(Closed) Night Wedding and Kids IN the wedding party?

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: What would you do?
    Ask them to be IN the wedding and keep the rest of it 'kid-free' : (3 votes)
    30 %
    Have them in the wedding then have a sitter pick them up early so parents can have fun and stay! : (3 votes)
    30 %
    Stick with 100% kid free : (4 votes)
    40 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I just want to share with you what happened at a recent wedding I attended:

    The bride and groom asked the groom’s neice (groom’s brother’s daughter) to be the flower girl but she was not invited to the reception. After the ceremony, groom’s SIL followed the wedding party to the photo location so that when they were done, she could pick up the flower girl (groom’s brother was in the wedding party).They asked if the flower girl could just come to the reception and the bride firmly said no.

    It came off as very inconsiderate as the SIL had to drive the flower girl to a sitter, then drive to the reception (in total about 2 1/2 hours of extra driving/transporation) and just caused general hurt feelings.

    The kids are either in or they’re out. It’s hard to ask someone to be only included in part of your day.

    I personally think that if you can’t invite them all due to cost, don’t invite any but that is just my opinion.

     

    Would it be an option to ask those kids to be in the party and then keep at the reception? I feel like other guests might understand why they are included since they are in the wedding party? Unfortunately I think you’ll run into attitudes either way.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    403 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We’re having a 7pm wedding, too, and my nephew is the ring bearer. My sister’s MIL is coming to the wedding and will watch my nephew during dinner, after which she is taking him to the hotel (or my sister’s house, not sure which) while my sister and BIL stay for the rest of the wedding. I should’ve voted for the first option, by the way! I didn’t mean to imply that YOU should hire the sitter. I told my sister that I’d love for my nephew to be the ring bearer, but that it wouldn’t be fair to the others if he was allowed to stay for the reception. We compromised by having him stay for dinner, since the wedding is so late. And, of course, we’re allowing MIL to eat, too!!! 😉

    Post # 6
    Member
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    As long as you have open communication, I think you would be good to go!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1980 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I think you should NOT include the kids. I don’t think you will regret not having a flower girl (I always think kids IN weddings are distracting and phony-seeming). But I do think you will regret having your no-kids affair cut short when your MOH and brother leave early because their kids are cranky or passed out.

    If it were my wedding, I would not include any kids at all, in any way. I would hire 2 sitters for the night for your brother and MOH’s kids, probably cost you about $100 bucks total (2 sitters @ $10 hour x 5 hours) and have them stay at your house. Rent DVDs, order pizza ahead of time for the kids. Let the parents know the kids are safe with your sitter. I think it is a considerate thing to do seeing as they are coming such a long way to be in your wedding.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1980 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Well, you can’t please everyone you know? I know you know this. But at some point, you have to just try your best, and let people bitch it out if they want. I think you are going above and beyond by hiring a sitter for the kids. It’s a no-kids event, plain and simple. Have they never left their children with a babysitter before??? Do their kids not go to school? I mean come on. It’s one night. The kids will never know the difference, and they should respect your wishes for your wedding.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1980 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    So the out-of-staters aren’t comfortable with a sitter they don’t know? Is that it?

    I’m saying let the out-of-state ppl bring their kids for the weekend. Then wedding night hire a sitter for those 2 or 3 out of state kids.

    Post # 15
    Member
    516 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I think you should have them in the wedding and try for their parents to find a sitter for them after the ceremony 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    1980 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    No way. You are not being a bad auntie. I love kids (preschool teacher) and I still think kids in weddings = trouble. I think its contrived and silly, frankly. And it steals a little of your thunder. I realize I feel more strongly about this than other ppl might, but for me, once I had decided it was an Adults ONLY event, I would stick to my guns, sister!

    They are CHILDREN, you don’t owe them anything!

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