(Closed) Niece and boyfriend fighting. Opinions needed!

posted 9 months ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

Well it’s not really your business, but if he lent her money she should pay it back. She sounds really immature – why is she upset that he wants his money back? 

Post # 3
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

How old is your niece? 

When you borrow money from someone, you pay them back. Doesn’t matter if it’s your boyfriend or friend or family member.

Post # 4
Member
5875 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

She’s upset he got offended?  Why is the boyfriend expected to bank roll your niece? 

Maybe he offered to help her get her license before she started using him as an ATM.  She should never have been the one to suggest keeping the money she owed him and using it for something else. It is totally up to the boyfriend to offer or not.

I can’t believe you are asking what you should do, you should have told your niece she was being a brat and beyond that stop meddling. 

Post # 6
Member
1027 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

If she borrowed money, then she has to pay it back.

If she continually asks to borrow money, people will start seeing her as a mooch.

Instead of getting upset, she should take this as a valuable lesson: don’t start asking for the next favor before the first favor is even done! Fulfil your obligations, be grateful, and focus on paying your own way rather than relying on others for support.

Post # 8
Member
4774 posts
Honey bee

My opinion is stay out of their relationship.

On the bright side, now you know that what your niece really needs for Christmas or her next birthday is some financial planning seminars or some books from Dave Ramsey or Suze Orman since it seems pretty obvious she isn’t handling her finances responsibly. So at least the next few gift-giving occasions are taken care of.

Post # 10
Member
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

Post # 12
Member
5875 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

View original reply
sweetiemermaid :  She has nothing to be upset over though, he didn’t get “offended” he just didn’t want her to keep his money.  I don’t even know why you asked for opinions, I can’t imagine a single person seeing your niece’s point of view.  It isn’t an attack to disagree with your niece. 

Post # 13
Member
4774 posts
Honey bee

So what is it you’re asking of us?

To validate whether she has the right to have hurt feelings because her boyfriend got upset that she’s treating him like an ATM?  Or do you just want all of the internet to confirm and cosign that she sounds really immature and irresponsible?

Post # 14
Member
1546 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

In what world would people not advise you that your niece should pay the money back? 

If her feelings are hurt because of his reaction, and not his expectation of her paying him back, then she needs to sit down with him and have an adult conversation about how his reaction made her feel. If he’s not open to discussing her feelings, he’s not a very good partner to her. 

In the meantime, she should be careful about relying on him to assist her financially. It’s obviously a sore spot. She should plan on being self-sufficient, even if it takes longer to save on her own. 

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