Post # 1
Looking for some advice on what you would do in this situation. We are having an extremely small/intimate wedding, there are 28 guests. My Fiance has two brothers who are not in relationships that we know of, so we automatically assumed there was nothing seroius enough to warrant a plus one. I just received one brothers RSVP that said “Hi, I will be attending with one guest”. I’m not sure what to do, do I just let it go and be fine with the fact there will be someone at my wedding that I don’t even know their name? Or do I have my Fiance politley let him know that we didn’t give him a plus one because we didn’t realize he was in a seroius relationship, and it could potentally be awkward for them since it is so small.
Post # 2
Second option – get your finance to tell his brother that there wasn’t a plus one and that it is a very small wedding.
Post # 3
First, have Fiance ask his brother “are you in a relationship we’re not aware of?”, if the answer is “yes” then you let him bring his guest, if the answer is “no” then you say “sorry but no”
Post # 4
I second the second option. I’d bet he just assumed a plus 1 was included even though the invitation didn’t specify. Just tell him that you chose to have a small wedding for a reason and prefered it to be intimate with only the people you care for most, and just don’t want strangers there.
Post # 5
Albeit we didn’t have a small wedding, one of my husband’s cousins RSVPed with a plus one, even though her invitation stated we reserved one seat for her and the drop down on the online RSVP only allowed for one guest. We just brushed it off and didn’t say anything, and I’m fine with our decision. While it was frustrating, it wasn’t worth the hassle to me. Assuming his brother is a normal adult who is aware of the wedding size, I don’t think he’d bring someone whom he wasn’t serious about, so I’d honestly probably just let it go.
Post # 6
sollyb : One of two options here:
Let your Fiance handle this and get some real information about this mystery guest and make your move from there.
Let this one slide. It sounds like you’re close to the wedding (yay!!!) and you’re going to have plenty of bullets coming your way in the next few weeks. Pick your battles wisely and save your energy where you can.
I invited the parents (divorced, but cordial-ish) of one of my bridesmaids. Her mother refused to come because she is refusing to go to her daughters wedding (!!!!) and her father straight up told me that he is bringing his girlfriend. Ok, whatever y’all. Turns out Girlfriend is a nice lady 🙂
ETA: Still super rude to assume you have a guest.
Post # 7
I’d be inclined to assume it was a misunderstanding on the brother’s part and have FH clear it up with him.
Post # 8
Thanks! I think we are going to go with this option, try to feel out if this is a seroius girlfriend, or just the flavour of the week! This brother has a tendancy to not “get it” and I don’t think he actually knows how small our wedding is. He will also be travelling by plane and staying for a few days, so I’m assuming he wants to do this with someone and turn it into a bit of a trip. Either way, I don’t want to hurt his feelings or hers if they are seroius, but I also don’t want someone there who I will never see again when that invite could have gone to someone else if that makes sense!
Post # 9
Another vote for option two.
If he wants to turn your wedding weekend into a mini vacation with his current SO, he’s absolutely welcome to do that. That does not mean that your small, intimate wedding needs to include a stranger he has chosen to invite.
Post # 10
sollyb : I would definitely have your fiance ask his brother about it! I entirely feel your pain, as I am also having a small wedding, yet having coworkers who are not married, or engaged asking for plus ones when they know we have been trying to keep it small! If his brother is in a serious relationship, and since it’s family I would discuss the possibility of allowing him to bring his plus one. I would defintely have your fiance talk to him though because it is strange none of you knew of this mystery guest, and also rude of him to just write that on his response card! If you and your fiance are in a position where you still feel you want to keep it small and this guest would be burdensome in any way, or interfere with your pre-made plans I would not hesitate to just invite your fiance’s brother. It is your and your fiance’s day and you both have to be the ones to be ok with this decision! I wish you luck and I hope your wedding is amazing:)
Post # 11
Option 2 have your fiance speak to him. It’s kinda of upfront/rude of him to put that he will be bringing a guest but let’s give him the benefit of the doubt that either a) he’s in a relationship now or b) he’s just made a simple mistake and wasn’t sure about what to put.
Post # 12
Option 2. We had a small intimate wedding and we had a no introductions rule. My brother and sister had both recently started dating people prior to my wedding. My brother had started dating his Girlfriend before he even got the invite but I’d never met her. Neither one assumed a +1 because they knew it was a small intimate wedding and I didn’t know their SO. You don’t know this person, they shouldn’t be there end of story. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean it’s ok for them to be rude, adding a +1 is rude
Post # 13
Well after much thought and a bit of back and forth, we have decided just to let it go, I’m not all that happy about it, but I’m just going to go with it.
This brother is a bit of a wildcard and doesn’t even talk to the rest of the family besides my Fiance, and my fiance doesn’t want to rock the boat. I don’t agree with him, but I respect his desicion. At the beginning of it I told him since it was his family, he could decide. Even tho he asked his brother if this was a seroius girlfriend and he said no, ugh. Had to ask her name so we could at least write a name card.
Post # 14
sollyb : While the outcome is obnoxious, good for you for letting it go! When planning my wedding a few years ago, so much crap went wrong & there’s so much weird/rude things that guests/vendors do. It’s better to save your energy as another person commented! Congrats on planning- you’re almost done!! 🙂