sorry this is so long
@NaijaPuertoDorian: no apologies needed at all & thanks for taking the time. It seems like you might be carrying the weight of being the only naija bee who’s active right now? if so, then double-thanks & of course other bees’ thoughts & experiences are welcome
We’re doing plated (it’s my personal preference to not have ppl in lines & buffet costs more at our venue).
All of my FI’s side will need to fly across the US or internationally to come to the wedding, so we’re hoping this might make invites and rsvps a more accurate reflection of our total #s attending than for the avg nigerian wedding. Not sure if anybody else has experience with that? Was your wedding close to where most of your dad’s side lives?
Also, our venue has a capacity limit, so I’m guessing we might need to do something similar to what you did- we’ll probably tell his parents that it’s 150 guests total & that they have 50 guests that they can invite. That way, even if his parents invite more than they’re supposed to and even if more ppl come than are invited, we’ll have a significant buffer and still be able to accommodate everyone (as long as his parents will foot the bill for extra guests).
So you invited 150, do you remember how many rsvp’d yes? Ive been wondering how I’d know/guess how many ppl to plan for if nigerian sides rsvps aren’t accurate. We’ll need to say a # in our contract, we’ll probably say 150, so we definitely won’t have to pay for more ppl than attend. Then we’ll need to give our venue a headcount 10 days or so before the wedding. We will have to pay for all of that # (so not good to overestimate) and if additional ppl beyond that # show up on the day of, we’ll have to pay a higher per person price for them (so not good to underestimate either) . . . suggestions?
I prefer going around to tables to talk to ppl, but I’ll do a receiving line if it means we will be able to enjoy more of the dinner/reception and eat.
For schedule and control, I think my Fiance and I have the following vendors handpicked and will pay them ourselves & discuss what we want well in advance & that they aren’t to take direction from others (but that they should also never tell his parents that): a planner who sets and coordinates schedule & is used to weddings w/ surprise guests, photographer, dj (who will also mc – meaning mic control ), florist, officiant, & I also am the only one who has a relationship w/the venue coordinator. His parents have a lot of thoughts, but they don’t seem to be “planners” and don’t do anything online really (so they don’t seem like they can interfere w/any logistics, knock on wood, at least until they’re in the area the day or 2 before the wedding). Is there anything else anybody recommends to try to make sure it’s “our day” and how we want it to be?
(I might post some follow-up questions/polls in other threads b/c they aren’t only relevant to nigerian weddings)