(Closed) Nieces & nephews not using "aunt/uncle" when addressing you

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 62
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

It wouldn’t bother me; my family always refer to aunts and uncles by first name. We’ll always say things like “oh, Uncle John did X last week” in conversation with others but in conversation with family members we all know who we’re talking about. If you have a preference, raise it with the parents.

Post # 63
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Even though we only married 5 months ago, I’ve been Auntie X for years 🙂 except for occasionally being Uncle X when they’re not quite paying attention!

Do you refer to each other as “aunt” and “uncle”? We always do this around the nieces and nephews, as do their parents, so it’s the main “name” they hear for us.

Post # 64
3376 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I don’t care either way.  My nephews use both – “Aunt ___”, or just my first name.  Either is fine with me!

Post # 65
2777 posts
Sugar bee

@lilbear:  I personally find it weird to call someone “aunt so and so” or “uncle so and so” if I ever have nieces or nephews I’d prefer to be called by my first name. DD calls her uncles and aunt by their first name as well.

Post # 66
1643 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@lilbear:  I have a niece and nephew 14 and 8 (my brothers kids) and they both call me Auntie. It took a while for the youngest to remember, but we explained to him that if they didn’t call me Auntie noone would and it was special to me. I don’t expect them to call my SO Uncle, but they love him 🙂

Post # 67
3770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

We never addressed our family that way growing up and my kids address their aunts with “aunt” about 50% of the time. I wouldn’t make a big deal about this at all especailly if this is your husband’s family. I have had inlaws try to push titles on our kids and it is really annoying.

Post # 68
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@lilbear:  I think first name alone is ok.

Now that you mention it, I realize I call my aunts “aunt so-and-so” and their husbands usually just by their first names. The husbands have all been around since before I was born but, I dunno, this way feels right to me. I like them very much and refer to them as my uncles if I’m talking about them. I think if they brought it up and asked to be referred to as “uncle” that would feel pushy and weird to me, but I’m not a child though. 

Post # 69
766 posts
Busy bee

We have always used aunt or uncle and never thought twice about it. I guess it was just how we were raised so now I think it’s really weird if people – young and old – don’t use the titles. 

Also, my young niece used to just call me by my first name and my sister (her mom) and my mom always corrected her and now she always uses aunt. Which I love :]

Post # 70
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@lilbear:  My FI’s neices and nephews call everyone by their first name.  His nearly 2 year old nephew can say my name now.  It makes me smile.  He’s only met me once in his life and he sees us both mainly through skype.  But he’s adorable and shouts our names when someone points to the screen and asks who it is.  

I don’t really care if they use aunt/uncle.  I called all of mine aunt/unlce (still do, at 31.)  But his family does it differently.  They still respect us as elders and they’re all great kids.  That’s all that really matters.


Post # 71
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Have you always expected them to call you “Aunt Lilbear” or only since you got married? If you’ve been around most of their lives as just “Lilbear” and then you want to be called “Aunt Lilbear,” I can see why they would have a hard time remembering (yes, even after 2.5 years).

Personally, I always called one side of the family with Aunt/Uncle and the other by first name only. It’s all in the general tone of the family environment. If it’s an informal family, then odds are other family members might think you’re weird for insisting on that. I have an aunt on the first name only side of the family who tried the aunt soandso thing and it didn’t go over well.

Post # 72
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I never called my aunts and uncles with the title.  It was always just their first names.  DH is totally opposite.  I don’t really care.  It’s actually weird to hear myself referred to as “aunt” by his nieces and nephews.

Post # 73
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I prefer it if children address aunts and uncles as so. However Fiance refers to his uncle by his first name only. I’ve been with Fiance for 5+ years and his nephews who are 2 are taught to refer to him and his siblings +in laws as aunt uncles, however not me.Which bothers me since I was around before the children were born, and before their parents had even met… 

Post # 74
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I just don’t understand why children are supposed to be obedient/differential to adults– on a basic level it really makes no sense to me.


I believe in being polite and respectful to all people…but children are people too. I don’t think I’ve earned some kind of authority over them just because I’ve been alive longer.


As a kid I addressed my family members as aunt/uncle/cousin/grandma so-and-so, but it was more out of affection than propriety, and it wasn’t 100% of the time.


In a professional setting I use someone’s appropriate title until they invite me to use their first name, and I believe strongly in using correct honorifics that people have earned (e.g. doctor, professor, father/rabbi, senator, colonel…even mrs.) but “auntie” is just an accident of birth.


Post # 75
3229 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My nieces and nephews are only allowed to call me by Auntie NovaRising and DH as Uncle DH.  I do not respond if they call me by first name and they are corrected in our family if they drop off the title.  

Post # 76
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My family has always been on a “first name only” basis.

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