Post # 17
We live together as well but are both getting hotel rooms with our side of the bridal party. We both want to do this to build up anticipation and just have a little buit of tradition heh. I can already imagine getting text messages from him throughout the night and the all through the next day (we are having an evening ceremony). I think if you spend the night apart you will really enjoy that first moment seeing each other on your wedding day =). But really it’s up to you two to discuss.
Post # 18
Wow! People are overwhelmingly voting for staying apart —
I’m still hesitant though — when I think of waking up on my wedding day, I imagine my first thought will be “Wow! I’m getting married today!” When I think of who I want to be sharing that happy realization with, it’s not my sister, it’s not my mom, it’s not my friends — the person that I really want to share that joy with is the person I’m marrying!
That thought is just so hard for me to let go of — maybe in the end tradition will win (our families are very much on the “stay apart” side of the spectrum) but I just have this sadness about imagining waking up without him on a day that’s supposed to be about our togetherness!
Multiple people have said “it’s just one night” which is true! But this night just feels extra special to me… just feels SO different from a business trip (in that case I whole-heartedly agree it’s nice to get some space for a couple days! 🙂
I like the suggestion to ask to be the one who stays at home — at least the bed would be familiar! And also to have breakfast together if we stay separate — I could see that being a good compromise if Fiance continues to feel strongly about sleeping apart. And I like the ideas of picking something relaxing to do on my own (or with a friend/family) that I wouldn’t normally do with him at home… I’ll think on these and process more…
Thanks all for your thoughts and keep them coming!
Post # 19
We’re spending the night together. I know it’s tradition not to, but we will need it to calm each other down! I think spending that night together will represent our entire relationship in that we’re more about what works for us that what is “normal.”
I haven’t broken it to the parents, but hey, they’re all the way out in the suburbs anyway.
Post # 20
Ugh, I have the same issue, only my fiancé doesn’t feel too strongly about it, so I think I can convince him.
I think that since we live together it would be weird to sleep apart…
Post # 21
I wish my fiance was convince-able 🙂 We’ll see… still no resolution for us yet!
We are purposefully waiting until we make our own decision to bring the parents into the discussion — good luck talking to the parents lilyfaith! 🙂
Post # 22
We have lived together for about a year now…and we aren’t going to stay together the night before…He will stay at the houe and I will stay with my sister/MOH at her hotel.
Post # 23
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
@flamingred: Shoot I agree with that! I have two huskies and we love being in the bed without him!
Post # 24
I hate it when we have to spend any long amount of time apart, but it’s always such a rush to see his face again! So personally, I’m really looking foward to seeing that happen on our wedding day. I think it’s gonna be really cool to spend the night apart & not see him the whooole day… and then all of a sudden see him all dressed up and standing at that alter!
Plus I know he’ll be texting & calling me allnight, so it’s not like we’l be APART apart… just apart enough to make him extra handsome when I see him again 🙂
Post # 25
We will be apart…
Plan is he’ll be staying in the condo, and I in a Hotel Room (maybe the same one as where we’ll spend our Wedding Night)
As an Encore Bride, I get the whole “anticipation / surprise” element that others are talking about.
It is nice to have the day to yourself pre-wedding for getting ready
And then building up the butterflies for when you first see each other at the Ceremony
Definitely takes you back to those first days in your relationship when you’d get all ga-ga at the prospect of seeing each other
Based on my first Wedding, there was NOTHING like the moment my Groom turned to see me… his jaw agape… or when we finally met up at the alter and he whispered to me “Wow, you are so beautiful”
That moment is priceless… and quite frankly I want it again this time round
So yes, surprise is the recipe for that to happen (Fiance will not see THE DRESS in any way shape or form prior to the Wedding either)
Post # 26
its bad luck to see your groom 24 hrs before the wedding
Post # 27
@FluffysMama: 24 hours? Who can make that work with the rehersal/rehersal dinner/decorating?
Post # 28
Yeah…. 24 hours seems impossible unless you had your rehearsal dinner at like 4pm and your wedding the next night at like 7pm? Anyway, guess I’m going to have the worst luck ever! We were only apart for like 2 hours while getting ready since we had to decorate all day before the wedding and I had to decorate my cake while he did all the tables and chairs and stuff.