(Closed) No Alcohol tab – how to let our guests know

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
13014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Do you have a website?  I’d put “Reception featuring a Cash Bar” on the website and have it spread through word of mouth. 

If you’re going to make an insert, maybe try to do something cutesy.. “For those wanting a little extra spirit following the ceremony, a cash bar will be available” or something like that?

Post # 4
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Nothing!  I am having my reception in the church hall, so only sangria will be served.

Post # 5
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@louiseW:  I agree that website would be the best. If you don’t have a website, word of mouth or a little card that can be tucked into the envelope or with a directions card.

Post # 6
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Make a reception card to include with the invitation:

Dinner, dancing, and cash bar to follow at

SoAndSo Place

SoAndSo Time

SoAndSo City, State

Post # 7
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m looking at an invite in front of me that reads ‘no host bar’….although later it says ‘partying to follow’ which I find a little tacky since they expect us to ‘party’ but aren’t providing stuff to party with.  Whatevs.

Post # 8
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Agree with previous posters. Put it in the FAQ section of your wedding website, but also note it on the reception enclosure card in your invites. I know that I don’t often carry cash with me – so it would be something I would definitely want to know prior to showing up!

Post # 9
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

Ideally, the proper well-bred hostess provides for all her guests’ needs, and the proper well-bred guest makes do with what his hostess has provided, so ideally there would be no need for this information on the invitation. I presume you are providing tea, coffee, water, soft-drinks and so on without charge to your guests, and that covers off any needs your guests may have for liquid refreshment. Unless you move in temperence-committed circles, it would be more festive to provide wine or champagne or a “hard” punch as well; but if all you can afford is pure water, then water is sufficient.

Alas for my ideals, a great many guests cannot feel festive unless they do have a glass of distilled spirits in hand, and wine or punch — let alone mere water — is going to leave them feeling deprived. This is really their problem, not yours. It is thoughtful of you to allow them to indulge themselves, even if it does drag a vaguely commercial element into your otherwise elegant social occasion; and all you have to do is figure out how to carry through on that thoughtfulness without staining your stationery with anything so crass as “Bring money so you can buy your own liquor.” One rule of polite correspondence is that you tell guests only what you ARE inviting them to, not what you are NOT inviting them to. So you could say in the reception information something like

Reception to follow
with bar (wine and softdrinks will be hosted)

This is a bit clunky. For one thing, “host” is a noun, not a verb, and it does not really mean “provide free of charge” — but it is a common usage. It probably works better than just putting the information on your website, because not all guests are interested in doing internet research before going to a routine social event (and your wedding is “routine” for everyone except you, your immediate family and your wedding party.) Anyone who is not alcohol-dependent for their partying mood will come prepared to drink pop. Anyone who is worried that there won’t be whiskey and gin will call you up and ask if the bar will provide liquor, at which point you can let them know to bring cash; or they will go in search of your website for clarification.

But since you are already compromising (thoughtfully) to allow for your guests’ not appreciating a “dry” wedding, the previously-recommended “no-host bar” is probably a little clearer and cleaner. There will still be some people who don’t know what “no-host” means so “cash bar” would be even clearer — but I don’t think I could bring myself to have the word “cash” engraved on a social invitation.

Post # 10
Member
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I have always been curious as to how Aspacia felt about a ‘hosted’ bar.  Interesting that she didn’t quite commit to either free booze or just soft drinks.  Such a clever girl.  πŸ˜‰  Thanks A!

Post # 11
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Right up until that last comment I was going to post and say how lovely it was to finally read a post where people just answered the question and didn’t comment on the ‘proper thing to do’ lol.

Post # 12
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@ticatica  ordinarily I would agree with you….. except I think I just fell in love a little bit with aspasia475.

 

Post # 13
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@3xaCharm:  lol i know πŸ™‚ It’s like stepping back in time!

Post # 14
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I put no mention of it on the invites themselves, rather I put the info on my website and through word of mouth. I also mentioned that the bar would take credit or cash and there was an ATM onsite, something you might want to check into with your venue.

Post # 15
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I will be having a toonie bar and I’m just putting those two words on the bottom of my reception insert. It’s very common here.

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