Next day brunch?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
3662 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

We had all out of town guests (it was a domestic destination wedding) and there was no following day brunch. However, both places where guests were staying (we got room blocks) offered complimentary breakfasts. Even if they didn’t though, we wouldn’t have arranged for a next day brunch. It’s a nice gesture, but not necessary.

Post # 3
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

We did, because we had a lot of out of town guests (all my family) and it was an easy way to spend more time with them.  We did it at my in-laws’ house, I went to CostCo and got a load of bacon, eggs, rolls, pancake mix and juice and had a breakfast barbecue.

Post # 4
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We wanted one, but didn’t get around to planning it until late in the game. By then, the hotelwe got married had the room booked. Instead, we ate at the hotel with our close family and friends that we invited by word of mouth or text the morning of (bfast not included in the rooms) and we picked up the tab. If you want to do a brunch – do it! If you don’t, you dont need to. Normally I skip them because I’m traveling back home so I would never miss it if it wasn’t provided. 

Post # 5
Member
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I went to one once, and honestly… everyone was just hung over from the night before and it felt more of an obligation than anything.  I was an out of town guest and I get that it was a nice gesture, but frankly I wanted to sleep in and then roll out of bed so I could catch my flight home. The brunch on Sunday before heading to the airport made for a long day.

Post # 6
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

We’re having one after our engagement party at my parents’ house, but my mum is a bit extra when it comes to hosting 😂 I know it’s different to a wedding, but we felt it was a nice generous thing to offer as we know some people will be booking hotels and having quite long journeys. I don’t think it’s compulsory or hugely necessary and we are not convinced that many people will attend. 

Post # 7
Member
4798 posts
Honey bee

I have never attended a wedding that had one.  They aren’t a thing in my neck of the woods.  And most of the hotels here offer free breakfast (and some of them are damn good – a few of them even go beyond your standard continental breakfast and have an omelet and waffle station), making brunch just an added an unnecessary expense.

Honestly, the last thing I want after a night of dancing and drinking is to get up on someone else’s schedule, get made up to be presentable in public, and mingle some more with people.  And I sure as hell can’t picture wanting to do it being the actual bride or groom in the wedding meaning I was likely up rather early the day before taking care of last minute details and getting ready before having a long, emotional day where I was also probably up fairly late the night before if there was a rehearsal dinner.  I’d rather just invite out-of-towners to the rehearsal dinner if they are going to be in town ahead of time and make that bigger than host a third event.

But as for a standard rule of etiquette – not really.  If you want one, throw one.  If you don’t, don’t.  That’s pretty much it.

Post # 8
Member
30398 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There is no breach of etiquette in not having one. The only etiquette to keep in mind, is that if you invite guests to join you for brunch (even if you really mean “Come eat in the same restauram\nt as us”- you pay. If that’s what couples mean, they should depend on word of mouth.

Post # 9
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
tduck1 :  After the reception is over, you and the groom need alone time to relax and recover. Your family can host them further if the need arises. 

Post # 10
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Most weddings I’ve been to lately have had a morning after brunch. Personally I really liked having after my wedding. We had a large wedding (210 people) but only the out of town guests who had booked rooms at the hotel were invited to brunch. We included a brunch invitation with the welcome bags at the hotel. Only about 50 people showed up to brunch, spaced out over 3 hours. It was nice to sit down and have actual conversations with people instead of rushing around like we did on our wedding day. 

Post # 11
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

We’ve gone to a few after weddings but are opting to not have one.  Our wedding is small-ish (60) so between the welcome party to which all are invited and the actual wedding we feel pretty confident we will get good time with everyone (especially including impromptu hanging out).  If we had unlimited budget we might have done it but decided to prioritize our $ on guest comfort for the main event.  Not to mention I’m not a morning person so I like not feeling the obligation to do anything the day after.

Post # 12
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I have booked/reserved an area at the local pub/hotel. It won’t be paid for by us but there are food and drink options for guests to buy if they are hungry etc. We are having it because we have a lot of OS guests and want to spend time with the.  

Post # 13
Member
6239 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
tduck1 :  we had one and I’m not sorry at all. It wasn’t anything fancy, we weren’t opening all our gifts after a catered meal (I’ve been invited to those), it was just a chill, we’re all here still anyway, kind of event (followed by target shooting, chitchat and a rocket launch).

The brunch thing is a more modern trend and my understanding was that it allowed the groom’s family to host a wedding event since the others are generally covered some other way. It’s totally unnecessary but if you want to, then go for it. Your sister’s opinion about how you spend the day after shouldn’t influence you. It’s your day after, not hers. That said, no one actually has to attend either. 

Post # 14
Member
13814 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Out of towners and close family members are frequently invited to a next day brunch in my circles, with or without the couple needing to make an appearance. They are absolutely not obligatory. Anyone can offer to host. 

Post # 15
Member
4025 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

View original reply
tduck1 :  My SIL had one and it was a really nice way to spend more time together before heading home. Her reception wasn’t particularly “wild” though. If you anticipate many of your guests getting drunk and not wanting to get up for a brunch the next morning, then maybe skip it.

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