Nightmare on Planning Street.. Would you wait 7 years to have your wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: What would you do in this circumstance?
    Have your tiny family wedding without your brother in Australia : (34 votes)
    54 %
    Come up with a new plan for Christmastime 2017 and try to get all VIPs there : (11 votes)
    17 %
    Wait and have your and your hubby's dream wedding, with family and friends, in 4-5 years : (7 votes)
    11 %
    Other - I'll comment below :) : (11 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    14947 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Honestly?  I’d probably just give it up and call it a day.  You’re technically married, so in *7* years after getting engaged and after arleady 4-5 YEARS of *being* married… I personally just wouldn’t really see a point anymore.  I’d probably just travel and “celebrate” in small chunks without any huge ordeal.  

    Post # 3
    Member
    7643 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Just do it (i.e. either option 1 or 2, but definitely not the 5 year wait). I know from experience that getting many siblings to travel overseas at the same time is very difficult to make happen. e.g. If you delay it 5 years, who knows, one of them might start a family and then won’t be able to come. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    1183 posts
    Bumble bee

    Just go ahead as planned! And hopefully your sibling will be able to get off work x

    Post # 5
    Member
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Do it at Christmas time – sorry to the brother –  or don’t do it at all. waiting is asinine at that point and still no guarantee that everyone can make it. honestly, I know three couples who have eloped and one more who eloped and then had another ceremony/big wedding. none of the ones who eloped regret not having a big wedding and the one couple who did both say that they wish they wouldn’t have had the big party.  my vote is honestly to just let it go and travel with your husband and see all your VIPs when you can! 

    Post # 6
    Member
    6445 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    I understand how important it is to you to have your siblings there, but there are never any guarantees. It is not only possible, but likely that if you waited 5 years that someone else would have a conflict – work, illness, family emergency (for the ILs), a complicated pregnancy, a newborn, etc. You can plan for a “perfect” wedding (or party, as the case may be), but it will never be perfect. I would go ahead and either celebrate without your brother, or plan for Christmas 2017 and do the best you can with all the VIPs.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7905 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I wouldn’t wait 5 more years to have your wedding. There will likely be other things to focus on by that time. It sucks that your brother can’t attend your proposed date, but that’s probably as good as it’ll get. The timing is tough, but it is what it is. You can’t guarantee that everyone will be able to attend no matter how hard you try. Congratulations on getting married!

    Post # 8
    Member
    3903 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    littlemisspiggy :  You guys are married already. So I would either give it up ir do a vow renewal at like 10th anniversary or something. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2019 - .

    How about having a vow renewal in 5 years? That way you’ll still get to throw and wedding-like party, but you won’t feel as rushed to have a wedding. Either way, you’re already married, and I’m sure that day was incredibly special, even if it was more simple than what you have in mind.

    Just my $0.02 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    1607 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Well….you’re already married, so ya, I think it’d be weird to wait five years to “have a wedding”. That ship has already sailed. Have a celebration next year if you want and or wait for five years and have a vow renewal with your whole family. Either way, it’s kinda too late for your family to see you get married. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    5365 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I would either just throw in the towel or go ahead with the plan for next Christmas time in Aus.

    We had a small Destination Wedding in Hawaii. We had 10 guest. My husband is way closer to his stepdad than he is his bio dad. His stepdad and family (wife and daughter) were all up for it at first and we had discussed the plan with them several times. Then his company got bought out and he wasn’t sure about his vacation time. It was heartbreaking at first and Darling Husband wanted to go back to our original plan of just us because he said he didn’t see the point since the man who meant the most to him couldn’t be there. In the end, we went ahead with *almost* all of those closest (my BFF couldn’t come) there with us and it was the most amazing week of our lives. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    401 posts
    Helper bee

    I would plan a big vow renewal for your five year anniversary. You’ll be able to plan better with your DH’s new assignment and hopefully work everyone’s schedule out. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    2433 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: NJ

    The most important part of a wedding is actually getting married, which you did! Anything after that is not your “real” wedding, that was. 

    You can travel the globe having parties, but your real wedding has already happened.

    Post # 14
    Member
    212 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    It sounds like you are herding cats ;-).  I would do it in Australia in 2017, and just hope that by then, your brother might be able to make it (you never know how things might work out… and even if you were to pick another time now that you were sure everyone else could come, there are no guarantees…)

    I wouldn’t wait 5 years, personally.  Too much pressure, and maybe by then you won’t even be as into the whole wedding thing as you are now.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    9172 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    not a wedding, you are already married.  do a vow renewal at the 5 year mark. and have your big party then.

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