Post # 1
Sooo, long story short, but I had to cut a Bridesmaid or Best Man after an argument when she didn’t return my phone calls for 3 weeks. She “insisted” I pay for the dress, requesting a “certified check”… like my personal account isn’t good enough? Anyways, I tried to compromise, even though I shouldn’t, and suggested she try to sell the dress back and if she didn’t get full price I would pay the difference. 2 months later (my wedding is not until Sept) she emails me saying SHE feels she should not have to wait any longer for the dress to sell and I should pay her the dress, saying “let me know if you need my address to send the certified check”
Obviously our friendship is ruined, but I don’t think just because she thinks 2 months has been long enough I should pay her the 250 for the dress.. her actions contributed to the situation, I feel like I had no choice considering she ignored me for 3 weeks and acted like a child, after repeated attempts to talk to her.
What should I do?
Post # 3
Just say no, and keep saying no. Do you still have the emails you sent her? I’d print them out, just in case she gets ratty.
Then as a back up plan, maybe contact the shop the dress was bought from to see what their policy is like on returns, then forward her that info.
Post # 4
I think you should pay her for the dress and you should try to sell the dress yourself. You are the one that fired her. She did not quit. Even though what she did was not nice, I think that she has waited long enough.
Post # 5
She may be childish and crazy, but you did ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man and then kicked her out. I think that you guys should do a 2 minute meet up. She can give you the dress and you can give her a check (from your account – the certified thing is silly). You can then sell the dress and get some of your money back.
Post # 6
Thanks- I did contact the dress shop and the dress is on sale there now… they won’t return it but they told her they would sell it for her.. so it’s not like she has to do any work!
Post # 7
My thoughts tend towards whoever ended the relationship is responsible for the finances. So.. if you gave her the boot (even if it was for a good reason), you should pay her and she should send you the dress – you can sell it yourself and recoup some of the cost. If she quit, she should eat the cost.
Post # 8
Hate to say it, because I think it was very rude of her to ask, but you should pay her for the dress. Then you can sell it and get some of your money back, but since you asked her to leave (again, for good reason) you should pay her.
Post # 9
I suppose there could be a reason to convince me to say you don’t owe her for the dress. (She’d have to have done something incredibly wrong.) But from your post I don’t think I’m quite there.
If you kicked her out, you should pay her for her dress, and incur the burden of having to sell it yourself, if you want the money.
Post # 10
Considering she wouldn’t have bought that dress except for your wedding I think you should pay for it and try to resell it yourself. Sorry it turned out that way and you weren’t able to cut her loose before she’d bought the dress.
Post # 11
I agree, the situation sucks, but you should pay her for the dress. However, if you do, she MUST give you the dress. She doesn’t get to keep the dress and the money. Also, I wouldn’t just send her a check, I would insist on meeting her in person and exchanging the dress and check at the same time. If she is going to be so petty not to trust that your check won’t bounce, then you shouldn’t trust that she’ll just send you the dress after she gets the check, you know? If she’s not willing to meet, then she doesn’t get her money, end of story.
Sorry you have to deal with this 🙁
Post # 12
It depends on the situtation in which she got the boot. Theres obviously more to the shortened version of your story. Cuz even though you asked her to be in your Bridal Party… maybe she didn’t hold up her end of the bargain… in which case why have her still in it? If she got the boot for a good reason, then no… if it wasn’t, then yes. But either way… forget the certified check thing… lol… that is ridic!
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
If you kicked her out, no matter the reason, you should pay her back for the dress… which means she should give you the dress and you can try to recoup your costs by selling it yourself.
As for certified… that’s ridiculous. Pay her however you feel like paying her that is convenient for you.
Post # 14
It’s worth the money to be done with it. Request the dress be returned to you (with signature confirmation on the shipping) so that you can resell it and you will send a personal check when you recieve it (say it’s for record keeping purposes, which it sounds like you might need, I’d recommend doing it via certified mail as well). She didn’t fulfill her obligations, but you also broke it off, so just try to cut your losses.
Post # 15
I can’t believe the nerves of this woman. For one, she provoked the firing by not returning your calls. For two, I would send her no certified check. And because I’m very nasty when crossed I would be cold but nasty, that is:
1) request the ex-BM to send the dress to you via signed mail
2) then send the money via the slowest payment method possible
3) with a note like “I hope you’ll spend all of this on your health” – if she is Italian or Irish (I’m half and half) the curse will haunt her.
Post # 16
I agree with those who say you should meet in person to exchange the dress for a check. I would also check the dress to make sure it isn’t ripped or dirty. Make sure it is in sellable condition, then give her a personal check. (Certified check? Seriously?) But really, everyone is responsible for themselves, so if her actions caused her to be kicked out of the bridal party, then you don’t owe her the money. I’m only suggesting you do it because it’s a cheap price to pay to get her out of your life…