Post # 1
Navigating the rocky waters of abstinence and charting after years of decidedly non-Church-approved intimacy. Non-Catholic Fiance has big issues with the “rules” of Catholic sex in marriage. Can’t seem to come to any sort of resolution or compromise. Advice/commiseration/prayers?
Post # 3
I am happy to commiserate! My husband and I are both Catholic, but the “rules” are certainly burdensome. With my wacky cycle it seems like we can only have sex like 2 days a month without worrying about fertile time or period. Sigh!
I hope things work out for you.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2010 - Catholic Church & The Engine Room at Georgetown Studios
I can offer prayers! Mr Pretzel and I practice NFP and we really feel like it is a blessing to our marriage. I know it isn’t easy and I will most definately pray for you guys. Are you familiar with theology of the body? I think theology of the body explains things much better than looking at this as “Catholic Rules”. Christopher West is a wonderful speaker on the topic and someone who breaks Theology of the Body down into something relatable.
Post # 5
There’s an app for that 🙂 Had to say it, but really, my period diary “MPD” is great- tells you when you are fertile and ovulating and does predictions- I wouldn’t trust this as my only form of BC but it puts my mind at ease in addition to condom use (and I’m happy to not be on the pill anymore/other hormonal stuff)
Post # 6
We are happy NFP users…well, when I’m not pregnant. 😉 It was something that we both felt strongly about…I will be praying for you.
Post # 7
I am in the same boat! My Fiance and I recently went to a Pre-Cana seminar, and learned more about NFP. I have been on birth control for about 5 years, and stopped taking it a few weeks ago. I have never felt better! Once we are married, we are going to try the Sympto-thermal method of NFP.
Post # 8
We plan to use NFP once we are married too. In my mind, there are side effects to all types of birth control (condoms, BCP, etc), so if the “side effect” of using NFP is to want to have more sex bc of the abstaining periods, I think I’m okay with that. 😉
Plus I just really like the idea of being open to God’s will and although we won’t be trying for children in the few years after marriage, we would welcome any “unplanned blessing” with open arms.
Post # 9
For all of you who ladies who are in the preparation stages for NFP – know that the abstinance periods aren’t really as advertized. For my husband and I, it has only worked out so that there are 2 – 3 days PER MONTH that we can have sex where either (a) I’m not on my period or (b) not having one or more of the fertile signs. This has been hugely frustrating, as we’ve been married 3 months have have had sex less than 10 times. If that is a blessing…. well then I’m just beyond confused.
Post # 10
Just curious, are BCP allowed for medical reasons if you are also having sex? Hopefully this isn’t too off topic.
Post # 11
@rusticgirl: I would DEFINITELY seek more help. Either there needs to be more clarity in instruction, or a medical issue that can be addressed. I have PCOS and therefore had some wonky cycles, but some nutritional changes made all the difference. Feel free to PM me.
Post # 12
Sorry you’re having such a rough time. What method are you using? From what I understand different methods often work better for different people. Check out Marquette- they have a method that relies on the Clearblue Monitor (measures urine hormone levels) and doesn’t use CM or temperature. I’m charting with this method and over 50% of my days would be considered “safe.” You can learn it for free on their website, and there is a forum (also free) with medical professionals who can help you figure out your cycles and make NFP work better for you. Feel free to PM me on this.
From what I understand the two issues are 1. are you intending to contracept along with the medical reasons, and 2. the risk that the pill may cause abortions. I know there have been studies that claim the pill doesn’t cause abortions, but the evidence seems to be mixed here and as Catholics we want to err on the side of life. And I’ve heard conflicting opinions over whether you’d have to abstain in that case. Some say it would be ok under the principle of the double effect, others say that since abortion is a forseeable consequence of the bcp, it isn’t right to take that risk.
Also be aware that many doctors seem to think of a reason that almost every woman “needs” to be on the pill- cramps, acne, irregularity, etc.- there are probably a lot of women who think they need the pill for medical reasons who could actually be helped better by another treatment. So I’d also recommend seeing a pro-nfp doctor in a case like that who could help figure out whether it was really needed, and also talking to a good priest and praying about it.
Post # 13
@coastalbee88: Thanks for that thoughtful response! I forgot about the whole it may prevent implantation (which is too abortion-like).