- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
It’s in your dream because his lack of communication still bothers you. Especially if you’ve had these dreams multiple times.
I’d try to sit down with him and talk it out
I think it’s perfectly acceptable for you to have been enjoying your dating days as you were. But I hope he found the wrappers in the trash or somewhere a little less conspicuous. It would just seem like poor manners to leave them out in the open…it’s like leaving a used tissue paper or not flushing your toilet.
But for him to be hurt or agitated about how you acted before you got together…not his place.
I do, however, agree that stating “I guess I have to stop seeing other men” was a little insensitive especially if you were in bed with him if you said such, unless you were both in a jovial kind of mood. If not, then…yeah…I’ve had those mistakes too. The best way for it to go is to simply let go of it, especially him.
The nightmares are saying something, especially if they occur frequently. I have a Fiance with an ex-wife too but I know for certain that he’d never leave me for her, and I’d never leave him for my ex-husband. I believe it is because we have not displayed any signs of regret, ever, in getting with each other and that we rarely (if not never) mention our exes in each other’s presence. It’s just a rule we came up with. Your Fiance broke up with you once for his ex, and it’s rational to have that fear come up.
Obviously one way to resolve this is by talking to him and being honest. Tell him how you feel because of the past, but don’t linger on it like it’s a source of resentment. If that doesn’t work, call in a third party.
@mireisen: Yep, big blow out. I just tried to talk to him.
Condoms wrapper was in the garbage. Still had not slept with Fiance when I made that comment, it was just after a great date that I decided it was him.
And, as predicted when I mentioned the dream he threw that old crap in my face. And now won’t talk to me. He says I’m accusing him of being unfatihful. I am not.
I told him that what he is talking about is in the past. Yes I wasn’t honest about it. I did come clean a couple of years ago. As I didn’t know how to tell him. Yes, I was 43 and single and had a few men in my life on a casual basis.
What we are talking about it recent (within a year) lying about his ex calling. And more recently (the last couple of months) him clearing his calls off his phone.
To me it reeks of hiim hiding something. But he doesn’t see it that way.
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