(Closed) Niece and boyfriend fighting. Opinions needed!

posted 1 month ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

My thoughts were maybe he was annoyed she was basically asking for more money before she had even paid him back.  I wish I could say in the years Darling Husband and I have been together that I have been the model wife, but there have been moments I have been rude, cranky, pissy, etc. when I shouldn’t have.  I try my best to be decent and pleasant, but somedays, I fail.  Is this rudeness a pattern with him in all aspects of their relationship?  Or just a one time lapse in personality?  If he is generally a nice and pleasant person, I’d think your niece just needs to move on and get over it.  Now if he’s a jerk and this is a pattern, maybe she needs to rethink things.

Post # 17
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee

I can see where your niece gets it from…..

Post # 18
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

2019 has made online forums even worse than they have been before. 

I think they were both wrong. It is depends how it was presented. She borrowed money and needs to pay it back. Did she explain the situation and explain that she can do it or if it is ok to give it back later. So give him a choise. Or did she assume that it is ok and presented it that way?

Post # 20
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

sweetiemermaid :  he is being a total ass and his reaction has  no excuse. I do think that maybe it was still presented wrong. Maybe it should she been a discussion with a plan. Now it sound like she was presumptions.

Post # 21
Member
3750 posts
Honey bee

sweetiemermaid :  in my experience Valium doesnt lead to a romp in the sack, just a nap. But I detest benzodiazepines. 

Your niece needs to learn to save up her own money for things she wants rather than assuming someone else should pay for them. I’m actually really surprised you didnt tell her this yourself. It’s one of those things where you dont need outside corroboration; but I’m actually getting the sense that you think your niece has a point. She does…it’s just on the top of her head.

Post # 23
Member
5192 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

It sounds like there’s pent up resentment for him to respond like that

She should tell him to never speak to her that way again but she should also address why he feels that way about her

Post # 25
Member
5192 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

sweetiemermaid :  I guess you missed the part where I said that she needs to tell him to never speak to her like that again

Post # 26
Member
5192 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

You’re just looking for arguments at this point 

Post # 28
Member
565 posts
Busy bee

He definitely should not have called her a spoiled bitch but I think he’s entitled to ask for his money back rather than use it for something else. Could be he’s short of money himself right now and embarrassed to say so?

 

Post # 30
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

Calling someone a spoiled bitch doesn’t mean she doesn’t have to pay him back…Are you just looking for excuses so she can keep the money? Greedy B might be more accurate?

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