(Closed) No alcohol, family annoyed

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 47
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@EncoreBridetoBe  Another Muslim woman wrote that Muslims are also supposed to avoid being around alcohol and environments where alcohol is served.

Your thing about vegans isn’t analgous. I hate seeing that argument on the boards. Follow the logic: a vegan cannot eat meat, usually for ethical reasons. You can eat non-meat foods. If a vegan paid for your damn steak, their money would have gone toward killing an animal. So you expecting a meat dish at a vegan wedding is asking your host to break their beliefs so you don’t have to step outside your comfort zone for one freaking meal. Just like if a Muslim person pays for your alcohol, they are helping someone do something forbidden by God. So…

Post # 48
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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@Syzygy88  I NEVER said she should pay for something that is in direct contradiction to her beliefs. I said cash bar, I never said she should pay for it. I was asking her not you, about her beliefs. I am trying to understand how it works in general i.e. if these people drink but are close enough to the bride and groom to be invited surely they have seen this people drink. IF that is the case, then she must not be that uncomfortable with other people drinking. Being close to any group who doesn’t believe the same as you, usually makes you a live and let live type a person. Frankly, if everyone adopted a live and let live attitude the world would be a better place.

 

You can post all day, if someone is a vegan that is their personal choice but inviting someone to a wedding and willfully not caring if they will starve because they don’t want to tofu, shows a lack of consideration for their guests. What happens when they go to dinner parties and see people eat meat? I’d guess they like any logical person understand that not everyone has the same view point and they can’t force their views on others. Or simply only associate with vegans. How about medical reasons? What if a guest a medical issue and tofu isn’t going to cut it? What are you saying vegans trump everything?

Honestly don’t reply to ME simply go on a tirade about how the views of vegans are more important and extending any courtesy is ridiculous. I am not going to agree with you and if that bothers you well c’est la vie.

Post # 49
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@EncoreBridetoBe  It is not about “seeing people drink” (or eat meat). Weddings mean different things in different cultures. If you are religious and the religious aspect of the wedding is very important, then the atmosphere of the wedding should be in keeping with your religious beliefs – and should certainly not violate them. You obviously believe strongly in individualism. Great. But there is a difference between hanging out with people who think/act differently than you, and paying for/supporting habits that are in direct conflict with your beliefs. If I like smoking weed, can I kick back and do it at a 2-year-old’s birthday party? I mean, I like smoking weed, it can’t hurt you, I’m keeping the smoke away from them, what’s wrong with it? I’m a guest – I should be comfortable, right? I fucking love barbecue. Should I become enraged because ribs are not served at my Jewish friend’s reception? Ribs are my favorite thing. I do not like vegetables or other forms of meat. Just ribs. I’m a guest, though, so they should serve me ribs.

As for the vegan thing – what can’t you grasp? That a vegan CANNOT PURCHASE MEAT because it is AGAINST THEIR BELIEFS. There are tons of wonderful foods that do not have meat or dairy in them. If you never have a meal without meat or dairy, I strongly suggest you try it, if only for the sake of your heart.

Post # 50
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@EncoreBridetoBe  And religion is a personal choice too, dude. I think it is crazy selfish to expect people to go against their beliefs (no matter how silly you find them) because you don’t want to be briefly inconvenienced.

Post # 51
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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@Syzygy88  Do not put words in my mouth I never called them silly beliefs. I am coming from a stand point of a person who would insure a vegan guest has a vegan meal, a vegetarian guest has a vegetarian meal and a Muslim guest would be at a table with people who don’t drink or drink very little to insure that everyone has the maximum amount of enjoyment.

Post # 52
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

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@Syzygy88  I am half calabrese, calabria is very close to sicily and half op’s family is from sicily so I asked HER not you if she is around them while they drink. I asked this because I have never met an Italian in my family or any other family who didn’t drink wine. You can not answer that question.

 

I know what vegan beliefs are and they are not mine, seems you can’t comprehend that, so if tomorrow I state I believe that providing a vegan option is wrong (sarcasm), what vegans will go along with it because it is my belief? I think not, nor should they be expected to. It works both ways, manners are not a one way street. Eat what you want and don’t impose your beliefs on other people is my advice.
Look at the definition of GUEST and decide if serving vegetarian is the proper thing to do.
Just because it is your day, don’t forget that people are going out of their way to attend and you should offer them something as thanks for attending. make them happy too to be attending. You can put things in bold until fingers bleed, it is not making me want to look at things your way. Infact all I am seeing is someone who is screaming it is a vegan’s belief. I know that but I do not feel that manners should be compromised and you are rolling the dice in regards to the food being enjoyed when serving a vegan meal to someone who is not vegan.

 

You strongly suggest? If I strongly suggest you eat a steak, oh I’m a monster then. Yeah I am not a fan of things that don’t work both ways.  I am not knocking your beliefs but they are not mine. Yours are not better than mine and mine are not better than yours.

Post # 53
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee

If you have guests that require alcohol for their comfort, then they should be in treatment for DTs, not attending a wedding.

Post # 54
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

They’ll cope, just a quick one to say that I think your Mum’s idea of having a/some shisa(s), is a great one, that would certainly distract people from the lack of booze.

I also wouldn’texpect meat at a vegan wedding do certainly eould’t expect booze at a Muslim wedding. They’ll moan (I probably would too) but I wouldn’t resent it and eould understand.

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