(Closed) Next time they ask me to bend over backwards for them, I'll think twice

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
914 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Why aren’t they spending the day with you? What is their excuse? I thought it was understood that the morning of the wedding is um wedding related!

Post # 4
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Megan316:  I am SOOOOO sorry that you’re going thru this. My Maid/Matron of Honor (my cousin, who is really more like my sister) couldn’t be bothered to make a few trips in from a nearby city (2 hours away,) on her days off to help me with my projects. She made a fuss about the bridesmaids dresses and colors from afar, and just continues to bitch and make my bridesmaid who is actually doing EVERYTHING with me feel uncomfortable (MOH acts like she doesn’t like the Bridesmaid or Best Man personally…) I know how this nightmare feels, except I have someone helping me.  MOH doesn’t want to spend time with us on the morning of the wedding OR have her hair done…She bought this hideous braided faux hair pony-o. Deep breaths, honey. 

Post # 5
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Okay before I respond…when you say spending the day with you getting ready, do you mean today or Friday?

Post # 8
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Megan316:  Aw, I;m sorry (the way it initially read I thought you meant today, and was like ‘woah…they do not need to take off a random Tuesday for the wedding). They said it’s because of the hair? I can understand them not wanting to spend money on getting their hair done, I didn’t ask my girls too since they’ve already bought the dress and had gotten me a gift and such, but they still hung out with me while I was getting ready. I would just be straight with them and say that they don’t have to get their hair done, but you’d always imagined getting ready while hanging out with your BMs, having lunch together, etc. And ask them if there’s any way they could join in to hang out while you’re getting ready. If they have the day off I can’t imagine why/how they would say no to that!

But try not to let this get to you too much – it is the week of your wedding, that is so exciting! Don’t let little stuff like no one offering to do an emergency kit (which honestly, I’ve never heard of having a Bridesmaid or Best Man do that for you) get to you and bring down your mood during what should be a happy time.

Post # 10
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I personally don’t think it is the responsibility of my BMs to help me with projects unless they cheerily volunteer. If they offer, great. But they’re only real job is to buy the attire, get their hair done, and be at the rehearsal, Rehearsal Dinner, wedding, and ceremony. Other than that, any assistance they offer is a bonus. As for the getting ready, do they have work/school that they were unable to get out of? It’s strange, but I’ve been in a couple of weddings where the bride got ready separately from her bridal party the day-of.

I think $25 is extremely reasonable (I’ve spent as much as $100), but if it’s that big of a deal, why don’t you just offer to pay for it? For that little money, I think I would just bite the bullet to avoid any hard feelings. Sounds like things must be really tight for them if that price sounds unreasonable. 

No matter what, I hope your girls are supportive and help you celebrate your special day! Best wishes, and remember to relax and enjoy things. You’ve been waiting for this your whole life! 🙂

Post # 12
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

So sorry hun try not to let it ruin your day. My sister last night told me she was not longer going to be my Maid/Matron of Honor (and that she wasn’t allowing her husband to be a Groomsmen or son to be RB) because I want the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses to come from Nordstrom and not a “traditional bridal store” (apparently at bridal stores they use a “special formula” for calculating what size dress a Bridesmaid or Best Man should order so it can be altered properly – yup direct quote from her!)  Sometimes people really f-ing suck don’t they?!

Post # 13
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Why not offer to pay for their hair to be done if they cant afford it? 

Also, you dont know their financial situation. Sure, you may think that they are making twice as more as you, but a paycheck doesn’t show the whole story. And it may not be their priority to spend money on getting hair done. 

Post # 15
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ok, you’re getting married on Friday and have asked your BM’s to get ready with you, they said no due to them not wanting to spend $25 to get their hair done. If you know they can afford it and made the excuse they can’t then it’s just that…. an excuse. For some reason they’d rather get ready on their own. All you can do is ask, if they decline (for what ever reason) you have to let it go.

I’m sorry that you invisioned all of you spending time before the wedding getting ready but unfortunately sometimes people have their own vision of what they want to do. 

Post # 16
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m really sorry, that sucks alot. Weddings really bring the worst out of people, I’m feeling pretty discouraged lately too. Don’t let them ruin your day, have fun with those who have been there for you. Best of luck!

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