(Closed) Niece at Wedding – Family Drama/Rant – Am I being unreasonable?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

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busybee86 :  At the end of the day he should be supporting you, which he isn’t. When you get married, your spouse should come before your parents. Even after your update, I think you have a hard road ahead of you if you choose to stay with someone who is not going to have your back with their family. 

Post # 32
Member
318 posts
Helper bee

You seem like a sweet person who is really trying to get along with and please everyone, but what about yourself? Spouses are supposed to stick together first and foremost, and, while you have not put your Fiance in the position of choosing between you and his family, he should never flat out say (or imply) that he would choose them over his wife. Someone who says that will always put your needs last, and that WILL put enormous strain on the relationship in the long run.

My dad lost his father when he was nine, and he grew up very protective of his mom and younger siblings. He often put my grandmother’s desires and family events with his siblings before my mom’s wishes.  It caused such enormous strain on their marriage that they lived separately for a time. And you know what? When Daddy had a major health crisis a few years ago, it was my mom who was there for him literally picking him up and wiping his butt.. . Not any of his brothers, sister,  or Grandma!

Don’t let all of this cause you to second guess your wishes or feelings.  Relationships are a two way street, and your wishes and feelings get to count, too.  I really hope everything works out for you! 

Post # 33
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

They want to keep him and are busily driving a wedge between you. And he has told you his first loyalty is to them. It’s really awful, but at least you found out before you married someone who is alreacdy married to someone else.

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