(Closed) Newlyweds: Post your “I Do-Over” for the Brides to Bee

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I totally agree about the list of must take pictures like Bree72 mentioned above! I didn’t realize how important certain shots were to me until I didn’t have them done! Oh well, in the grand scheme of things I did love my weddings pictures, but I am a bit sad about those shots I will never get a chance to do again.

Post # 18
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

All-in-all, our day was pretty fabulous.

I think if I had a “do over” it would be to tell myself to relax and just enjoy it. I was so worried about all my little things working out that I didn’t relax and enjoy the evening until the dinner started…

So I guess my advice would be to not sweat the small stuff & also to just relax when things don’t go completely the way you had anticipated they would- no one will notice the things you didn’t do!!!

 

Post # 19
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Our wedding was fabulous, too! The only thing that went wrong was that we ran low on chardonnay and the bartender had to make a packie run. At least that’s the only thing that my family has told me went wrong. My one regret is that we didn’t ask the caterer to pack up some of the leftovers for us to have the next day (enough for two). The food was wicked good! I also wish my mom hadn’t missed the last three songs of the night b/c she was with my elderly aunt in the house (wedding was in a tent in our back field).

I will definitely post more about things I’m glad we did, but for now here’s the skinny: Photographer –she was awesome, totally willing to take off her shoes (literally) and step into the freezing brook for some fun pics. Nephews –So glad they had a small role in the wedding party (ushers); they did such a great job (surprisingly!) and I know it made my sister (their mom) super happy that we asked them to be involved. Centerpieces –I made them myself, even picked many of the flowers we used. They came out great! Caterer –Food was amazing! How’s that for finding a caterer at the local farmer’s market? Dress –My mom was right! (how it pains me to write that!) Should’ve had her seamstress do the alterations to begin with, but glad I had her finish the alterations and add the lace detail. It added so much to the dress.

Post # 20
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee

I wouldve had a different Maid/Matron of Honor (or had 2).  Its not that I dont love my Maid/Matron of Honor because I do, but I wish I wouldve asked another friend that I am closer to.  I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor because we were good friends (but dont work at the same job anymore) and I had said a couple years ago she would be my Maid/Matron of Honor so it felt like it was out of obligation.  I am my other friends Maid/Matron of Honor and I wish I wouldve asked her to be mine because we are so much closer than I am with my Maid/Matron of Honor.

I wouldve had a different DJ too, who could play the right song for me to walk down the aisle to (among other things) 🙂

Post # 21
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Almost everything went smoothly, but there are a couple things I’d re-do.

1. Spend a little less time on weddingbee and other wedding sites and just do the DIY project already! I kept trying to come up with the BEST ideas and then they ended up getting left til the last minute when I started to not care anymore and did a poor job. 

2. I DIY’d my flowers and they were ok, but would have been way better had I just ordered them 2 days earlier. I was so paranoid that they’d be wilting if I ordered them when the website suggested that I ordered them too close to the wedding and a lot of the blooms were not fully opened and not nearly as pretty as they would have been. That also meant I needed to use more flowers because the closed flowers took up less room.

3. One good photo of my husband and I standing and looking straight at the camera. The only ones we have where we’re both looking right at the camera include our family or bridal party.

4. Chosen to get ready in the room upstairs. We had our ceremony at a historic mansion and the bridal suit was downstairs and slightly larger than the grooms suite, which was upstairs. It would have been fine since we were going to get married outside except that it decided to rain so everyone ran inside and loitered in the hallway right outside my room. Not only was it annoying to hear all the commotion when I wanted it quiet, but people who weren’t supposed to kept walking in and people left the door open when walking in and out so anyone walking by could see me. Arggg.

Post # 22
Member
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

What a great post everyone – thanks!

Post # 23
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

1. We would have given our DJ a cd w/our first dance song so she wouldnt have been playing it through her Iphone and gottena  call 1/2 way through our choreohgraphed dance!

2. Would have given photographer list of images I wanted.

3. Would have scheduled hair/make up to come earlier so avoid the rushing.

4. Wouldnt have agonized over details and turned into a control freak, I am still surprised my husband married me!

Post # 24
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Hotel Vitale

I would have stressed less and hired a professional DOC. Also, we should have had two make up artists instead of one- I should have pushed that point with the salon.

Post # 25
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I would have:

1. Asked the photographer to try and get at least one picture of each guest. It turned out, if you weren’t on the dance floor, there weren’t any pictures of you.

2. Would have just bought a cake-topper or at least put some flowers on it. I didn’t think it was important, but it looked naked without one.

3. Taken better care of myself: like most brides I wanted to lose weight or at least tone, but I didn’t really and it was from lack of trying. I had 13 months!

4. Tried to be more specific with the DJ. I didn’t really care that much about the music, but looking back I wish he’d played more of a variety some how.

That was it. And in the end these things weren’t a big deal and I loved everything else.

Post # 26
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

This is always tough for me. I read on one of the bride blogs (east side bride, maybe) about her not wanting to “shake the glitter off” of the day. In the interest of helping others:

Hire a professional DOC. I just paid my SILs nanny a little extra, and the ONLY thing she did was pick up cakes. Complete waste, no one was at the church when the guests arrived, and I think it was kind of a zoo. 

Not succumbed to the last minute “whatever it costs is fine” temptation. In the final week before our (destination) wedding we were running around buying things. Nothing huge, but by the time we bought him $20 socks, $40 undershirt (whaaa?), a rehearsal dinner dress for me, more makeup then I will ever need (and the list goes on and on) we ended up spending almost $1,500. We would never do that in normal life, and I regret it now.

Have someone assigned to reapply your makeup at the reception!! Thank God we did pictures before hand, because after the tears of the ceremony and the heat my face was a mess. I was having fun and never even thought about it. But I sort of cringe at all of our later in the day, candid shots. Vain, I know.

Lastly, I think we spent so much time worrying about our guests good time, that I forgot to plan for our own. Yes, it was fun and beautiful and I loved it. But still, I wish I had focused on myself a little more. We did a bluegrass band, which people loved. But I am not much of a dancer, very self conscious and the music was not amateur dance friendly. I barely danced all night. It seems like such a small thing, but I wish I had thought to set aside a little ipod time for later on.

On the upside, one major regret I had was not telling our photographer about the balcony at the chapel. I was kicking myself for weeks for missing out on those amazing sweeping shots of our ceremony. Low and behold she sends the CD, and the second shooter had found it on her own. They are hands down some of my favorite shots. I could kiss her!!

Post # 27
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Thanks for all of the advice!!

Post # 28
Member
59 posts
Worker bee

1. would have eloped. =) my family would’ve hated it, but in the end they ended up hating me anyway so it would’ve saved me all that time and stress!

2. would have hired a DOC. i didn’t get one b/c our wedding was too complicated (3 diff ceremonies) but if i just had 1 ceremony and could pay someone else to handle the event planning- it would have saved me from many crises (such as my cousin asking me about alcohol at the reception and my mom blaming me for guests getting lost).

3.  would have hired a prof. videographer. i paid a student to do it and well.. got student quality. the video was grainy and i really regret that, esp to my parents.

4. would have SLEPT EARLIER the night before!!! i think i slept 2 hrs the night before the wedding and i had to wake up at 6 am for makeup and our reception lasted till midnight. it is evident in the photos- my eyeslids were droopy and i could barely hold my smile in place. 

5. would have fought less and given up what i wanted to make the family happy – i know this one is tough to digest, but in hindsight, i wish i was less selfish about “my” wants and just given in.  i had too many arguments with my family over trivial things like favors, rings, etc that really damaged our relationships. i should’ve just  let them do what they want, without them tearing me down in the process.  weddings are supposed to be joyous occasions, not the end of a family relationship. 

Post # 29
Member
5 posts
Newbee

I would have gotten ready before the rest of the wedding party and mothers.  I was the last person to get hair and makeup, however I thought with two hours before the start of the ceremony, that was enough time.  Well totally wrong.  The makeup artist had a hard time putting on my fake lashes, which is another thing I regret because I had never worn fake lashes before. 

By the time my makeup and hair were done, I had to rush to get dress and go down the aisle on time. 

I didn’t get to see my family or bridal party get dressed or share that time together. I also didn’t even get to take the getting ready pictures or pictures with my family or bridal party. I’m still bum about it!

THe whole time from getting ready to walking down the aisle was frantic and rushed.  I wished I just took my sweet time instead, even if it meant that the ceremony would have started 20-30 minutes late.  More bummed thinking about that too.

Post # 30
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Excellent info! Thank you! I will keep checking back … I’m looking for all the tips I can get!

Post # 31
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I addition to having my friend man the computer with the ipod playlist, I would have written a homemade note telling people not to touch the music.   It would have read, “We hope you are enjoying our playlist.  If you are not, we look forward to dancing to your own personal music list at YOUR wedding.  In the meantime, please don’t touch the computer.  Thank you!”. 

We had one guy come up and try to start the music over in the quest to hear one song again.  I snapped at him, and regret that… but he totally killed the mood and then I had to fight off dozens of vulture amature DJs from fiance’s side.  It was an unfortunate moment that only lasted 20 minutes or so, but left a bad taste in my mouth.

Even the i-pod DJ needs to take a break now and then 🙂

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