(Closed) Night-Before Drama and Post-Wedding Depression

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Ouch. I don’t really have much advice because neither of my parents have remarried so I don’t know how those relationships generally work.

I can say that I see why your father acted the way he did though. I do the same thing with my fiancé. I will defend him to anyone until I am blue in the face if he feels like he is right, but I will privately tell him why he is wrong. I would discuss with your father first, then decide how to proceed with your step mom

Post # 4
Member
10078 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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virologyrl :  

I think it might be useful, if you can, when you call your dad, to just say thanks for the boxes as if that what you planned all along , or  as if it was just meant to be helpful ( that might  have been his idea) Don’t engage in anything at all that’s not light hearted and positive , no matter how you feel.

Your newly restored relationship  with your dad is worth   just smiling and  acting  as if you have not a care in the world and have forgotten any upset or difficulty you had .  It will  make him feel less conflicted  – and it will probably  piss her off because it will give her nothing to go on.

Win-win for you I reckon . 

Post # 5
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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elderbee :  seconded. It’s good advice.

 

OP, I feel for you. It sounds like it was a bit much for your stepmum to have all those people there. Is there any way to focus on things with your dad and let your stepmother be? I’m not meaning exclude her totally…just try to do things with your dad to work on relationship issues with your dad? Like a father daughter lunch? Or something you do with just your dad? For example, my mom isn’t interested in cars. If I want to spend time with my dad wo my mom we work on my car or my dad’s car. It isn’t an exclusion, my mom just isn’t interested.

Post # 7
Member
462 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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virologyrl :  to be honest my advice is different … He is our dad and wrong is wrong and he shouldn’t let her speak to you and embarass everyone including herself like that! I think call your dad and tell him how you have been so happy with your relationship and saddened this happened but hurt she acted that way and caused unecessaey drama.

go post this here …. These ladies will honestly be very tough and tell you not to bite your tongue and pussy foot around and understand your important family is the one you now made and need to protect. 

http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a4725/dwil_nation

Post # 8
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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virologyrl :  It does sound like you are being ghosted then! Another option (and again…it’s just a thought) would be to drop a thank you card off with a thank you for hosting gift in a similar manner. It is a nice gesture and non confrontational. They may not be ready to talk to you yet. Harry and David’s has some crowd pleasing stuff you can send though the mail. I’m hoping I read this right and your wedding was hosted at the step mom and dad’s house? Sometimes hostess gifts can also smooth things over (like when someone spills red wine on a white table cloth at some else’s house).

It sounds a bit like the step mom is an introvert and can’t deal with people? Sometimes people act badly because of issues you may not know about like anxiety or personal issues or past drama.

Post # 9
Member
11381 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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virologyrl :  wow, how old are your dad and his wife? They’re acting like children. She has words and she could have told everyone this wasn’t a good time or whatever,mshe didn’t need to slam doors and food and make a scene. How embarrassing. 

It sounds like she is trying to get your dad to ghost you (again?) and it’s understandable that you are scared. But I have to ask, is this healthy for you? Is the relationship with your dad worth being so scared to say anything no matter how your step mom is acting? 

Only you know the answers, but I’m not liking how you’re being ghosted ny your own father and ignored for doing nothing but buying pizza for everyone. Not cool. 

The topic ‘Night-Before Drama and Post-Wedding Depression’ is closed to new replies.

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