Post # 1
Fiance and I live together already, and have for several years now (including owning our own place and have our dogs). We planned to spend the night before the wedding together, as I don’t want to get a hotel (I’ve got no family in the area – they are all coming in for the wedding) and he doesn’t want to stay with his family.
My family has been on my case about tihs, and is insisting we spend the night apart. I don’t see a reason – sure it’s great to see each other after not seeing the other for 24 hours, but I don’t feel like it would matter in this case. If I’m in a hotel, I’ll be miserable and get no sleep (as I hate sleeping in other beds), and if he has to go to his family, he will be grumpy (he hates staying there) and probably get little sleep as well.
So what would you do – just keep ignoring their requests and tell them you want to stay together, or just give in? They are all about tradition, and I am not. I could care less about the wedding all together (the wedding is for his family more than my own sake – I am one of those girls that never dreamed about her wedding). I understand where they are coming from, and they keep telling me I’ll regret it, but I don’t see why. I decided not to do a first look, as I know that would probably cause more drama.
Fiance and I will split up the morning of the wedding, and I will likely send someone by my house to pickup my dress (so it doesn’t sit in a hot car while we get our hair done).
Post # 3
If you sleep elsewhere, you wont get much sleep and be cranky the next day (tell them that!) I think you should sleep wherever you want to. They will get over it, this is about you not them, you have to do what makes you happy.
Post # 4
Compromise. Tell your family you will sleep apart if it is that important to them- IF -they want to pay for it.
If you have problems sleeping at a hotel, your Fiance could sleep there the night before the wedding.
Post # 5
I think do what you want to enjoy YOUR day, even if you are doing the wedding for them. In the end, if you and your fiance don’t honestly care, is it going to matter? No. Enjoy the night, sleep well, and just tell them it’s not happening, end of story! 🙂
Post # 6
You could always tell your family you will sleep apart and then don’t. Everyone’s happy.
Post # 7
as far as your family being all about tradition, hello you already live together so i dont understand their idea that now is the time to roll out the lilly white tulle and make believe its the dark ages – stand your ground and do what you and your Fiance want
Post # 8
@snoie: I am having a Bridal Party sleepover the night before my wedding as a compromise. I agree that you should do what you want but for me, I thought it would be a fun way to spend time with my girls and I know they will make sure I rest and relax.
Hope this helps.
Post # 9
I don’t see any issue with what you want to do. And it’s your wedding, your decisions! I was in a similar boat, as we’ve been living together for 6.5 years and it’s we had decided it would be easier to get a hotel room close to the ceremony/reception site and get makeup/hair to go there instead of at home. And I felt weird not sleeping next to him and using a whole room all to myself, so we spent the night together and he got ready while I had my hair and makeup done in my PJs, and then he left when I was ready to put my dress, jewelery and shoes on. Then I met him in the hotel lobby for our first look. Worked well for us. But yeah, some people are picky… you choose what you want to do.
Post # 10
They need to get over it. You a legal adult who can get married so you certainly can decide for yourselves about your night before arrangements.