to do, I just couldn’t see how I could make time to get to the doctor. My family forced me to go 2 days before the wedding and thank god they did because I would have felt even more miserable on my wedding day than I did the days previous.

My advice to the brides to be: get lots of rest, make sure you eat some healthy meals, and if you see any sign of sickness in the weeks before the wedding, go to the doctor pronto to nip in the bud before it gets out of hand. And above all, don’t let all the last minute things get to you, the extra stress isn’t worth it!

Post # 4
1308 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would have made sure my photographer knew everything I wanted pictures of. I spent A LOT of time on details, and having pictures of them was important to me, but there were a few missing that I am a little sad about. Just for example; I had set of 4 fire pit areas (my wedding was outside by a lake), all of which had s’more stations. There are NO pictures of this, and it was a really big hit. I had dreams of pictures of people in the adirondack chairs, eating s’mores, but there are none. Be specific if its something you care about!

Also, I would have sent him an invitation to take pictures of. 

I also would have sent myself an invitation because I shipped all of them to Bridal Veil, OR to get the post mark, but now have no record of that. Maybe I’ll steal my sister’s!


Post # 5
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I can’t wait to see what people post! I’ve been trying to forsee this issue already.

Post # 6
1652 posts
Bumble bee

 I would have gotten a different photographer and maybe videographer.   Iwould have had more journalistic photography.  I also would have been smarter about how I transported my DIY project.  My favors were all wrapped like presents.  The bows got smushed, due to my packing 🙁  I didn’t realize what happened until the reception.  (Too late.) 

Post # 7
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

just tied the know this past weekend.  I would have had a smaller bridal party and had a secret room that no one knew about…ahhhhh…the drama…

Post # 8
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I would have had all my girls get ready with me.  I was bummed they wanted to get ready at their own hotels, but not getting ready with me meant that some of them were late for pictures.  I didn’t get nearly as many bridal party fun pictures as I wanted.  

Post # 9
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

1. Made sure all family/friends who had a responsibility were aware of that — even if it meant double-checking on my FI! My SIL screamed at me during the rehearsal dinner because Fiance had forgotten to tell her about her "job."

2. Done my hair and makeup before my Maid/Matron of Honor, and taken away my friend/makeup+hair artist’s cell phone. Her Fiance was having a bad morning (read: temper tantrum!) and she took ten calls from him in the time it took to get the hair and makeup done for two girls. Because I waited, and because she did such an elaborate updo for my Maid/Matron of Honor and basically nothing for me (I had really long blond curly hair and was wearing it down), we got NO pictures of just me and my family before the ceremony. There are TONS of pics of variations on his side, but all my family’s pics are with the two of us and not very many of those.

3. Put a return address on my invites! We were both changing addresses after the wedding, and hadn’t picked the place when the invitations went out, so silly me thought that since people were RSVPing online, they wouldn’t need one. Then my great-aunt sent our wedding gift to the care of the church we got married in. Oops. 🙂 I’m pretty sure we got fewer gifts because of this oversight.

4. Gotten food earlier! I was scraping the bottoms of the dishes in our buffet line after the cake cutting and mingling I did like a good little bride, and I was really looking forward to some of that stuff!

5. Not stayed so late — we felt so obligated to be with family and friends who had traveled, and to help clean up. that we ended up having a very informal send-off. I wish I had planned for something nicer. As it was, our car was packed to the gills (I got in and they put stuff around me) because we were spending the wedding night at our new house and we didn’t want any family or friends ferrying over gifts or other items that evening.

Post # 10
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I would have done a rehearsal!!! We had a simple ceremony and small wedding party, so we thought we didn’t need one… wrong. We didn’t realize until DURING the ceremony that no one had the rings – no one knew who was supposed to have them! I also would have been pushier with the photographer to make sure that we got the shots we wanted. I gave him a list and reviewed it with him beforehand. I didn’t see him take the shots I wanted, but thought it would magically work out. Wrong. I would have spent less and done something more casual, made my dress like I wanted to (but was talked out of), and made my SIL a bridesmaid even though the sides would have been "uneven."I also kind of wish that we hadn’t done something big for our honeymoon. We were just tired and wanted to relax together. We would have been happy going someplace near home, and I didn’t feel like we really took full advantage of our big, international trip. I would have stressed less about work before and after the wedding, and probably taken more vacation time before the wedding. (I only took about 2-3 days).

Things I’m glad I did: Hired a band. My husband had to talk me into it, but it was wonderful! It added a lot of atmosphere and was way more fun than a DJ. Did my own flowers; maybe I would have had a florist do the bouquets and bouts, but I’m definitely happy that I (with help of friends and family) did the centerpeices. Used the standard linens from the venue. Made simple invites rather than paying for the expensive ones or complicated DIY. Wrote our own vows and ceremony!!! Hired a judge instead of an "officiant." Got my hair and make-up done professionally (whew!). Had a big wedding – for my parents. I didn’t appreciate beforehand how important the wedding would be for them!

Post # 11
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

All the things I might have done differently are minor in the grand scheme of our wedding, so they won’t really help anyone else.  I can definatley say what I’m glad I did though–

I’m glad we had the wedding we wanted.  We made concessions here and there for our families’ sake, but overall the wedding turned out exactly as we had hoped in terms of the flow of activities and the atmosphere of the party.  That fact alone made up for a lot of little hiccups that some people might have been upset about.  My advice would be to talk a lot about the big picture with your Fiance, and try to stay in touch with it throughout the process.  It will make decision-making easier. 

Post # 12
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Get a picture of both families together… HELLO DUH how did I miss that?

Had a bottle of champange in the room where I put on my dress… My Maid/Matron of Honor and I were there for like an hour and had nothing to do!

It rained on and off and I stood on a blanket in a lot of the shots so i wouldn’t get my dress dirty, the photog said they would airbrush it out… but it turned out to be pretty difficult so most of the pictures have this ugly flannel blanket in it


Post # 13
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would have eloped.    But really, all of the regrets from my wedding came because of the drama caused by family members.  To do it over again, I would have tried to convince my husband to take a whole month off, make it our wedding and honeymoon, and make it JUST US.

The things I am really glad about are the photographers we hired (I’m so glad we didn’t go for the cheaper one we were looking at), inviting my SIL to the salon with me the morning of the wedding (she was awesome!), and my dress (after a little bit of doubt, I ended up falling back in love with it at the wedding).

Post # 14
468 posts
Helper bee

I wish I had not spent so much time stressing about "what could go wrong."  Nothing went wrong, and I spent months agonizing over nothing.  I wish I had taken a few extra months to plan, because there were a lot of little details I would have liked to have that I just didn’t have time for.


I am glad that I stood up to my Future Mother-In-Law when she tried to go over my head about certain things.  I’ve posted about this problem before, but she made me the maddest I’ve been on the night before the wedding.  At the rehearsal our photographer told me that she had given her her own shot list for posed pictures, even after we explicitly told her we would not be doing any posed portraits beyond a few with the bridal party and a few with our parents.  She had asked for multiple extended family pictures.  I called her over and told her without any room for argument that we would not be using her shot list.  She got over it, and I didn’t have to stand around forever taking posed pictures (the 20 minutes we spent doing them were horrible- it was about a million degrees in the church and my feet were aching on those unforgiving floors).

Post # 16
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Both great information, love it and thanks gals!

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