(Closed) no +1 option? how do you feel about it?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it depends on who it is. Between my Fiance and I, we have easily over 25 cousins. If each person brought a +1, that would add up when we already have a limited budget. The cousins themselves are lucky to be invited, I am not going to pay for their random dates (we are inviting spouses and people in relationships over 2 years)

Post # 4
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

wish we could do a plus one for everyone, but to be honest, and without passing too much judgement, some of my friends “dates”  that were mentioned about possibly bringing are just not the type of people i want at my wedding.

Post # 5
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, I had a semi “serious relationship” rule.  I have 30 first cousins; Something had to give, and I figured they could all hang out together.  All out of town guests and a few single people that I knew would know few people we extended an “and guest”.

Post # 6
9667 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

the bride and groom invite guests, guests do not get to invite guests. if you know other people just suck it up and go alone. i had been with my Fiance for several months when i went to my cousin’s wedding, my sister also had a boyfriend at the time, neither of us got a +1, we still went and had a great time!

Post # 9
869 posts
Busy bee

I’d love to have everyone bring a friend/date.  Unfortunately, money doesn’t grow on trees and not everyone has their parents pay for their wedding.  🙂

Post # 10
673 posts
Busy bee

It’s going to depend on your guests and traditions. I am not one to do things alone. I hate to admit that I didn’t even go out to eat in a sit down restaurant by myself until I was 30. I’ve never been to a movie on my own. These are things I just associate with social activities, so I really don’t do them by myself.

A wedding would normally be the same thing. However, when I was invited just as a single and new one of my friends was invited as a single, we were just each other’s “date.” We split the hotel room and rental car, and we had a blast. So, if you have people like that as the singles, I think it’s totally fine. It didn’t matter that we didn’t know her family, we had each other for company and the family “adopted” us anyway.

If you’re inviting one person from college who doesn’t know anyone in your family or current friends, then it’s rather rude not to include a guest for them.

Post # 11
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@upallnight:  I totally agree with you!!! My Fiance and I have decided to do +1’s for all of our single friends. Even if they bring a sister, friend, their mom, a new date, it’s fine by me. I just don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable arriving, hanging out, and leaving alone. That being said, I understand that this means I am paying for several strangers to attend my not-cheap wedding, and this has raised the cost substantially. I certainly don’t blame anyone who decides not to give +1’s, but I personally wouldn’t attend a wedding alone so it’s hard for me to expect my guests to do so.

Post # 12
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It’s very generous if you’re able to give each and every person a +1, but I personally don’t think it’s necessary. Yes, it sucks if you don’t know one single solitary person other than the bride and groom- but hopefully in that scenario, the bride and groom would seat you at a table with fun, friendly people whom you could befriend. That’s what I did with our guests who didn’t get +1s.

It is absolutely not rude to not give +1s to each and every guest. Most people do not want a bunch of randoms running around their wedding, especially not with the cost of weddings today.

Post # 13
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

no way could we give everybody a plus one…. I would only do a plus one if the person has a SO, its not rude to not give a plus one unless they are married or engaged.  We are trying to keep it to 75 people and we have some single friends who did not get a plus one.  I think it would be odd for us to invite a firend and have them bring their mom or sister or some random person

Post # 14
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@upallnight:  Out of curiosity, when you’re invited to a party, do you always invite a friend along?  

I’ve invited friends to functions and they weren’t going to know anyone else there other than me, and they came solo.  So it’s hard for me to understand why some of these same people all of the sudden are automatically expecting a +1 when they’re not attached.

I’m giving non-attached friends who are traveling from out of town a +1, and attached friends get a +1, but that’s it.

Post # 15
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If we had an unlimited budget and unlimited space for seating, sure, everyone and their freind would be invited. I understand not wanting solo people to feel solo. But, we only have 175 seats for our wedding. I only want our VIPs to have those seats. So I don’t feel bad eliminating the plus one in exchange for a close family member to be in attendance.

I was invited to wedding, NYW mind you, where I was told no +1’s, despite the fact I’m engaged. I still went and had a great time. I had to leave by midnight to be with my FH, but I still went because it was important for me to be there.

If you have the money and space, invite everyone and include their plus one. But if you have a limited space and budget, I’d be picky. Those that want to be there and support you, will be there.

Post # 16
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@nutMeg13:  I am in a similar situation as you. Too many cousins and not enough money. When I brought this topic up to my Future Mother-In-Law she pretty much told me that I have to allow for one of my FI’s cousins to bring her boyfriend even though they will only have been dating 1+ years by our wedding. I don not feel this is fair because I dont feel any of the cousins should get special treatment.



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