Post # 77
CASH BAR is just fine…..I had a Cash Bar at my wedding and there were no complaints from anyone. Everybody stated that they enjoyed themselves and was one of the best weddings they had been to It’s YOUR day YOUR choice, do what you and your future hubby can afford…don’t break the bank to please other people and end up start your marriage with a bunch of wedding debt.
Post # 78
@Apple_Blossom: I agree with you 1000% it seemed very harsh
Post # 79
@Bebealways: Thank you! This entire poll and thread has actually been very reassuring to me that some etiquette rules can be broken or bent (depending on the situation, of course).
On a completely unrelated note, love the avatar. 😉
Post # 80
My preference is for no alcohol, but that’s only because I don’t drink and I assume I would have lots of fun punches to try in leu of booze. 😀
I think a cash bar is fine
Post # 81
As a guest I would rather have to pay for my alcohol than not have the option of it but I would pass judgement unfortunately. However, as a bride I would be completely mortified by requiring my guests to pull out their wallets. I would never ever have a cash bar or a dry wedding.
Post # 82
Cash bar that takes credit cards!
Post # 83
Agreed with those who say it depends on your social circle, but I think it also depends on the circumstances of those you are inviting.
I recently attended a wedding where EVERY person attending had to travel – either by car, plane (or in many cases, both). We all went out of our way to spend good deal of cash to attend this event… and upon arrival finding a cash bar just felt really cheap. Like it was okay for all of us to spend a lot money to be there, but there was no desire to return the gesture to the guests. I heard a lot of people remarking about it. To some people, maybe that isn’t an issue, but I would feel horrible if I’d invited so many (seriously – over 90% of the guests!) to travel from out of town and then those people spent my reception remarking how rude they felt it was.
If your circumstance is similar, maybe you could make the gesture by having, for example, an hour or two of the bar complimentary and then cash bar following? Warning – those who really want to drink, though, WILL make every effort in this scenario to chug before they have to pay. There were some embarassingly early tipsies at another wedding I attended where this approach was used.
Post # 84
@AlwaysSunny: I agree with AlwaysSunny: The guests should accept what the hosts can give, and if it is no alcohol, then no alcohol… you can always figure out other beverages alcohol free that are creative and fresh and tasty (see Williams Sonoma website and others). I am from Mexico and even though I think as well that will be a big deal a NO alcohol wedding party, I think all my guests would be very offended to have to buy their own boost… here are other options like the ball room or restaurant allow to bring in their own bottle to mix in the table as long as they are all closed and are handed to the ball room in advance and at once. Some of them charge you with an extra as a “right” to open the bottle there but don’t know if that is allowed at all anywhere else. Bottomline: I would rather have no alcohol than having the guests paying for their own boost.
Post # 85
@theshannondee: Your position is so interesting to me… like all the evidence is there that people prefer a cash bar, and even you prefer a cash bar, but the etiquette standard is so fierce as to make you feel you must shy away from the thing that you know is preferable to most. This is exactly why I think certain etiquette standards/traditions are more damaging than helpful.
Post # 86
I always wondered how people could offered to have an open bar at their wedding. I can just imagine how much that cost. There is no way I’m having an open bar at our wedding for the entire reception. There will be an open bar for about two hours before dinner is served and wine with the meal. That’s it, that’s all.
Post # 87
Definitely cash bar…yes, open bar is always better but I think most people understand that sometimes you just can’t afford it. I will admit that I’m generally one of those people who thinks if you can’t afford to do an open bar, you should reconsider your guest list and what else you are spending money on but I also acknowledge that sometimes that just isn’t an option and people should still be able to get married with their friends and family present.
Just let people know ahead of time – I went to a friend’s wedding without any cash and when I got there, learned it was cash bar. Sucked to have to leave and go find an ATM so I could drink that night. The worst part of all of that is that the marriage didn’t even last a year…spent all that money on a wedding, made their guests pay for their own refreshments and then called it quits around 9 months. Sigh.
Post # 88
I find it really interesting how important alcohol is at social events. I suppose it’s because my Fiance and I don’t really drink. (A glass of wine for me here and again on Shabbat and occasional vodka with FI’s brother, and nothing for my Fiance because of his medication.) For us, liquor isn’t really important. I doubt we’ll have much of it at our wedding — maybe something bubbly, but that’s it. So for me, given our general hosting procedures (that is, if you want wine at a dinner, you’ll have to bring it yourself or drink the Mogen David that’s in the fridge for nice Shabbat dinners), I think we’d do a cash bar despite the etiquette. It’s on par with how we generally host. That being said, I would avoid a dinner/cocktail hour reception to make it clear that alcohol shouldn’t be expected. But we would also have sparkling cider and such, something that’s still “fancy” and festive even if it’s nonalcoholic.
Post # 89
Husband and I are not huge drinkers but I’d prefer the option to purchase a drink or two rather than not have alcohol at all.
Weddings are expensive. It seems like more and more couples seem to be moving away from a completely hosted open bar. Sometimes it seems people lose sight that wedding receptions are to celebrate a couple’s new life together. It need not be a no holds barred alcohol fest.
Post # 90
Cash bars are totally normal where I’m from.
So naturally I don’t mind seeing them at weddings. I don’t go to a wedding to be catered to. The day is about the bride & groom, and as long as I’m treated with kindness I’ll be happy as can be.
Cash bar all the way. No alcohol is lame..
Post # 91
@RunsWithBears: That’s odd to me. I’m from rural center michigan myself, & primarily all I see are cash bars & sometimes the occasion provided keg.
Differing social circles I suppose.