(Closed) Nice way to ask for Money

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yes! It’s rude to ask for anything I’m afraid. If people decide to purchase a gift the it’s a bonus if you ask me. 

Post # 4
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Setting up a registry is asking for things, so I don’t see the difference between “I’m registered at Target” and “We’re saving for a house”. But clearly, I’m the only one who thinks that way. Shower hosts put registry info on shower invites. I will never understand the difference between registering for anything, from $300 sheet sets to a $5 can opener, and the hosts stating you are saving for a house and letting them decide what to give you.

We spread the word with our family that we were saving for a car. When people asked us where we were registered, we said “Bed, Bath & Beyond, but we’re also saving for a car”. But what do I know? That’s just me.

Post # 5
Member
1461 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think the only thing you can do is have a small registry so people understand there aren’t many things you need and if people ask you, your mom or your bms you can politely say “we’re/they’re registred at x and saving up for their first house” and spread the info through word of mouth.

Post # 6
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Weeeeellll…. There isn’t really a nice way to ask for cash. If you don’t register though, people may just get the hint. 

Post # 7
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

You tell your parents to let anyone know who inquires that you would prefer cash and you decline all showers.

ETA: It is common knowledge that couples want cash. We had full registries and we got mostly cash.

Post # 8
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d definitely just bite the bullet and register for your shower. They tend to get really awkward if you’re just opening envelopes with money in them. Either that, or people will buy you 15 crock pots :). If you weren’t having a shower, I would say that you should just avoid registering and try to spread it by word of mouth.

Post # 9
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

i think it’s best spread by word of mouth. Is bringing cash instead of a gift the norm in your area? Here in Aus almost everyone brings a card with cash but to the reception, not a shower. I would just set up a gift table and wishing well (for cards with $) at the reception and let people bring what they want. If they ask you or your family what they should bring as gifts just say “we’ve decided to do a wishing well to put towards our savings but there is also a gift table for those who would like to purchase something specific”

I don’t have any advice on the shower unfortunately. I don’t really get why bride&groom get gift ceremonies twice in the US? I think receiving $ at the wedding is plenty

Post # 10
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am in the same boat, we would rather have cold hard cash for a house or honeymoon.  The suggestions that I got from other bees on here was that we should not have a large registry so people get the “hint” and to spread it by word of mouth.  Hope that helps!

Post # 11
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

PS, you can have a themed shower instead of a traditonal one, but non-cash gifts are still what you should expect at a shower. Showers are precisely for physical gifts. So have a gourmet food shower or a spa shower or a lingerie shower or a shower themed on something you and Darling Husband like to do… maybe camping or baord games or what-have-you.

Post # 12
Member
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

I don’t think there is a nice way to tell people that you want cash.  Prepare to return to get the money you want would be my only advice.

Post # 13
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would suggest word of mouth, let everyone that you feel comfortable talking with about the situation that you prefer cash towards your new home purchase.  I’m not registering at all.  I feel like if they get us something or give us cash it’s a bonus, but other than that we are not expecting much of anything . 

Post # 14
Member
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

We’re trying to get money as well. Our plan is to not list a registry and have our parents discreetly mention we’re trying to save up for our first home to our relatives.

Post # 15
Member
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Two thoughts:

Use your wedding party and families to spread the word. I wouldn’t state it outright in writing though.

If you are saving for a new home, you will probably need furniture to fill that home. Consider registering at places that also sell furniture.

Post # 16
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We have been struggling with this same issue. We own a home and have mostly everything we meed already. I have done the research andost etiquette books say it is rude not to have a registry. Some people like buying gifts…. With that being said, we decided to go with a small regular store registry as well as the “honeyfund” online registry. If you haven’t heard about this LOOK IT UP! It gives you the option to list what you would spend cash on (honeymoon, home repairs, ect.) Your guests can transfer money to you and select what they want you to use it on. We are doing this for our honeymoon, I will incorporate the gift into that thank you card. For example…. One item is a snorkle trip (2 @ $49) we will then send a photo of us doing that with the thank you card to the guest who provided the trip. Make sense?

This may be better for the yonger or more tech-savvy guests, but any help with our honeymoon will be appreciated! There is an option to just print off an item from the list and give cash in a card at the wedding as well… For those uncomfortable with the online transaction.

 

http://www.honeyfund.com 

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