Post # 1
I’d like some advice about not having an at-home reception following a destination wedding. The protocol seems to be that couples have the reception at home following their Destination Wedding, however, my fiance and I dont plan on having this…is this considered rude?
I hate to offend the people who cant make it to our wedding, but i’d rather invest my time, energey and money into other things instead of having 2 weddings one for people who can make the trip and those who cant…are we obligated to host a reception for people who arent able to attend the actual wedding?
Please give me your honest (brutal) opinions!
Post # 2
redredwine: I don’t think you’re required to have a separate reception at home. You’re choosing to have a Destination Wedding. If you wanted an at-home reception, you would have done that in the first place. I don’t think anyone *expects* an additional reception. However, this is why I don’t like DWs because the vast majority of people won’t be able to attend yet they want to share in that special moment. But your family and friends will have to accept and respect your decision and not expect you to throw an additional party for them.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
nope. not obligated to do anything extra. it’s nice to have, but totally your choice.
Post # 4
No obligation whatsoever.
Post # 5
We had a Destination Wedding with 18 people and we had nothing when we got home. If you didn’t come to Mexico for the wedding and the reception then you didn’t attend our wedding. I’m with you- I wanted to spend the money on our actual wedding and reception and to give our friends and family who did travel and made plans to attend our Destination Wedding a great time and really roll out the red carpet for them- and that’s exactly what we did- it was a 5 day party for our guests.
So sad for those who didn’t come- we missed them, we still love them, we understood that a Destination Wedding isn’t doable for everyone- but no way was I offering a second chance reception.
Post # 6
We had a Destination Wedding and didn’t have an at-home reception either. The thought crossed our mind but I didn’t want to effectively pay for two weddings. The Destination Wedding wasn’t cheap despite what some people might think and we didn’t want to budget for another reception. We also had a Destination Wedding because we didn’t want to have a massive reception at home in the first.
I would say there’s no obligation to have one. It would be awkward for your guests too. Would you give a gift? Not get a gift? Is it a formal reception? A dinner? Too complicated!
Post # 7
We entertained the idea originally and some family members mentioned that we should do it. One family member offered to host it at their house and then never brought it up again, lol. Of course there were people we would have loved to be there the day we got married, but time, money, distance, got in the way. They will see the photos and the video from the day if they want to, but I don’t think anyone missed it.
No obligation to do so at all. If you really want to then go for it!
Post # 8
redredwine: Not obligated at all.
Post # 9
I leave for Ireland in two weeks. Not once over the course of this year have I ever considered having a reception at home.
For my husband and I, the whole reason we are having a destination wedding is to avoid family drama (divorced parents, estranged siblings, jealous sisters…pick your poison, we have them all). An added bonus is that we avoid paying $15,000 for some mediocre chicken cordon bleu and a color pallette that everyone is just going to criticize all night long after they drink up all the booze and vomit on the rented dance floor.
So, it would kind of defeat the primary reasons for our Destination Wedding if we then invited this chaos back into our lives. Would I like to have a gift registry? Sure, but not at the expense of my sanity. For my husband and I, this wedding is for us and ONLY us. Everyone else is welcome to marvel at the photos or to congratulate us. But, this is your wedding and it really should be about you.
Post # 10
WOW! Thank you all so much! I feel so much better! I definately felt a strange vibe when I told people I wasnt doing a reception but hearing all of your feedback makes me certain we are making the right choice!
Post # 11
Doing a Destination Wedding is supposed to be less stressful but all of these little things (like at-home receptions) keep popping up and making me crazy!
Post # 12
Nope. I actually find the at-home reception to be very rude. They have their fancy wedding where I’m not invited, and then they come home to have the gift-giving part.
Post # 13
JiminyCricket: HAHAHA! I like your perspective! Thats a great point!
Post # 14
redredwine: Nope, totally not obligated! Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
Post # 15
redredwine: I had a Destination Wedding in Mexico and no at-home reception. I felt the same as you – I was having a Destination Wedding to skip a lot of the traditional hoopla! I think you’ve made a good choice.