Post # 1
Helllo everyone, I will be 20 at the time of my wedding. Because of this, my fiance (who will be 21) is worried that if there is alcohol at our wedding, someone might try to claim that I was drinking under age, even though I would not, and cause a commotion. Besides that, his mother is an alcoholic who cannot control herself. I had suggested that we just serve champagne to the guests for the toasts, while I drink sparkling grape juice, and have no other alcohol. Meanwhile, my fiance wants absolutely no alcohol around so that he knows there will be no problems alcohol-related. Is it appropriate to have a wedding with absolutely no alcohol, including the toasts? (He wants to replace the champagne for the toasts with sparkling grape juice for everyone.)
Another concern for my fiance is the price. We are paying for our wedding on our own and have a strict budget.
Post # 4
It really depends on your social circle– this wouldn’t fly in my group, but then again we are all a bit older and don’t have the legal issues with underaged drinking. If you want to serve alcohol and there are a lot of under-agers, you could always request an ID check, perhaps buy or DIY some pretty wrist-bands and put someone in charge of checking ID’s. No ID, no drink. ID, you get a wristband and you can drink.
Post # 5
@fishbone: agree with this
Post # 6
Who would make a fuss about you drinking, even tho you’re not? That seems odd to me?
I think given your age, I wouldn’t really see a problem if it was done in the right way. Maybe consider having a Sunday brunch wedding where most people wouldn’t expect alcohol. A typical Saturday evening wedding would be a bit odd with no booze, IMO.
Post # 7
If you have high expectations on having people “stay and party” then you would need to lower them with no alcohol. I’ve been to three dry weddings and two of them had no dancing. People enjoyed the ceremony, ate dinner, had cake, and went home. The one that had dancing I had to stay for because I was in the wedding, but most of the guest left after the cake was cut.
Please, please, please do not serve some kind of “green punch” in flutes though. One of the weddings did this and it looked awful.
Note – my wedding was not dry but had no dancing. I wanted everyone to attend the ceremony, socialize, eat, drink, and then go home. The latest I wanted anyone to stay was 9 PM and the ceremony started at 6 PM. I was not disappointed that people didn’t stay longer because I set realistic expectations. My little sister thought that people would party all night long at hers but she had terrible music. She was surprised and disappointed that people left so early (hers started at 3 PM and we were cleaning up by 7 PM. There was both alcohol and dancing involved).
Post # 8
@Kng2178: So you’re, what, 16 now, and the wedding is in 2017? I wouldn’t worry about the alcohol issue now.
If you really want to start “planning” this wedding, I’d just be thinking of general ideas of where, what type of wedding (brunch, dinner, cocktail reception, etc), and so on.
Post # 9
I did actually just go to a wedding where there bride was almost 20 and their reception actually told them that they would only allow alcohol to be serve is if there were two cops there to make sure the bride wasn’t drinking. So you could do that so that no one will spread rumors of you drinking.
Personally I don’t drink and neither does my fiance. If anyone wants to whine about how there is no wine at our wedding than they can just not come. As long as it’s not going to be on a holiday I think it’s perfectly fine to have a no alcohol wedding.
Since you are on the young side you could do a young and fun toast like maybe glass of milk or lemonade. You could also have fun mixed non alcoholic drinks. I wouldn’t have alcohol there since you have to worry about his mom. I’d be to worried she would end up ruining things.
Post # 10
I am 18 now and getting married in 2015. My fiance worries with someone trying to say I was drinking because or venue has a zero-tolerance policy for those underage. About 15-25% of my guests will be underage. Besides that, five of our guests are heavy drinks who believe that if you drink, you drink to get drunk including his mother and brother. Eveytime I’ve seen her around alcohol, she gets completely wasted as in major hangover, cannot walk on her own, starts grinding on anything male, talks badly about her husband and sons, ect. The last time she drank, she spilt beer all over my fiance, fell o top of my, and nearly landed in a fire.
Post # 11
You are 16 planning a wedding 4 years from now? WTF
Post # 12
@Mrs. Louboutin: I am NOT 16. I am 18, and it is two years from now. Whoever has said I am 16 is incorrect.
Post # 13
@Kng2178: Well when is your birthday? You could always push the wedding date a bit to happen when you’re 21. Although I do understand the concern with alcoholism. In that case a dry wedding may be best. Or you could always forget about the traditional evening reception and maybe do something like brunch! Then there is much less expectation for alcohol.
Post # 14
@Kng2178: I assumed 16 because your wedding date next to your username says 2017 – and if you were 20 then, you’d be 16 now. But now I realize your year has changed, and thus I was mistaken.
Post # 15
Under the circumstances with his mother, I would totally support an alcohol free wedding. I have relatives who are alcoholics and my brother has good friends who are Mormon, and we never expect alcohol at a party hosted by either.
I would just make sure people are aware.
Post # 16
I agree with this…with our group, hell no! we’re drinkers, even when Fiance & I started dating and I was only 19 (he was 23) we still went out and they all drank, I obviously didn’t. But they didn’t not drink because of me.
We’ll have some (4 or 5, if that) underage people at our wedding, we’ll still be serving alcohol. I don’t think it shouldn’t not be served because somebody is under age. That’s just my personal opinion though!