(Closed) No baby invited

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

LOL. Congrats, Unfotunately it is becoming all too common now for people to have children before marriage. The statistics are that there are more births to unmarried women nowadays than women who are actually married. Crazy isn’t it.

Post # 4
Member
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@JustMarried51912:  

What is the problem with not being married and having a baby? Shouldn’t all that matters be that the baby is wanted and being brough up within a loving stable relationship?

Post # 5
Member
2126 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m 5 months away from the wedding..no kids yet. I feel you that as a single girl, wanting the fairy tale ideal wedding in which you waited to have kids, but we all know we just got lucky and didn’t actually accomplish anything! lol…as nothing is fool proof unless you actually waited, waited. So, I’m afraid my dear, this post is going to be offensive to many women.

Post # 6
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@j_jaye: No-one is saying that having a baby out of wedlock is wrong. There’s no need to get defensive. I’m sure teen mothers make up a nice chunk of that statistic. I don’t know anyone who thinks that babies having babies is a good thing. Sure, some turn out to be fantastic parents but many don’t. 

Obviously there doesn’t need to be a marriage certificate in order to care for and love your child but lots of people still have those boring ole’ traditional values. I’m one of ’em.

Post # 7
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@UpstateCait:  yup…..I imagine teen moms and single moms are a large chunk. Not that they can’t have happy, healthy, upbringings (and many do), but I imagine it’s more difficult than most stable, married households. 

Post # 8
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Dr Pepper:  I know what you are saying. When my BFF and I both turned 20, we had a celebretory drink saying “We beat teen pregnancy!”

Post # 9
Member
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@UpstateCait:  “Unfotunately it is becoming all too common now for people to have children before marriage. The statistics are that there are more births to unmarried women nowadays than women who are actually married. Crazy isn’t it.”

The two higlighted lines clearly indicated that the poster judges people who have babies out of wedlock.

Post # 10
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

Whether or not that is the case, the OP is entitled to her opinion.

If you go through threads looking for ways to be offended on this site, you’re going to spend a lot of time angry. 

http://www.childtrendsdatabank.org/?q=node/196

This is one of many articles I found stating that in general, the odds are stacked higher for children born out of wedlock. So I would agree that it’s not necessarily a good trend. 

Post # 11
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@j_jaye:  Seriously? You’re looking for a reason to be offended. I really don’t think the PP meant anything by it. No one is saying that unwed parents are any less qualified than wed parents, as long as everyone has their shit together. 

Post # 12
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

If you go through threads looking for ways to be offended on this site, you’re going to spend a lot of time angry.

^ This 100%

 @Dr Pepper:  Glad to hear that no “winking” has produced any kiddos yet & that things are going as planned 😉

Post # 13
Member
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@hisgoosiegirl:  I never said I was offended by the statement. I just think making judging statements about someone else’s life choices is rude and yes could cause offense and could be very damaging to someones self worth. No one has to agree but a littel bit of respect goes a long way. I would feel the same way if someone had posted that all those church going folk who believe in no babies before wedlock are whack (not my personal opinion btw just an example).

As I said in my post isn’t it important that a baby is raised in a loving stable environment? The data that you quoted is mainly references single-parent families. I too could do a google search and find articles stating that whether a baby was born in or out of wedlock made no difference to the odds!

Post # 14
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

If you spend time looking for ways other people could be offended at threads, you’re going to spend even more time angry. 

Post # 15
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

We did the same thing, lol. Once we were less than 3 months out was another point.

Post # 16
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@AmeliaBedelia:  hey congrats on your wedding this weekend, hope everything goes well!

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