- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
Our wedding day is approaching…..
Fiance and I already live together. Mostly out of circumstances(I had wanted to wait til we were married.), but of course I love living with him.
Well anyways the night before the wedding our families will both be staying from out of town in a local hotel they selected. We were going to stay in the hotel too, but it makes more sense to me to just sleep in our apartment.
I don’t know why but it makes me feel nervous/anxious not to stay the night with my fiance the night before the wedding. I really want to sleep next to him/be with him in the same room. I think I would just be a bottle of nerves, so much that I would be tearful if we separated the night before. I am a very shy person and hate large crowds…we’re going to have at least 50 people at our wedding. I don’t know why but it would just be comforting to me to sleep in the same room as my fiance the night before. I’m also worried that fiance might feel the same way. We are both so shy. Plus, it just makes me a bit uncomfortable considering his family was so meddlesome in the past and still can be. Of course fiance wants to do whatever I want, like stay in the same room as me.
Well a month or two ago, my Future Mother-In-Law emailed me and told me she got a hotel room for my fiance and his brother the night before the wedding. (Even though brother’s girlfriend will be there) Well that’s nice, but we had already decided we wanted to stay in the same room. Fiance told his mom on the phone and she tells him how/why he should sleep in same room as brother and why we should separate.
I tell my parents and fiance if that’s the case, then I am just going to sleep in my own apartment that night, alone. I’m not staying in the hotel. (I had already previously told my parents my fiance and I wanted to stay the night in the same room) Well of course my parents want me to stay in the hotel. My mom says that it’s none of my FMIL’s business where my fiance and I stay the night before the wedding. They still insist we sleep in the hotel, etc….together or separate.
Well a long time goes by and they don’t discuss it again(fiance and his mom) until today she calls up and brings it up to fiance again. She insists again that my fiance and brother stay in the same room. And to satisfy me, says I can stay in the same room as his little sister(my junior bridesmaid). I’m wondering if the brother’s girlfriend will be in the room too or staying at her own place. She goes on and on about traditions etc. She’s Catholic: she’s come a LONG way since a year and a half ago. A long time ago my fiance was going to live with me for a summer(boyfriend at time) and she threw a fit/got really confrontational about it. I guess once again this is one of her conservative, religious viewpoints.
Of course this upsets me again. It causes me much anxiety not being able to sleep in the same room as my fiance. If this happens, then I am just going to sleep in my own apartment(which no family wants us to do)…as we live close to where we are getting married at. Actually, if we could have our way, fiance and I would just sleep in our apartment to begin with, not a hotel:( I hate how difficult and demanding our parents are. I am 30 years old and they are trying to tell me what to do! Fiance says he still would stay with me in the same room if I want to…… I know it wouldn’t be the end of the world if we stayed separately, but I would be so anxious, maybe even so stressed that I am tearful and not get that much sleep the night before. I know it would be special(but I don’t think it would even be that special if we separated for the night). We planned on getting ready separately anyways. If we separate like I said, I just want to be alone in my own apartment, not around others:( My oldest sister said, are we going to have a big sleepover party the night before you get married? Well, she has been so unsupportive throughout my engagement and we argue a lot, that I don’t even want to be around her the night before my wedding, seriously.
Sigh…..don’t know what to do 🙁